66 yr old just found out and trying to make the best choice of treatments

gadan1
gadan1 Member Posts: 19
edited March 2014 in Prostate Cancer #1
Tried to do this Saturday, but did not post. I'm 66, found out Wed I have Prostate Cancer. Early detection i guess, I"m 66 minor stroke 4 yrs ago, type 2 diabetes, and all that goes with it. Actually feel pretty good and in decent health. My PSA was 5.2 , Gleason 3+4, and Stge T1C. I understand there was 1 of 12 positive in the biopsy. My Urologist told me the 3 choices, and kind of suggested the seed option. While there he gave me a name and number to set up a consult. I went through with it, but now i'm having second thoughts. My wife and I after reading so much stuff over the weekend, now are leaning toward removal, but I just don't want to make the wrong choice. I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on what little information i have provided, but any help is better than none. Thanks
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Comments

  • lewvino
    lewvino Member Posts: 1,010
    Sorry to hear about your
    Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I'm 55 and had my Davinci surgery on Aug. 12. Doing really great post op. I had PSA similiar to yours and my Gleason after pathology report was 3+4. Also type 2 diabetic. I had my first post surgery PSA Drawn today and am anxiously awaiting the result since I did have a positive margin post surgery.

    It's a tough decision to make so do your homework and read, read, read.
    If you go with surgery (Robotic) Make sure you get a suregeon with tons of experience. I'm not talking a couple hundred...Look for someone in the 1000's. It has a steep learning curve and big impact on urine control and sexual functioning. If you want to shoot me an email off line I'll be glad to talk to you more 'frank' about what to expect or at least what I encountered. I can be reached at [email protected]

    Oh yes, My dad was treated for prostate cancer back in 1997 and is doing great so the cancer is treatable!

    Larry
  • hopeful and optimistic
    hopeful and optimistic Member Posts: 2,333 Member
    Hi
    Well remember this is a very slow growing disease, so you do not have to rush to treat........take you time and make the right decision, read, support groups, etc,

    Have the parrafin blocks from your biopsy sent to an EXPERT for a second opinion..so that you are not under or over treated..........figuring out the gleason score is very complicated...a good choice is Dr. Epstein, Johns Hopkins Medical Center.

    good luck
    Ira
    active surveillence
    2 of 12 cores, less than 5 percent involvement
    gleason 3+3=6
    psa 2.2 in Jan 2.5 in july
    diagnosed march 2009, age 66
  • muttsrule
    muttsrule Member Posts: 52
    66 yr old just found out
    Hi, and welcome to the club. I'm just recuperating from cryoablation (ice). A very helpful book to get is 100 Questions and Answers about Prostate Cancer, 2nd ed, which my urologist gave me. Another key to lots of info is www.johnshopkinshealthalerts. My best wishes. John in Seattle
  • shipjim
    shipjim Member Posts: 137
    To cut or not to cut
    Those are your choices. If you do and its as you describe odds are its gone forever, there could be a couple of side effects like impotecy and incontinance which may or may not last, after over 3 yrs I have minor incontinence and am impotent. There are radiation and hormone treatments but if they don't work I believe surgery is out.
    Iused DaVinci and had no pain and little slow down of live.
    Don't let them cut you open, there's no need, if your Doc won't use the robot find one who will it's your body and your choice. If he doesn't like it find a new doc cause after the surgery, you won't really need him anyway. Your GP can do the PSA test.

    Read this site and research on your own. For me cut was the only option.

    good luck, jj

    P.s There's no spell check on this so if I missed something sorry.
  • gadan1
    gadan1 Member Posts: 19
    Thanks for replying
    Thanks guys. It means a lot to hear first hand accounts. I know each case is unique but some knowledge and experience is much better than none. I'm really OK with it for now, but I am so torn about my choices. I want it over with quickly, but then again, my Urologist kind of suggested the seeds. But the implants would be where he works so I am not totally sure he is not somewhat biased. Then again, he is the one that suggested I give it much thought before deciding. What i have learned is what was said about experience. That appears to be a constant theme. I guess my biggest fear is the in continence. I just wish there was a consensus about what procedure is most reliable. I find it hard to believe that there is not "preferred" procedure widely held by all. I'm not expecting unanimous agreement, but the idea that each specialist thinks his choice is superior is problematic to say the least. I live near a supposed highly respected seed implant center. Most people i understand must spend 6 weeks here in Atlanta living in a hotel/motel. It is only a 25 min drive for me each day if i go that route. Please feel free to offer any other thoughts. I truly am undecided and apprehensive.
    Thanks again for any advice.
  • hopeful and optimistic
    hopeful and optimistic Member Posts: 2,333 Member
    gadan1 said:

    Thanks for replying
    Thanks guys. It means a lot to hear first hand accounts. I know each case is unique but some knowledge and experience is much better than none. I'm really OK with it for now, but I am so torn about my choices. I want it over with quickly, but then again, my Urologist kind of suggested the seeds. But the implants would be where he works so I am not totally sure he is not somewhat biased. Then again, he is the one that suggested I give it much thought before deciding. What i have learned is what was said about experience. That appears to be a constant theme. I guess my biggest fear is the in continence. I just wish there was a consensus about what procedure is most reliable. I find it hard to believe that there is not "preferred" procedure widely held by all. I'm not expecting unanimous agreement, but the idea that each specialist thinks his choice is superior is problematic to say the least. I live near a supposed highly respected seed implant center. Most people i understand must spend 6 weeks here in Atlanta living in a hotel/motel. It is only a 25 min drive for me each day if i go that route. Please feel free to offer any other thoughts. I truly am undecided and apprehensive.
    Thanks again for any advice.

    Hey.........
    sit back in your chair, and take a deep breath.....feel a little better......basically we all go thru shock during the first month or so........

    YOu do not have to stay local for any treatment that you decide....you simple want the best with whatever treatment you decide on. YOu only get one chance.

    Yes your doc is probably biased.......money talks

    From what I read, robotic surgery is the gold standard.......as one of the above posters mentions..........after radiation........it is very very hard to cut because the tissue is radiated, however after surgery you can have radiation if it is not successful.

    once again get a second opinion on the results of your biopsy.......it can affect your treatment choice.
    Ira
  • Kentr
    Kentr Member Posts: 111
    gadan1 said:

    Thanks for replying
    Thanks guys. It means a lot to hear first hand accounts. I know each case is unique but some knowledge and experience is much better than none. I'm really OK with it for now, but I am so torn about my choices. I want it over with quickly, but then again, my Urologist kind of suggested the seeds. But the implants would be where he works so I am not totally sure he is not somewhat biased. Then again, he is the one that suggested I give it much thought before deciding. What i have learned is what was said about experience. That appears to be a constant theme. I guess my biggest fear is the in continence. I just wish there was a consensus about what procedure is most reliable. I find it hard to believe that there is not "preferred" procedure widely held by all. I'm not expecting unanimous agreement, but the idea that each specialist thinks his choice is superior is problematic to say the least. I live near a supposed highly respected seed implant center. Most people i understand must spend 6 weeks here in Atlanta living in a hotel/motel. It is only a 25 min drive for me each day if i go that route. Please feel free to offer any other thoughts. I truly am undecided and apprehensive.
    Thanks again for any advice.

    "I'm not expecting unanimous agreement, but the idea that each specialist thinks his choice is superior is problematic to say the least. I live near a supposed highly respected seed implant center. Most people i understand must spend 6 weeks here in Atlanta living in a hotel/motel"

    First off, absent some really off the wall surgical situation, you will NOT need to spend 6 weeks in Atlanta post surgery. I had brachytherapy in January of 2008. Surgery took place around 2:00 pm and I was on the way home around 6:30 pm (I don't remember much of the trip because I was dopey from anesthesia - lol).

    As far as the "best" procedure goes, they all seem to have similar results which only adds to the confusion. My doctor discussed all options with me. I did a lot of reading and eventually decided on brachytherapy. When I told the doctor my decision he said that's what he would do. He had no stake in the process because it would be done elsewhere.

    Do I have any regrets? No. Have I had second thoughts? Yes. Why? I haven't got a clue other than reading what some others have posted and wondering if things might have turned out even better had I had a different procedure.

    Another thing to consider (as noted by my doctor) is that probably 95% of the guys that had successful surgery (of ANY type) don't post to message boards - they move on with their lives.

    So, take your time, check out info at reputable websites (Mayo Clinic, Kaiser, etc.), read what the guys are posting here, etc.

    Best of luck as you struggle with your decision.

    Kent

    Edited to add: I was 66 at the time of surgery.
  • gadan1
    gadan1 Member Posts: 19
    Kentr said:

    "I'm not expecting unanimous agreement, but the idea that each specialist thinks his choice is superior is problematic to say the least. I live near a supposed highly respected seed implant center. Most people i understand must spend 6 weeks here in Atlanta living in a hotel/motel"

    First off, absent some really off the wall surgical situation, you will NOT need to spend 6 weeks in Atlanta post surgery. I had brachytherapy in January of 2008. Surgery took place around 2:00 pm and I was on the way home around 6:30 pm (I don't remember much of the trip because I was dopey from anesthesia - lol).

    As far as the "best" procedure goes, they all seem to have similar results which only adds to the confusion. My doctor discussed all options with me. I did a lot of reading and eventually decided on brachytherapy. When I told the doctor my decision he said that's what he would do. He had no stake in the process because it would be done elsewhere.

    Do I have any regrets? No. Have I had second thoughts? Yes. Why? I haven't got a clue other than reading what some others have posted and wondering if things might have turned out even better had I had a different procedure.

    Another thing to consider (as noted by my doctor) is that probably 95% of the guys that had successful surgery (of ANY type) don't post to message boards - they move on with their lives.

    So, take your time, check out info at reputable websites (Mayo Clinic, Kaiser, etc.), read what the guys are posting here, etc.

    Best of luck as you struggle with your decision.

    Kent

    Edited to add: I was 66 at the time of surgery.

    makes total senxe
    Thaks Kent. What you said about posts on here. I do want to say that the first few minutes after finding this board and reading all of the recent comments, I felt ORDINARY. It really is sad that more guys do not share their experiences, but i guess it's natural.
    My wife is so supportive and I love her more now than ever before, and i did not know that was possible. But, she cannot understand the many emotions I am experiencing. Who do I tell, who don't i tell. When do I tell our grown children. Do i share details and emotions, or just give them the basics. How do I keep from wondering if i will be dead in a few months or years. All of these thoughts seem to consume my thought processes this past week. It's not fear. It is not knowing what procedure to choose that drives me to wonder so much.
    I haved rambled on and I am sorry. What I need now is to decide what type of treatment to have. Until that decision is made, I can't move ahead. Most people and sites say it is up to me. That I knew the minute my Urologist told me I have cancer.
    I"m looking for individual opinions from guys that have been through this. You will not decide for me, but who better to ask than those who have gone down this path ahead of me.
  • Kentr
    Kentr Member Posts: 111
    gadan1 said:

    makes total senxe
    Thaks Kent. What you said about posts on here. I do want to say that the first few minutes after finding this board and reading all of the recent comments, I felt ORDINARY. It really is sad that more guys do not share their experiences, but i guess it's natural.
    My wife is so supportive and I love her more now than ever before, and i did not know that was possible. But, she cannot understand the many emotions I am experiencing. Who do I tell, who don't i tell. When do I tell our grown children. Do i share details and emotions, or just give them the basics. How do I keep from wondering if i will be dead in a few months or years. All of these thoughts seem to consume my thought processes this past week. It's not fear. It is not knowing what procedure to choose that drives me to wonder so much.
    I haved rambled on and I am sorry. What I need now is to decide what type of treatment to have. Until that decision is made, I can't move ahead. Most people and sites say it is up to me. That I knew the minute my Urologist told me I have cancer.
    I"m looking for individual opinions from guys that have been through this. You will not decide for me, but who better to ask than those who have gone down this path ahead of me.

    Hey Gadan!
    You have every right in the world to be on an emotional roller coaster. For me, it was best to tell everyone (kids and friends) what was going on - the hardest one to tell was my 20 year old granddaughter - we are thicker than thieves and she was extremely upset until I "talked her down."

    I think there's a great deal to be accomplished by getting it all out in the open. You will be surprised at the support you will receive - it's a whole lot better than going it alone! You aren't Superman my friend!

    We all wonder how long we're going to be around so your thoughts are fully in concert with all of us. Just remember, every time you get in a car could be your last so it's really not that much different, is it?

    Although my brachytherapy actually went well, I sometimes wonder about the same thing. Is the cancer really gone? Did the seeds miss some of the cancer? Had it already spread but they didn't catch it? Will it come back with a vengance and take me out? All tough issues to deal with I know.

    I cannot, nor will I, tell you brachytherapy is the "best" way to go. I can, however, say that after a few months my system calmed down. The urgency related to urinating and bowel movements essentially passed (full disclosure - every now and then I do have an "urgency" issue related to my bowels but it's no worse than eating hot chile peppers and ice cream along with a Big Mac if you know what I mean - lol)

    No incontinence issues at all. However, my libido has tanked and I do have issues related to ED which I have not pursued with my doctor.

    Like you, I have a lady I love very much and that makes you and I quite lucky. If she's having difficulty understanding your emotions it's normal - she's probably scared so talk about all the positive things - we caught it early, it's treatable, I'm going to whip this thing, etc.

    Hang in there Gadan!
  • gadan1
    gadan1 Member Posts: 19
    Kentr said:

    Hey Gadan!
    You have every right in the world to be on an emotional roller coaster. For me, it was best to tell everyone (kids and friends) what was going on - the hardest one to tell was my 20 year old granddaughter - we are thicker than thieves and she was extremely upset until I "talked her down."

    I think there's a great deal to be accomplished by getting it all out in the open. You will be surprised at the support you will receive - it's a whole lot better than going it alone! You aren't Superman my friend!

    We all wonder how long we're going to be around so your thoughts are fully in concert with all of us. Just remember, every time you get in a car could be your last so it's really not that much different, is it?

    Although my brachytherapy actually went well, I sometimes wonder about the same thing. Is the cancer really gone? Did the seeds miss some of the cancer? Had it already spread but they didn't catch it? Will it come back with a vengance and take me out? All tough issues to deal with I know.

    I cannot, nor will I, tell you brachytherapy is the "best" way to go. I can, however, say that after a few months my system calmed down. The urgency related to urinating and bowel movements essentially passed (full disclosure - every now and then I do have an "urgency" issue related to my bowels but it's no worse than eating hot chile peppers and ice cream along with a Big Mac if you know what I mean - lol)

    No incontinence issues at all. However, my libido has tanked and I do have issues related to ED which I have not pursued with my doctor.

    Like you, I have a lady I love very much and that makes you and I quite lucky. If she's having difficulty understanding your emotions it's normal - she's probably scared so talk about all the positive things - we caught it early, it's treatable, I'm going to whip this thing, etc.

    Hang in there Gadan!

    Again, Thanks
    Your last reply about did it. I had tears in my eyes while reading it, this coming from a retired policeman. You sound so much like me and what I am feeling. As for the ED, the days of putting jellybeans in a jar each time are long past. Lately, it is more an event than a routine, but we are both OK with that since parts of performance have been negatively affected by the diabetes, high blood pressure meds and menopause.
    If there are others out there that have made the choice, gone through treatment, and have an opinion, please share them with me. I am going to give myself at least two weeks to research and decide. Your input would be invaluable to me.
    Again, Thanks
  • lewvino
    lewvino Member Posts: 1,010
    gadan1 said:

    Again, Thanks
    Your last reply about did it. I had tears in my eyes while reading it, this coming from a retired policeman. You sound so much like me and what I am feeling. As for the ED, the days of putting jellybeans in a jar each time are long past. Lately, it is more an event than a routine, but we are both OK with that since parts of performance have been negatively affected by the diabetes, high blood pressure meds and menopause.
    If there are others out there that have made the choice, gone through treatment, and have an opinion, please share them with me. I am going to give myself at least two weeks to research and decide. Your input would be invaluable to me.
    Again, Thanks

    Gadan1,When I was diagnosed
    Gadan1,
    When I was diagnosed with the prostate cancer (Spring 2009) my doctor told me he was more worried about the effects of my diabeties! Pre surgery I went on a weight loss plan and lost 35 pounds before surgery! As a result my Diabetic meds were cut in 1/2 doze and my blood pressure dropped also from the weight loss. I had my surgery on Aug. 12.

    I chose the Davinci for my option and am glad I did. Especially after getting the Pathology report and speaking with the Dr I knew exactly how severe the cancer at a Gleason 7. Still a Gleason 7 but was down graded from 4+3 to 3+4. The doctor told me just yesterday they actually found some of the type 5 cells in the pathology and he was glad we did the surgery when I did. If needed I can have radiation as a second line of defense.

    I know of another man age 71 that just had his Davinci about 3 months ago.

    Get the book by Patrick Walsh on Prostate cancer. It is an excellent read and might help you make up your mind. You can order it online from any of the booksellers for around $10.00.

    Dr. Walsh is a surgeon from John Hopkins and is an EXPERT. Of course he talks more surgery but you will learn lots from reading his book about this cancer.
    Its called Dr. Walsh's guide to surviving prostate cancer.

    It looks like you might live around Atlanta area. I live in Chattanooga and if you want to meet and talk in person just let me know.

    Larry
  • LBlanks
    LBlanks Member Posts: 44
    gadan1 said:

    makes total senxe
    Thaks Kent. What you said about posts on here. I do want to say that the first few minutes after finding this board and reading all of the recent comments, I felt ORDINARY. It really is sad that more guys do not share their experiences, but i guess it's natural.
    My wife is so supportive and I love her more now than ever before, and i did not know that was possible. But, she cannot understand the many emotions I am experiencing. Who do I tell, who don't i tell. When do I tell our grown children. Do i share details and emotions, or just give them the basics. How do I keep from wondering if i will be dead in a few months or years. All of these thoughts seem to consume my thought processes this past week. It's not fear. It is not knowing what procedure to choose that drives me to wonder so much.
    I haved rambled on and I am sorry. What I need now is to decide what type of treatment to have. Until that decision is made, I can't move ahead. Most people and sites say it is up to me. That I knew the minute my Urologist told me I have cancer.
    I"m looking for individual opinions from guys that have been through this. You will not decide for me, but who better to ask than those who have gone down this path ahead of me.

    Similar Situation & Decision Process
    I am also 66, recently diagnoised with prostate cancer, PSA 4.01, Gleason of 3+3, TC1 and 6 of 12 samples positive.
    Also live in the Atlanta area (Fayetteville)
    I've been going through the same process of trying to decide between ProstRcision treatment at Radiotherapy Clinics of Georgia or robotic surgery.
    I've talked with Dr. Critz twice and have gotten his analysis from their database on my prospects as a candidate for prostRcision of being a 98% cure rate.
    However,I think I've decided to have the prostate removed (recent decision). Now I'm trying to determine who, where and when to have it done.
    I decided that it's best to have a back-up plan and if the radiation doesn't work, then other than hormone therapy, there's not much else to do.
    With removal (surgery), if the PSA indicates additional treatment is required, you have the radiation as a back-up.
    At least this was my though process but we all have to search our souls and consult with our family to see what's best for each of us as individuals.

    Good luck on your research and whichever direction you decide, stay positive and don't look back.

    Larry B
  • WHW
    WHW Member Posts: 189
    Thought I Might Weigh in on The Discussion
    Gadan,

    I have been out of town for a couple of weeks and there was no net connection up in the TN hills that I could rely on.

    I have just finished reading through the threads to your post and thought I would weigh in.

    Some of the folks here have seen my posts in the past and know my story, but maybe you haven't.

    I was 60 in June when I was diagnosed with PCa. My dr called me about 2 minutes after I had hung up from talking with my wife, who was in the hospital. She was running a 105 temperature and I was on my way to see her.

    My wife was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma Cancer in November 2005. Her cancer is not curable. You do the things that are available and have success and you beat it down til it rears it's head and you start again. She has been through induction chemo-therapy (which led to a stroke after 7 days on the meds), an operation to clear the 90% blockage of her carotid artery caused by the blood clot from the drug. She has been through additional chemo, stem cell transplant (which weakened her immune system) and four hospitalizations with pneumonia in the last 4 years. The last bout put her into ARDS (respiratory distress) and a trip to the ICU on the ventilator which lasted 4 weeks with a stay in the hospital of 7 weeks.

    It was at the beginning of this last hospitalization that my doc called to tell me I had PCa. I could not help but chuckle and laugh when he told me. It took him by surprise. I told him that he might as well be telling me he x-rayed my foot because I bumped it in the night and he was calling to tell me the bone was broke. I did not have time for cancer. I am my wife's caregiver and she needs my energy.

    So while I was staying with her by day, I was doing my research by night. I've become quite adept at medical research because of my wife. That is when I came to find this site and one other that I frequented daily. I posed my questions, read the experiences, did further research and traveled my path.

    Unlike my wife's cancer, mine had a fairly good chance of being cured. There are no guarantees with PCa and everyone reacts differently to the cancer and the treatments, including the side effects.

    My goal was to get the cancer out. To minimize my down time and return to my wife.

    I chose da Vinci surgery. It was the least downtime. It offered the immediacy of feedback on the cancer via the post surgery pathology. I would know to what degree the side effects would hit me and could have hope that they would improve over time.

    I felt that getting the cancer out was the goal. My biggest concern was the incontinence side effect. I am a college baseball/softball sports official. And peeing my pants or changing my pads every 2 innings was not an option. Kinda would have put an end to my activity there.

    Ed was another issue. Maybe in a way my wife's cancer was a blessing. It prepared me and us for that. The damage to her bones from the cancer and the effects from the drugs and transplant make it uncomfortable for her most of the time. So we have spent the last couple of years being more intimate than we had ever been in our 27 years of marriage. We learned new and exciting ways to please each other that did not involve intercourse. So when the topic of ED was talked about between us, it was almost a moot point. And by the way, just 4 weeks out from treatment and no erections yet, I can tell you that the "DRY" orgasms, without erection, following surgery are some of the most intense that I have ever experienced in my life. And since they are dry, multiple orgasm is now a part of my vocabulary as well.

    For the incontinence, I have been dry since the day they took the catheter out.

    I am blessed with really good health insurance so once I made the decision to have the surgery, I wanted the best I could find. I wanted the guy who cared as much about the side effects as he did about getting the cancer out.

    Once I found the guy that was right for me, a serene sense of peace and calm came over me. I spent the next 4 weeks bringing my wife home from the hospital and seeing that she was improving to the point that I could leave to go have the surgery. I went alone and was gone 8 days from beginning to end.

    I had no problem telling my kids and my family about the cancer. I just told them "it is what it is". There are no guarantees in life and "Every Day is A Bonus".

    So take your time. Think about your family and your wife. Talk to your wife and include her in all of your thoughts and discussions about the journey you are on. There is not one of us that can make this trip alone. PCa not only effects us but our wives and loved ones almost to a greater extent. They can not make the trip for us as they might want. They can only offer support, love and comfort. They have to know that we are not fragile and they can talk to us about it and everything that comes along. We must be cognizant of the fact that they are with us and we can't shut them out.

    In the long run the decision we make on the course of treatment is almost secondary. How we chose to live our lives is far more important. PCa is not an automatic death sentence. Yours has been detected early, you have time to wade through this decision jungle and prepare for the future.

    None of us walk alone. Our loved ones, our fellow PCa brothers and God walk with us. While many may not have said it, they have all been saying prayers of blessing for you and your family from the day you first posted. Be at peace, slow down and it will become clear what is right for you.

    The prayers of myself and my wife are with you and your family,

    Sonny
  • WHW
    WHW Member Posts: 189
    WHW said:

    Thought I Might Weigh in on The Discussion
    Gadan,

    I have been out of town for a couple of weeks and there was no net connection up in the TN hills that I could rely on.

    I have just finished reading through the threads to your post and thought I would weigh in.

    Some of the folks here have seen my posts in the past and know my story, but maybe you haven't.

    I was 60 in June when I was diagnosed with PCa. My dr called me about 2 minutes after I had hung up from talking with my wife, who was in the hospital. She was running a 105 temperature and I was on my way to see her.

    My wife was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma Cancer in November 2005. Her cancer is not curable. You do the things that are available and have success and you beat it down til it rears it's head and you start again. She has been through induction chemo-therapy (which led to a stroke after 7 days on the meds), an operation to clear the 90% blockage of her carotid artery caused by the blood clot from the drug. She has been through additional chemo, stem cell transplant (which weakened her immune system) and four hospitalizations with pneumonia in the last 4 years. The last bout put her into ARDS (respiratory distress) and a trip to the ICU on the ventilator which lasted 4 weeks with a stay in the hospital of 7 weeks.

    It was at the beginning of this last hospitalization that my doc called to tell me I had PCa. I could not help but chuckle and laugh when he told me. It took him by surprise. I told him that he might as well be telling me he x-rayed my foot because I bumped it in the night and he was calling to tell me the bone was broke. I did not have time for cancer. I am my wife's caregiver and she needs my energy.

    So while I was staying with her by day, I was doing my research by night. I've become quite adept at medical research because of my wife. That is when I came to find this site and one other that I frequented daily. I posed my questions, read the experiences, did further research and traveled my path.

    Unlike my wife's cancer, mine had a fairly good chance of being cured. There are no guarantees with PCa and everyone reacts differently to the cancer and the treatments, including the side effects.

    My goal was to get the cancer out. To minimize my down time and return to my wife.

    I chose da Vinci surgery. It was the least downtime. It offered the immediacy of feedback on the cancer via the post surgery pathology. I would know to what degree the side effects would hit me and could have hope that they would improve over time.

    I felt that getting the cancer out was the goal. My biggest concern was the incontinence side effect. I am a college baseball/softball sports official. And peeing my pants or changing my pads every 2 innings was not an option. Kinda would have put an end to my activity there.

    Ed was another issue. Maybe in a way my wife's cancer was a blessing. It prepared me and us for that. The damage to her bones from the cancer and the effects from the drugs and transplant make it uncomfortable for her most of the time. So we have spent the last couple of years being more intimate than we had ever been in our 27 years of marriage. We learned new and exciting ways to please each other that did not involve intercourse. So when the topic of ED was talked about between us, it was almost a moot point. And by the way, just 4 weeks out from treatment and no erections yet, I can tell you that the "DRY" orgasms, without erection, following surgery are some of the most intense that I have ever experienced in my life. And since they are dry, multiple orgasm is now a part of my vocabulary as well.

    For the incontinence, I have been dry since the day they took the catheter out.

    I am blessed with really good health insurance so once I made the decision to have the surgery, I wanted the best I could find. I wanted the guy who cared as much about the side effects as he did about getting the cancer out.

    Once I found the guy that was right for me, a serene sense of peace and calm came over me. I spent the next 4 weeks bringing my wife home from the hospital and seeing that she was improving to the point that I could leave to go have the surgery. I went alone and was gone 8 days from beginning to end.

    I had no problem telling my kids and my family about the cancer. I just told them "it is what it is". There are no guarantees in life and "Every Day is A Bonus".

    So take your time. Think about your family and your wife. Talk to your wife and include her in all of your thoughts and discussions about the journey you are on. There is not one of us that can make this trip alone. PCa not only effects us but our wives and loved ones almost to a greater extent. They can not make the trip for us as they might want. They can only offer support, love and comfort. They have to know that we are not fragile and they can talk to us about it and everything that comes along. We must be cognizant of the fact that they are with us and we can't shut them out.

    In the long run the decision we make on the course of treatment is almost secondary. How we chose to live our lives is far more important. PCa is not an automatic death sentence. Yours has been detected early, you have time to wade through this decision jungle and prepare for the future.

    None of us walk alone. Our loved ones, our fellow PCa brothers and God walk with us. While many may not have said it, they have all been saying prayers of blessing for you and your family from the day you first posted. Be at peace, slow down and it will become clear what is right for you.

    The prayers of myself and my wife are with you and your family,

    Sonny

    BTW here are my stats
    Here are my stats pre and post surgery for comparison.

    Sonny

    61 years old
    PSA 11/07 3.0
    PSA 5/09 6.4
    Diagnosis confirmed July 9, 2009
    12 Needle Biopsy = 9 clear , 3 postive
    <5%, 90%, 40%
    Gleason Score (3+4) 7 in all positive cores
    CT Organ Scan - negative
    Nuclear Bone Scan - Negative

    da Vinci 9/17/09 Dr. Mani Menon Henry Ford Medical Institute

    Post Surgery Pathology:
    Gleason: Changed to (4+3) = 7
    Stage: T3a
    Tumor Volume 12.5%
    ALL NERVES SPARED
    Margins: focally positive right posterior mid level
    Perineural Invasion: present
    Seminal Invasion: absent
    Venous Invasion: absent
    Angiolymphatic Invasion: absent
    Left Internal iliac lymph node: reveals zero
    Right Internal lymph node: reveals zero
  • saoco
    saoco Member Posts: 43
    what a place
    Hi gadan it is my style no to welcome any one to this club,but to try to help them when they come.if you notice most of the fellows are kind of new to pc.it seen that when people get better they forget how hard it was to know that they had pc.I ha pc five years ago,thank GOD I
    had Laproscopy surgery and thank God my psa has been 0.04.I went trough my cancer by mylself
    but I had God by myside and that was more than enough.so,you do not has to go through this by yourself you have many people here that will help you.I just want to ask every one in here,no to forget that there were people helping them when they need a shoulder to cry.
    you will be ok.keep posting,asking God for help and you will find the answer you need.
  • gadan1
    gadan1 Member Posts: 19
    saoco said:

    what a place
    Hi gadan it is my style no to welcome any one to this club,but to try to help them when they come.if you notice most of the fellows are kind of new to pc.it seen that when people get better they forget how hard it was to know that they had pc.I ha pc five years ago,thank GOD I
    had Laproscopy surgery and thank God my psa has been 0.04.I went trough my cancer by mylself
    but I had God by myside and that was more than enough.so,you do not has to go through this by yourself you have many people here that will help you.I just want to ask every one in here,no to forget that there were people helping them when they need a shoulder to cry.
    you will be ok.keep posting,asking God for help and you will find the answer you need.

    Tears
    Why do I keep tearing up when i read these messages? It is so not me. Please accept my most heartfelt appreciation for your words and guidance. I know now the power of the internet and words of others. I am amazed that total strangers are caring about other total strangers. I realize we all share(d) the same issue, but I am just not accustomed to this degree of openness about myself.
    Every word I have read means something to me. I am truly undecided as to treatment.
    If I may ask and if anyone knows. What are my odds of being cured. I believe I read it was about 87-90%, but I may have read what I wanted to into the stats, not the facts.
    I check and read this board several times a day. It is invaluable as a resource because it is advice offered from men who forged the path I am following.
  • saoco
    saoco Member Posts: 43
    gadan1 said:

    Tears
    Why do I keep tearing up when i read these messages? It is so not me. Please accept my most heartfelt appreciation for your words and guidance. I know now the power of the internet and words of others. I am amazed that total strangers are caring about other total strangers. I realize we all share(d) the same issue, but I am just not accustomed to this degree of openness about myself.
    Every word I have read means something to me. I am truly undecided as to treatment.
    If I may ask and if anyone knows. What are my odds of being cured. I believe I read it was about 87-90%, but I may have read what I wanted to into the stats, not the facts.
    I check and read this board several times a day. It is invaluable as a resource because it is advice offered from men who forged the path I am following.

    God is the only one who
    God is the only one who knows when is the time.
    I will give you some statidtics that I know.
    when I have my surgery my psa=4.5,gleason=3=3,age=46.
    after surgery,gleason=3=3,that is true gleason.
    margin all clear,semical,clear,bladder neck,clear.
    my doctor told me recurance chances very small.
    statics for any person with my numbers.
    cancer free after 5=99%,10=92%,12=89%
    with the help of GOD,CURE=100%.
    I know what you are going thru,I promise you,it will be fine.
    I know what I am talking about.my father had pc,my brother had pc.
    just remember any choise you take has it own risk.
    my father took radiation because he was 75years when it hit him,but after a couple of years after radiation,every time he uses the bathroom,he use to bleed at lot and I needed to take him to the hospital.He died at 89 but no from pc.
  • WHW
    WHW Member Posts: 189
    gadan1 said:

    Tears
    Why do I keep tearing up when i read these messages? It is so not me. Please accept my most heartfelt appreciation for your words and guidance. I know now the power of the internet and words of others. I am amazed that total strangers are caring about other total strangers. I realize we all share(d) the same issue, but I am just not accustomed to this degree of openness about myself.
    Every word I have read means something to me. I am truly undecided as to treatment.
    If I may ask and if anyone knows. What are my odds of being cured. I believe I read it was about 87-90%, but I may have read what I wanted to into the stats, not the facts.
    I check and read this board several times a day. It is invaluable as a resource because it is advice offered from men who forged the path I am following.

    Try this website
    This is a link to the Sloan Kettering Nomogram calculator. It is a predictor of the outcome of various treatments on the individual statistics of you cancer. It is pretty simple and straight forward. Nomograms are used widely in the PCa field.

    I ran you numbers and they looked good. Don't want to spoil it for you. Give it a try and let us know what you think.

    Be sure to use the Pre-Treatment Calculator, it is the first one listed.

    http://www.mskcc.org/applications/nomograms/Prostate/index.aspx

    Sonny
  • gadan1
    gadan1 Member Posts: 19
    WHW said:

    Try this website
    This is a link to the Sloan Kettering Nomogram calculator. It is a predictor of the outcome of various treatments on the individual statistics of you cancer. It is pretty simple and straight forward. Nomograms are used widely in the PCa field.

    I ran you numbers and they looked good. Don't want to spoil it for you. Give it a try and let us know what you think.

    Be sure to use the Pre-Treatment Calculator, it is the first one listed.

    http://www.mskcc.org/applications/nomograms/Prostate/index.aspx

    Sonny

    another question
    I had my biopsy September 30th I am somewhat concerned about bleeding from the biopsy. The Dr told me before the biopsy i would bleed for a few days and not to worry about it. I bled for 3 weeks gradually improving each day. I had a burning sensation when urinating and it too has gotten better, but it's still there. I have had 3 kidney stones, and it is a milder but similar feeling. I bled like a pig from my penis when i woke up from the biopsy but neither the nurse nor the Dr mentioned it. I am curious if anyone else experienced the same things.

    I have not forgotten all the advice and places to visit for more information,I am still searching for the best option for me, but I find the advice of those who have gone through it the most legitimate. Again Thanks
  • Kentr
    Kentr Member Posts: 111
    gadan1 said:

    another question
    I had my biopsy September 30th I am somewhat concerned about bleeding from the biopsy. The Dr told me before the biopsy i would bleed for a few days and not to worry about it. I bled for 3 weeks gradually improving each day. I had a burning sensation when urinating and it too has gotten better, but it's still there. I have had 3 kidney stones, and it is a milder but similar feeling. I bled like a pig from my penis when i woke up from the biopsy but neither the nurse nor the Dr mentioned it. I am curious if anyone else experienced the same things.

    I have not forgotten all the advice and places to visit for more information,I am still searching for the best option for me, but I find the advice of those who have gone through it the most legitimate. Again Thanks

    Bleeding after biopsy
    Gadan,

    I did not experience bleeding after my biopsy but my doctor did tell me in advance it could happen and not to be overly concerned. If you are still experiencing some bleeding after three weeks, I would at least give him a call just to be on the safe side (it's probably nothing but it doesn;t hurt to check).

    Ah, kidney stones - now there's a fun little medical situation. I've had them three times as well and while I was going through the attack I was praying for the Angel of Death to show up so I could grab her by the throat and ask, "Where in the heck have you been?" :)