Not depression

bdee
bdee Member Posts: 304
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I was shocked this week to learn from my doctor that he does not believe there is depression, just people who "think too much about themselves". He said this as he was leaving the room, which was a good thing because I think my husband was going to deck him.
My husband is a Registered Nurse who has worked 8 years as a nurse in psychiatric hospitals first with adolescents then with adults. He has seen depression in children as young as six years old. We could not believe the doctor had these old fashioned ideas because he's only in his 40's.
I am not depressed a lot about my cancer and try my best not to think about it too much, but there are three people in my family who are being treated for depression and I know they really do have a problem.
The conversation started with us telling the doctor what a good vacation we had last week and that I couldn't believe how well I was able to walk and stay up and have fun. But I still had trouble sleeping and that is what causes any depression I have.
What do you all think?

Debbie
«1

Comments

  • PGLGreg
    PGLGreg Member Posts: 731
    I think there is a deep
    I think there is a deep difference between people who get depressed and those who don't, and it's pretty hard for the one group to have any sympathy with the other. I'm never depressed; my wife sometimes is. Gradually, over the years, I've come to understand that if you are subject to depression, you can't just think your way out of it: "I shall no longer be blue."
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522
    There is depression for
    There is depression for sure.I suffered depression when my husband was first diagnosed.I tried very hard to get myself out of it.I think people all go through depression from time to time,the only difference is just different degree of depression.Some people can adjust themself very well if they get depressed,but some don't.That's why some people need medications to help them out.I agree with you that the doctor is old fashioned.
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member

    There is depression for
    There is depression for sure.I suffered depression when my husband was first diagnosed.I tried very hard to get myself out of it.I think people all go through depression from time to time,the only difference is just different degree of depression.Some people can adjust themself very well if they get depressed,but some don't.That's why some people need medications to help them out.I agree with you that the doctor is old fashioned.

    My Thoughts.........
    I think that your Dr suffers from the HUA syndrome....................Head up ****.....
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    I think that doctor is
    I think that doctor is crazy! My friend had a complete breakdown while her threee year old daughter was going through treatment for leukemia. It took months of intense treatment (and some hospitalization) for her to be back on a good track. And this is normally one of the sunniest people I know.

    Yes, people can be depressed, and no you CANNOT "jolly" them out of it. Snap out of it is not a treatment!

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    tootsie1 said:

    I think that doctor is
    I think that doctor is crazy! My friend had a complete breakdown while her threee year old daughter was going through treatment for leukemia. It took months of intense treatment (and some hospitalization) for her to be back on a good track. And this is normally one of the sunniest people I know.

    Yes, people can be depressed, and no you CANNOT "jolly" them out of it. Snap out of it is not a treatment!

    *hugs*
    Gail

    HaHa...
    ....Sorry, loved Buzz's response LOL

    I don't know how some doctor can sy there is no depression, what a freakin' fool


    Hugsss
    ~Donna
  • coolvdub
    coolvdub Member Posts: 408
    Shayenne said:

    HaHa...
    ....Sorry, loved Buzz's response LOL

    I don't know how some doctor can sy there is no depression, what a freakin' fool


    Hugsss
    ~Donna

    Please get a new Doc
    This person sounds like a total ****. I think he/she suffers from the I'm a God syndrome. To many people have given in to this insensitive jerk because he/she is a Doc. He/she has some sort of superiortity complex and feels if he/she speeks the words they are truth. Okay, rant mode off, this just really hit a nerve today.

    Don
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,715 Member
    That is Aweful
    I would get a new doctor if you asked me, but first I would ask him if he has ever been through cancer and how you are supposed to be happy all the time. This doctor sounds like a jerk. Sometimes doctors loose their human kindness, thats when it's time for you to move on. Good luck and hope all goes well for you.

    Kim
  • Jimbob-
    Jimbob- Member Posts: 46

    That is Aweful
    I would get a new doctor if you asked me, but first I would ask him if he has ever been through cancer and how you are supposed to be happy all the time. This doctor sounds like a jerk. Sometimes doctors loose their human kindness, thats when it's time for you to move on. Good luck and hope all goes well for you.

    Kim

    So we are all in Agreement
    This Doctor is An Idiot..........

    I would fire him and get a new one.........
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633
    Where do doctors get the
    Where do doctors get the idea that they can make these pronouncements and making them makes them true. This hit a nerve with me. I also think sometimes doctors don't really listen or keep up with new ideas. I have fibromyalgia and some doctors don't believe in that either. Then some doctors just try to blame depression for everything. I don't know that I would dump the doctor if you are happy with him in other ways. Hey, maybe you and your husband can educate him. You never know. Fay
  • 4law
    4law Member Posts: 110
    I am God Syndrome
    Of course there's depression and your doctor is an A-1 A**H***. The main thing for you, however, is to decide if he is meeting your needs as an oncologist and if you still have trust and confidence in him, in spite of his narrow-minded and medically incorrect and flawed beliefs about depression. If he is unwilling or unable to meet your medical needs regarding sleep problems, I would switch. I know I had sleep problems during my treatment, as well as being depressed. Luckily, my oncologist and surgeon were both more enlightened and dealt with my problems and assisted me. Of course, the CANCER is the main problems that needs to be attacked -- it is just upsetting that an oncologist feels the way he does. Perhaps he was having an unusually bad day when he said what he did. I would definitely schedule a meeting with him to discuss this further, so you can make an informed decision on staying with him or looking for someone new.
  • bdee
    bdee Member Posts: 304
    Thanks for all your answers
    This really helped me. I know depression strikes a lot of people. I was raised that you could always talk yourself out of being depressed and I guess that is what I do. But, like I said, I have three members of my immediate family being treated for depression and I don't think but one of them has a "me" complex.
    I will be talking with my doctor about this and so will my husband.

    Again, thanks,
    Debbie
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    bdee said:

    Thanks for all your answers
    This really helped me. I know depression strikes a lot of people. I was raised that you could always talk yourself out of being depressed and I guess that is what I do. But, like I said, I have three members of my immediate family being treated for depression and I don't think but one of them has a "me" complex.
    I will be talking with my doctor about this and so will my husband.

    Again, thanks,
    Debbie

    Neuro-transmitters
    ask him if he knows what a neuro-transmitter is and if they shutdown after a while if not used and it takes medication to start them back up again. Ask him why compazine does not work on a chemo patient with nausea ...Because compazine operates through the neuro-transmitters and if they are shutdown caused by the emotional rollercoaster that cancer dx does to us then the compazine becomes a mute medicine. Thats why we opt to move onto a nausea med that is absorbed into the stomach lining and has nothing to do with the electrical signals that the brain puts out to allow it to produce seratonin, or a mood enhancer chemical. Also tell him to try some prozac and he may find that he's not as large an **** as he seems to be...It will keep him from dwelling on himself so much...arrogance is such a lousy bedfellow isn't it....sorry, Im off my box now...{{{{{{{{bdee}}}}}}}}}......Clift
  • dixchi
    dixchi Member Posts: 431
    Buzzard said:

    Neuro-transmitters
    ask him if he knows what a neuro-transmitter is and if they shutdown after a while if not used and it takes medication to start them back up again. Ask him why compazine does not work on a chemo patient with nausea ...Because compazine operates through the neuro-transmitters and if they are shutdown caused by the emotional rollercoaster that cancer dx does to us then the compazine becomes a mute medicine. Thats why we opt to move onto a nausea med that is absorbed into the stomach lining and has nothing to do with the electrical signals that the brain puts out to allow it to produce seratonin, or a mood enhancer chemical. Also tell him to try some prozac and he may find that he's not as large an **** as he seems to be...It will keep him from dwelling on himself so much...arrogance is such a lousy bedfellow isn't it....sorry, Im off my box now...{{{{{{{{bdee}}}}}}}}}......Clift

    Ditto
    Exactly where did this doc get his degrees.....Dogpatch!!
    Don't have much more to add than has already been said....
    find another doc asap.

    Barbara
  • bdee
    bdee Member Posts: 304
    Buzzard said:

    Neuro-transmitters
    ask him if he knows what a neuro-transmitter is and if they shutdown after a while if not used and it takes medication to start them back up again. Ask him why compazine does not work on a chemo patient with nausea ...Because compazine operates through the neuro-transmitters and if they are shutdown caused by the emotional rollercoaster that cancer dx does to us then the compazine becomes a mute medicine. Thats why we opt to move onto a nausea med that is absorbed into the stomach lining and has nothing to do with the electrical signals that the brain puts out to allow it to produce seratonin, or a mood enhancer chemical. Also tell him to try some prozac and he may find that he's not as large an **** as he seems to be...It will keep him from dwelling on himself so much...arrogance is such a lousy bedfellow isn't it....sorry, Im off my box now...{{{{{{{{bdee}}}}}}}}}......Clift

    Buzzard
    I didn't know I was starting something with this post. I just wanted the opinions of people I respect, and man did I get them. I had no idea that the depression subject was so touchy. I still don't feel like I have depression every day, just when I don't sleep well and feel like I've felt these last couple of weeks.
    According to my husband, taking depression medicine is not an on then off process, but something you should do every day because some of the medicines take weeks to really start working in your system.

    Again, to everyone, thanks,
    Debbie
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    bdee said:

    Buzzard
    I didn't know I was starting something with this post. I just wanted the opinions of people I respect, and man did I get them. I had no idea that the depression subject was so touchy. I still don't feel like I have depression every day, just when I don't sleep well and feel like I've felt these last couple of weeks.
    According to my husband, taking depression medicine is not an on then off process, but something you should do every day because some of the medicines take weeks to really start working in your system.

    Again, to everyone, thanks,
    Debbie

    Hi Debbie
    I opened up my post about my upcoming surgery - and in there I mentioned your name and talked to you about that...check it out if you can. I was going to open my post that afternoon so I just included my comments about the subject in the one I opened.

    I went down to the hospital this past week as a guest speaker and one of the topics I discused was Depression and its underlying factors. So, it seemed appropriate.

    The name of the post is: Surgery Date Set Oct 15th - Another Sundance Update

    I hope you are doing much better :)

    -Craig
  • DennisR
    DennisR Member Posts: 148
    Depression
    Hi Debbie,

    Depression is a very real issue that many of us deal with for one reason or another. I've never been depressed in my life, have always dealt with my cancer, treatments,set backs, and successes in a positive way, I've maintained a very good mental attitude over the 9 years I've struggled with my disease, and definitely do not feel sorry for myself, and I'm neither angry or resentful for my condition, which is very good now by the way.
    All that being said, I've suddenly found myself in a very deep depression and am having serious problems finding my way through it. The main reason that I'm depressed is the result of losing so many dear friends, relatives, and other close wonderful, courageous, caring, supportive people that I've shared with over the years, to this insidious disease. The latest loss was my dear wonderful Sister in Law who passed away in July of this year, and her loss has just put me into a complete tailspin, she was such an inspiration to me during her short, but courageous struggle with her disease, and I was so sure and hopeful she would survive and we could fulfil some of the dreams for the future that we shared.
    Fortunately, my PCP is a very perceptive, knowledgeable, and caring person and he recognized the symptoms of severe depression immediately and got me in to see a Grief Counselor within an hour. I'm continuing to see the Counselor on a regular basis and I'm finding that she is very helpful. Today I'm mostly just angry, or at least that's the emotion that seems to be prevailing my thoughts most of the time these days. Anger is an emotion I've not normally experienced over the years and it's very difficult for me to control because I can't even figure out what I'm even angry about. I'm going to attend a Cancer Survivor's support group this afternoon to see if I'm just being self absorbed in pity, as your Dr suggested, or just not accepting things I cannot change, courage, wisdom, yada, yada. Either way, Debbie, I can assure you that Deppression is real and requires professional help and perhaps even medication to help you through it.
    Hope I haven't been too lengthy in this post.
    DennisR
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    DennisR said:

    Depression
    Hi Debbie,

    Depression is a very real issue that many of us deal with for one reason or another. I've never been depressed in my life, have always dealt with my cancer, treatments,set backs, and successes in a positive way, I've maintained a very good mental attitude over the 9 years I've struggled with my disease, and definitely do not feel sorry for myself, and I'm neither angry or resentful for my condition, which is very good now by the way.
    All that being said, I've suddenly found myself in a very deep depression and am having serious problems finding my way through it. The main reason that I'm depressed is the result of losing so many dear friends, relatives, and other close wonderful, courageous, caring, supportive people that I've shared with over the years, to this insidious disease. The latest loss was my dear wonderful Sister in Law who passed away in July of this year, and her loss has just put me into a complete tailspin, she was such an inspiration to me during her short, but courageous struggle with her disease, and I was so sure and hopeful she would survive and we could fulfil some of the dreams for the future that we shared.
    Fortunately, my PCP is a very perceptive, knowledgeable, and caring person and he recognized the symptoms of severe depression immediately and got me in to see a Grief Counselor within an hour. I'm continuing to see the Counselor on a regular basis and I'm finding that she is very helpful. Today I'm mostly just angry, or at least that's the emotion that seems to be prevailing my thoughts most of the time these days. Anger is an emotion I've not normally experienced over the years and it's very difficult for me to control because I can't even figure out what I'm even angry about. I'm going to attend a Cancer Survivor's support group this afternoon to see if I'm just being self absorbed in pity, as your Dr suggested, or just not accepting things I cannot change, courage, wisdom, yada, yada. Either way, Debbie, I can assure you that Deppression is real and requires professional help and perhaps even medication to help you through it.
    Hope I haven't been too lengthy in this post.
    DennisR

    Hey Dennis
    I just opened up a post about an upcoming surgery I've got Oct 15th.

    I've always faced things down too - I'm in year 6, so you're further along, but your post tells me you are feeling just what I am feeling now - the battle wages on and even the most veteran can succumb to the human feelings we are all made of.

    My post is titled: Surgery Update Oct 15th - Another Sundance Update

    In there, I talk both about Depression and Anger - the Anger part of my post might resonate with you to some degree - at least you will feel that what you are feeling is quite normal.

    I'll be over it soon and getting my mind right to fight again, but I've allowed myself these feelings and have not been embarassed to post that and show the board that this can be a normal course of events in our struggles with life.

    Check it out and drop a comment - I'll look for it.

    Take care - Craig
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866
    What do you all think?
    I KNOW that I would find another doctor. What an moron. I wonder if he'd change his mind if he were in someone else's shoes. I can't even believe he was that insensitive to make a comment like that.
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
    Black Dog
    This is a guest post from John Van Sickel of Walking the Black Dog, a blog about overcoming depression.

    Over 120 million people worldwide are affected by the black dog of depression, as Sir Winston Churchill described it. Depression is one of the leading causes of disability, missed work, broken relationships and more.

    Chances are you or someone you know will suffer from it in your lifetime.
    It is truly one of the most devastating of dis-eases (not at ease!) in that it robs you of the ability to simply enjoy life. Activities that you used to enjoy leave you feeling empty. Interacting with friends, family and coworkers can be overwhelming.
    So what can we do? Traditional routes of therapy and even medication are effective and should definitely be considered if depression is disrupting your life.
    However there are other, natural steps to take that can, over time, be very effective. In fact, some studies have shown these to be as effective (or more so) than traditional therapies.
    As an added bonus these are good lifestyle changes that will enhance anyone’s life, depressed or not, and most don’t cost a thing!
    Here are the very practical caveman therapies for modern men and women.

    1. Get outside. Our caveman friends saw lots of daylight; getting up at sunrise and going to sleep at sunset. Exposure to bright sunlight for 30 minutes a day either through sunlight or a light made for this, helps keep your internal clock set. This circadian rhythm helps to regulate our sleep/wake cycle and insures a good night’s sleep which in turn, helps our physical and mental health. Don’t wear sunglasses though; the exposure must come through your eyes!

    2. Aerobic Exercise. Primitive folks had to forage or work in the fields for their food. 30 minutes at least 3 times a week means those ‘runner’s high’ endorphins get released regularly. It’s also a good way to work through and release stress. You don’t have to run a marathon, just get your heart rate up to your target range – around 120 to 160 beats per minute depending on your age and condition. Walking works wonders. Get your doctor’s approval first!

    3. Omega-3 fatty acids. 1,000 mg daily. Omega-3’s aid in the brain’s neuron connectivity. Enteric coated capsules help prevent burping the fishy tasting oil but you can also freeze them. Throw in a good multi-vitamin and avoid overly processed foods in favor of complex carbohydrates (whole grains), fish, free range meats, & vegetables and you’re good to go.

    4. Sleep. Change your sleep routine so that it’s more conducive to a good night’s rest. Turn your lights down and go to bed at the same time everynight. Turn the t.v. off. Engage in calming, quiet activities like reading, listening to soft music, taking a warm bath, rubbing soothing lotion on your body, drink sweet dreams hot tea, etc. Avoid caffeine and alcohol. Don’t work late or do other stressful activities that cause your mind to race. Think positive & good thoughts - Remember a tired body and quiet mind are the requirements for quality sleep.

    5. Socialize. Remember the Amish farmer has his family and community to fall back on for support. There’s no reason you can’t too. Involve yourself with close friends and family. You don’t have to engage in heavy conversations about your plight, just have fun. Keep it simple and go to a movie, visit an art gallery or museum, go to a ball game, grab a cup of coffee or have a meal together. Just be with other people and your feelings of isolation will fade. Do this face to face (not online!) and do it regularly.

    6. Watch your thinking! Anti-rumination strategy is vital to breaking out of depression and other emotional ruts. Become aware of those times you dwell on the negatives in your life – both real or imagined – and stop them. It takes work and persistence but if you constantly tell yourself to ’stop it’ when you start to go over and over the negatives, then you are building a positive habit that will change your life for the better. Whether it’s the jerk who cut you off in traffic or something a little closer to home, don’t give yourself the luxury of a negative thought.

    To read more excellent posts from John, check out his blog, Walking the Black Dog.
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member

    Black Dog
    This is a guest post from John Van Sickel of Walking the Black Dog, a blog about overcoming depression.

    Over 120 million people worldwide are affected by the black dog of depression, as Sir Winston Churchill described it. Depression is one of the leading causes of disability, missed work, broken relationships and more.

    Chances are you or someone you know will suffer from it in your lifetime.
    It is truly one of the most devastating of dis-eases (not at ease!) in that it robs you of the ability to simply enjoy life. Activities that you used to enjoy leave you feeling empty. Interacting with friends, family and coworkers can be overwhelming.
    So what can we do? Traditional routes of therapy and even medication are effective and should definitely be considered if depression is disrupting your life.
    However there are other, natural steps to take that can, over time, be very effective. In fact, some studies have shown these to be as effective (or more so) than traditional therapies.
    As an added bonus these are good lifestyle changes that will enhance anyone’s life, depressed or not, and most don’t cost a thing!
    Here are the very practical caveman therapies for modern men and women.

    1. Get outside. Our caveman friends saw lots of daylight; getting up at sunrise and going to sleep at sunset. Exposure to bright sunlight for 30 minutes a day either through sunlight or a light made for this, helps keep your internal clock set. This circadian rhythm helps to regulate our sleep/wake cycle and insures a good night’s sleep which in turn, helps our physical and mental health. Don’t wear sunglasses though; the exposure must come through your eyes!

    2. Aerobic Exercise. Primitive folks had to forage or work in the fields for their food. 30 minutes at least 3 times a week means those ‘runner’s high’ endorphins get released regularly. It’s also a good way to work through and release stress. You don’t have to run a marathon, just get your heart rate up to your target range – around 120 to 160 beats per minute depending on your age and condition. Walking works wonders. Get your doctor’s approval first!

    3. Omega-3 fatty acids. 1,000 mg daily. Omega-3’s aid in the brain’s neuron connectivity. Enteric coated capsules help prevent burping the fishy tasting oil but you can also freeze them. Throw in a good multi-vitamin and avoid overly processed foods in favor of complex carbohydrates (whole grains), fish, free range meats, & vegetables and you’re good to go.

    4. Sleep. Change your sleep routine so that it’s more conducive to a good night’s rest. Turn your lights down and go to bed at the same time everynight. Turn the t.v. off. Engage in calming, quiet activities like reading, listening to soft music, taking a warm bath, rubbing soothing lotion on your body, drink sweet dreams hot tea, etc. Avoid caffeine and alcohol. Don’t work late or do other stressful activities that cause your mind to race. Think positive & good thoughts - Remember a tired body and quiet mind are the requirements for quality sleep.

    5. Socialize. Remember the Amish farmer has his family and community to fall back on for support. There’s no reason you can’t too. Involve yourself with close friends and family. You don’t have to engage in heavy conversations about your plight, just have fun. Keep it simple and go to a movie, visit an art gallery or museum, go to a ball game, grab a cup of coffee or have a meal together. Just be with other people and your feelings of isolation will fade. Do this face to face (not online!) and do it regularly.

    6. Watch your thinking! Anti-rumination strategy is vital to breaking out of depression and other emotional ruts. Become aware of those times you dwell on the negatives in your life – both real or imagined – and stop them. It takes work and persistence but if you constantly tell yourself to ’stop it’ when you start to go over and over the negatives, then you are building a positive habit that will change your life for the better. Whether it’s the jerk who cut you off in traffic or something a little closer to home, don’t give yourself the luxury of a negative thought.

    To read more excellent posts from John, check out his blog, Walking the Black Dog.

    BDee
    I hope I didn't come across wrong..I wasn't trying to be a fart, just posting is all. Emotions just don't carry over in posting and I was very calm when posting to this, everythings good here, Im sure it is there also....Your Buddy, Clift