Today I lost it
broke. I now have a gapping hole in my mouth when I smile. I just cried and cried, not only am I bald,pale, bloated, eyebrowless and eyelashless, I am now missing a tooth. I can't go to the dentist until my Dr. does my count which I can have done tomorrow when I go for my herceptin alone infustion. I promised my kids that we may go to Disneyland this weekend but I don't want to go because I look like such a freak. I really hate this damn disfiguring disease. Has anyone else suffered from teeth issues while on chemo? I went for a through cleaning and check up before I started chemo and I have been using biotene but I still lost a tooth.Surf
Comments
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Troublesome indeed!!!
Awww Surf I am sorry you ha e had such trials! I too had a tooth break during chemo, it happened during my 18 infusions, it was the front upper one and i nearly broke in half. I was soooo frustrated and self conscious. I had to wait about five days to get it fixed. My dentist was tentative about messing with a cancer patient but since it was so visible he fixed it. Occasionally, I have to have it redone and it is brighter than the others but it all worked out and it will work out for you too. I know that doesn't help you much, but it will get better. Now, that all said it is more than okay for you NOT to feel positive 100 percent of the time, you are human and you are going through a lot! Thinking of you and wishing you brighter days ahead!0 -
Oh Surf sweetie.....
Boy, it sure seems like the whole world is crashing down on you...but I promise, things will get better.
You have already made it through nine infusions. You have done such a great job. But there is no shame in "losing it" now and then. And frankly, I believe that we are hardest on ourselves when it comes to how we look.
If you are not comfortable going to Disneyland, then postpone it for a week. I'm sure that your kids will understand.
And with luck, you will be able to see the dentist very soon.
I did not have tooth problems while on chemo, but maybe I was just lucky.
Hugs,
CR0 -
So Sorrymeena1 said:teeth
I was on taxol/herceptin and felt crummy about half way through, taking morning walks helped me alot, and eating fruits. I did not have any teeth problems, i don't remember hearing anything about that.
Be kind to yourself!!! If you don't feel like getting out then don't go... This is the time to rest and be gently selfish with yourself... It's hard when others are depending on you but don't do more than what your body can take... Your kids may be disappointed but they will still Love you anyway!!!
HUGZ... Calleen0 -
Surf
I do know the feeling,..I just wanted to go into hiding through most of chemo. I didn't lose any teeth but my Onc. said some (like me) have discoloration and need their teeth cleaned after chemo.
We can't be positive every minute of every day..just not possible! You cry if you need to and vent all you want. None of this is easy. And the fatigue just seems to make it worse. But you have come so far hun, and soon you will be done, and start returning to your self again.
Wishing you all the best,
Jackie0 -
Hi Surfermom,
I don't blame
Hi Surfermom,
I don't blame you for losing it. We have all been there at LEAST once on our journeys. I can so relate to how you feel about loosing your tooth. I started loosing mine about 3 mons. into my treatment. I have lost a total of 10 since my diagnosis in 2005. I've never had good teeth to begin with and I was not told to see my dentist before I started chemo and rads. My dentist was furious. She said that she could have given me some heavy duty flouride treatments that would probably have saved my teeth.
You're right, this is an horrendous disease that can not only disfigure you but really give your self esteem a kick in the gut. You just have to remember that everyone loves YOU. Easy to say and hard to remember when you feel like crap. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. You are a warrior and you will beat this monster!
Love and gentle hugs,
Donna0 -
Surf-chemo isn't for wimps, that's for sure!
And, no one here is a wimp. It's tough, it will probably be the toughest thing you will ever have to go through in your life. It was for me, as it was for many on this board.
It was said that we are hardest on ourselves, that's true. I felt so ugly while I was on chemo. Skin discolorations, no hair, putrid-looking really because I was sick all the way through it (until the last infusion), no lashes (they still haven't all come back), and, well you know the story all too well.
But, think about it...you're more than 1/2 way done, right? You've made it this far. You've been an example of bravery, a real trooper. When your dr lets you go to the dentist, and that doesn't sound like it's too far away, things will seem so much brighter for you.
Wow! Going to Disneyland?! That's great that you have the energy, or just plain love for your family do something like that. I can assure you, I didn't have the get up and go to do anything more than I had to do--I worked (threw-up at work), worked (went to the nurse's station more than once), worked (came home and collapsed), ...I didn't cook for my family (thank goodness I had friends who did that, or husband and daughter would have been eating out--though my daughter did learn to do a litle cooking during that year of treatment) and I couldn't clean (the smells made me sick) so thank goodness my hubby and daughter took over or our house would have looked like a demolition site.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Chemo is just that...a toxin that is put into our bodies to kill another toxin. Keep telling yourself, it will be over soon.
Hang in there. Just imagine all of us gals (and guys) out there somewhere cheering you on...that could be a pretty interesting sight to see.
dmc0 -
Here's a question for you:
Here's a question for you: These past few months,when YOU have seen a tired woman wearing a bandana or a hat, and you see clearer than anyone else that she is a Chemo-Sister~ how do you feel? That she is to be pitied? avoided? That she is a freak and should have stayed home??? Or do you give her "the look" as a Kindred Spirit, or , if you don't get to make eye-contact, somehow send her loving vibes, anyway? Point is, if your tooth had NOT broken and oh sweetie, I am so sorry that it did~ would you be up for going to D'land? If "looking like a freak" is your ONLY reason for not going~ Freaks of the World, UNITE!!! No one will care, hun~ honest they won't! People will either be kindred spirits or ignore you...and at the end of the day~ you had a Disneyland Day with your kids! Honestly, I can't remember the morbidly obese, or the meth addicts, or alcoholics, Richie Cunningham families, or the "normal" ones who were most like me (!!!) when I took my niece to Disneyland. We just enjoyed the day...and that was it! Don't NOT go just because of how you LOOK! The exhaustion is another question! May I assume( always dangerous, I know!) that you won't be the only adult going? So that when you want to just sit, you can, etc etc?
I know how debilitating and humiliating and frustrating all of this is, and I am not by any means saying it isn't. But OMG...I so don't remember being grossed out by anyone who might have had a tooth missing at Disneyland, and chances are, no one will remember you or be grossed out either. If it is good for you and your kids...reconsider. And then tell us how much fun they and you had being there!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
You have a great way with words!chenheart said:Here's a question for you:
Here's a question for you: These past few months,when YOU have seen a tired woman wearing a bandana or a hat, and you see clearer than anyone else that she is a Chemo-Sister~ how do you feel? That she is to be pitied? avoided? That she is a freak and should have stayed home??? Or do you give her "the look" as a Kindred Spirit, or , if you don't get to make eye-contact, somehow send her loving vibes, anyway? Point is, if your tooth had NOT broken and oh sweetie, I am so sorry that it did~ would you be up for going to D'land? If "looking like a freak" is your ONLY reason for not going~ Freaks of the World, UNITE!!! No one will care, hun~ honest they won't! People will either be kindred spirits or ignore you...and at the end of the day~ you had a Disneyland Day with your kids! Honestly, I can't remember the morbidly obese, or the meth addicts, or alcoholics, Richie Cunningham families, or the "normal" ones who were most like me (!!!) when I took my niece to Disneyland. We just enjoyed the day...and that was it! Don't NOT go just because of how you LOOK! The exhaustion is another question! May I assume( always dangerous, I know!) that you won't be the only adult going? So that when you want to just sit, you can, etc etc?
I know how debilitating and humiliating and frustrating all of this is, and I am not by any means saying it isn't. But OMG...I so don't remember being grossed out by anyone who might have had a tooth missing at Disneyland, and chances are, no one will remember you or be grossed out either. If it is good for you and your kids...reconsider. And then tell us how much fun they and you had being there!
Hugs,
Claudia
Wow Claudia. What you wrote was so perfect! I never thought of it like that myself.
And, I totally agree with her. Go enjoy the time and don't worry about what others think. Who cares? I hope that you go!
♠♣ Susie ♠♣0 -
So sorry that
all of this is happening to you.I'm sure it seems like one thing right after another. But I feel the same way as Claudia-if you have the energy to go to Disneyland,go! Don't let the thought of some rude person staring stop you from having a good time with your kids!0 -
I think if you feel like it,outdoorgirl said:So sorry that
all of this is happening to you.I'm sure it seems like one thing right after another. But I feel the same way as Claudia-if you have the energy to go to Disneyland,go! Don't let the thought of some rude person staring stop you from having a good time with your kids!
I think if you feel like it, you should go too. You probably notice it more than anyone else.
If you go, have a great time!0 -
So sorry Surf! I do hopesurvivorbc09 said:I think if you feel like it,
I think if you feel like it, you should go too. You probably notice it more than anyone else.
If you go, have a great time!
So sorry Surf! I do hope you think about it and go!
♥ Kylez ♥0 -
Tooths can be fixed
Feelings are a little tougher to deal with. You have been dealing with each effect one at a time as they come and now this is like the straw that broke the camels back and made it all seem so overwhelming. Maybe, if your up to it and feel strong enough, a trip to disneyland may be just what you need.
Oh to travel through life with a childs perspective.....most children that get to go to Disney Land through the Make A Wish Foundation are so thrilled to have their wish granted that they could care less if the whole world is starring at them. They get to live life!!
I think I will adopt their attitude.
I'll bet your kids are not putting conditions on your looks in making memories with them. They love you just the way you are or are not at any given time. Surf, be kind to yourself! Do what you want to do and the rest will always work out.
♥ Pammy0 -
☺Akiss4me said:Tooths can be fixed
Feelings are a little tougher to deal with. You have been dealing with each effect one at a time as they come and now this is like the straw that broke the camels back and made it all seem so overwhelming. Maybe, if your up to it and feel strong enough, a trip to disneyland may be just what you need.
Oh to travel through life with a childs perspective.....most children that get to go to Disney Land through the Make A Wish Foundation are so thrilled to have their wish granted that they could care less if the whole world is starring at them. They get to live life!!
I think I will adopt their attitude.
I'll bet your kids are not putting conditions on your looks in making memories with them. They love you just the way you are or are not at any given time. Surf, be kind to yourself! Do what you want to do and the rest will always work out.
♥ Pammy
I hope you are planning your trip to Disney with your kids! Praying for you!
Hugs, Diane ♥0 -
face mask
I did not have teeth problems during chemo but I feel for you. I dream about my teeth alot. Another person posted about wearing a face mask to a softball game because she was on chemo. Could you do that and everyone will assume it's for the flu/chemo. No one will know. You can still go to Disneyland if you feel like it.0 -
That is a great idea Marcia.Marcia527 said:face mask
I did not have teeth problems during chemo but I feel for you. I dream about my teeth alot. Another person posted about wearing a face mask to a softball game because she was on chemo. Could you do that and everyone will assume it's for the flu/chemo. No one will know. You can still go to Disneyland if you feel like it.
That is a great idea Marcia. I have seen patients on chemo with face masks and never thought a thing of it. Hope your spirits are higher today Surf!
Hugs,
Leeza0 -
Goodbye rotten attitudejnl said:That is a great idea Marcia.
That is a great idea Marcia. I have seen patients on chemo with face masks and never thought a thing of it. Hope your spirits are higher today Surf!
Hugs,
Leeza
Thank you all for your positive words of encouragement and love. Today I went in for my herceptin infusion and had my counts taken. I barely made the safe side for the white blood cell count, but the good news is I can go to the dentist. I've never been so overjoyed about going to the dentist in my life. I have my appointment tomorrow at 12:30 P.M. YIPPIE. So if all goes right I will take your sisterly advice and go to Disneyland on Sunday with my kids. I will probably rent a wheel chair and have my fifteen year old be my chauffer (sp) for the day. Thank you so much just reading your replies made me cry, I also realized that I am so loved. Thanks again Love to all Surf0 -
Okay coming in late here...1surfermom said:Goodbye rotten attitude
Thank you all for your positive words of encouragement and love. Today I went in for my herceptin infusion and had my counts taken. I barely made the safe side for the white blood cell count, but the good news is I can go to the dentist. I've never been so overjoyed about going to the dentist in my life. I have my appointment tomorrow at 12:30 P.M. YIPPIE. So if all goes right I will take your sisterly advice and go to Disneyland on Sunday with my kids. I will probably rent a wheel chair and have my fifteen year old be my chauffer (sp) for the day. Thank you so much just reading your replies made me cry, I also realized that I am so loved. Thanks again Love to all Surf
Okay coming in late here... again... but you are right Surf... you are loved... and there is an upside to the wheel chair on Sunday.. you get to move to the front of the line and the kids do too! Have a blast.. but don't wear yourself out!
♥ & Hugs,
~T0 -
It is 100% true about those1surfermom said:Goodbye rotten attitude
Thank you all for your positive words of encouragement and love. Today I went in for my herceptin infusion and had my counts taken. I barely made the safe side for the white blood cell count, but the good news is I can go to the dentist. I've never been so overjoyed about going to the dentist in my life. I have my appointment tomorrow at 12:30 P.M. YIPPIE. So if all goes right I will take your sisterly advice and go to Disneyland on Sunday with my kids. I will probably rent a wheel chair and have my fifteen year old be my chauffer (sp) for the day. Thank you so much just reading your replies made me cry, I also realized that I am so loved. Thanks again Love to all Surf
It is 100% true about those in wheelchairs going straight to the front of the line! My father in law was in a chair, and more often than not, you actually get to in the exit line...and of course, with you going to The Happiest Place on Earth...well they are well versed in being kind to the visitors! Have a BLAST!!!!!
Oh yeah, you are correct...we do love you! LOL
Chen♥0
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