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I HATE CHEMO

ninetoes's picture
ninetoes
Posts: 81
Joined: Jun 2009

Almost done with my 1st round of Chemo and it sucks. I know there are many other people here that have it much worse. I guess I just want to complain. I have had nausea for 2 days in a row, can't drink anything cold. I get my pack disconnected today at 4:30, I hope it gets better. I wish I had my Mom's strength, she passed away almost a year ago from A.L.S.(Lou Gehrigs Disease). She had it for 5 years and I never heard her complain.

Anyway, I don't know how all of you have made through 12 rounds of this. It's a long way to November, I hope I make it.

Dave

glinka65
Posts: 132
Joined: Feb 2009

hang in there dave!!!! im on # 7, i know it sucks but you will get through it!!!!!!

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

Don't let it beat you! Just think of this chemo as it heals you, it's very hard, I know, chemo wasn't designed to be fun, but it also kills the cancer, just think of the positive sides of it Dave.

Once you get unhooked, which I always look forward too, you may just feel abit wiped out, I'm usually in bed watching T.V. or reading, and then after a few days, you'll feel yourself bouncing back and getting some energy back. Do rest when your body tells you, and try not to do too much. Watch the germs, and wash hands as much as possible, since your immune system has taken a kick in the gut! but you will bounce back, it will get harder before it gets better, but to think of it getting better is what gets me through.

I go for my 6th next week, I'll be halfway there on the Folfiri, and it does get harder. My poor hair is taking a beating, but I come to accept it, and had someone from the ACS call me about wigs and scarves, so maybe I'll go shopping for those today, to uplift me!

My mom died of leukemia when I was 16, she was only 40, and back in 1981, they didn't have bone marrow transplants or other things to help her, so she died just 19 days after her dx, but we come a long way since then. I have lasted the longest out of all my family who has had cancer so far, knock on wood! we're going to get through this Dave!

Hugssss!
~Donna

JR's picture
JR
Posts: 140
Joined: May 2009

Dave,
You will make it. They should have given you some anti nausea meds to take home. Thake them, they will help. Be strong.

John

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6612
Joined: Feb 2009

Dave: I'm sorry you're not doing well. Your doctor should have given you something for the nausea. I get an infusion for nausea before each chemo and haven't had any problem yet, plus she gave me some compozine (sp?) for home if I needed it.

It is a relief to get the fanny pack disconnected. Just to know that you aren't having that chemo going into you constantly is a relief and also it doesn't get in your way all the time.

Hope you get to feeling better soon. Tell your nurse that you are sick. They should be able to help you.

Kim

tiny one
Posts: 467
Joined: Jan 2009

Make sure you let them know if you're not feeling well. They have meds to help you, but you want to start taking those meds right away don't wait. I learned this the hard way. Anti nausea meds and pain meds make it so much easier. Hopefully you'll be able to drink cold drinks after a few days. Nausea meds and a small piece of spearment gum in my mouth helped me with the queasiness. Complain away chemo is not easy.

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

....some good ole maryjane will help you out with that nausea, just hit it a couple times, I swear it works, and it's cheap, and...I'll be quiet about it now LOL

Hugsss!
~Donna

ninetoes's picture
ninetoes
Posts: 81
Joined: Jun 2009

Thanks everyone, I know I need to push forward. Donna, that's a good idea!

Dave

lmliess's picture
lmliess
Posts: 331
Joined: Dec 2008

I just started Tuesday and Tuesday night I felt like I was wiped out. Headache and achy. Then Wednesday I was okay until late in the day the stomach cramps, then yesterday sick to my stomach and tired! I feel like a wimp because I am whiny about this and there are so many tough people out there.
What bothered me the most yesterday was a WALMART commercial!!! There was a mom running through the sprinkler with her kids. I am home from work for a couple of more weeks and I wnat to do fun things with my 5 year old and I don't see that as an option right now. Therefore I feel like a bad mom because I can't do all those fun things right now. But I guess that is what I am fighting for. To beat this cancer and rid it from my body!

Just venting.......
Linda

mykidsmommy's picture
mykidsmommy
Posts: 78
Joined: Apr 2007

I read your comment about wanting to run through the sprinklers, and I am here to tell you - YOU WILL! I am a mommy and two summers ago, I was going through my 12 rounds - I would hear my kids playing in the yard, laughing goofing of with my husband, and I wanted nothing more than to speed up that time so I could return to normal and be right out there with them. They were 8 and 3 at the time, and it the side effects were nothing compared to wanting to be mommy again for them. But you said it: this is what your working for right now, to fight and heal so you can get back to them on the way you were , and I am sitting here blessed to tell you that it works. I am two years out from chemo, and it is a distant memory for my kids, not for me, but for them a mere blip on the screen of life. Don't let the guilt get to you - rest and pray and get through - and give yourself some slack, to be sick. I will tell you , to this day, you will never find me relaxing on my bed - I sleep in in - and that's it - I even painted my room - all new - just needed a fresh look after many hours spent in there!
Dave - I wish I could give you some magic idea or remedy to make it better so go by faster - but I can't just to tell you both that it will end, and you will have your lives back - and you will enjoy every non-chemo filled day - some more than others, but you will get there. I did make-up one trick, that I didn't know was a trick... I would tell myself that I was going to "quit" chemo early - as in not to all 12 rounds - others around me humored me, and let me believe that supported that potential, but then the week would come, and I would go - and I would get another one under my belt - and by kidding myself that I had 12 OPTIONAL rounds, I did them all. Only the last one did I put up a pretty good fight - protesting going in for the finale round - but that is when my husband pulled out the big guns and said he would drag me in - and my fiends said they would hire a stripper while I was in - I had to go for 48 hours sleep away camp-chemo. All the chemo drugs messed with my mind as well asmy body so I did freak out and consider flunking out - but whatever it takes to get you through. You too will see the end - and your children and friends and family will thank you for it!
Hang in there - tomorrow is another day - to fight and heal.

VickiCO's picture
VickiCO
Posts: 934
Joined: Oct 2008

Dave, I know how you must feel. Yesterday I was declared NED, but on the 15th I still have chemo to get through "just in case". I so want to say "NO, Enough already" but I know I won't do that. 5FU seems to hit me hard, but I will fight it and get through the last week.Heck, I made it through 6 weeks of excruciating radiation and a fanny pack, I can do this!

Many hugs, Vicki

kmygil
Posts: 881
Joined: Feb 2007

Hi Dave,

Congratulations on getting the first one down. You are going to do it! Nausea is a demon, though, and if one med doesn't work, keep trying them all until you find one that does. Yes, the cold thing is also very uncomfortable--room temperature or hot can get very old very quick. BUT! You are in the process of kicking cancer's butt!! I know it is not particularly pleasant, but you must remember to STAY HYDRATED and keep up with your nourishment. That is one reason, apart from feeling like *&(* that you need to get your nausea under control. Talk to your doc. A lot of the time you can get samples to see what works for you. Also, when you are dehydrated and/or malnourished, you feel nauseated and it has nothing to do with the chemo. So hang in there, and complain when you want to . We've all been there!

Hugs,
Kirsten

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

...Aside from the maryjane, keeping some Premium Saltine crackers nearby helps as well, those crackers really help with my queasiness as well :)

bdee
Posts: 305
Joined: Feb 2009

Dave,

I know how you feel. I'm going to my 11th treatment on Tuesday and MY DOCTOR won't tell me when I will stop. So if you have a time line, look forward to when you can stop. I don't have that to look forward to. I don't know if you are on oxiplatin (sp) or not, but the longer you take oxi, the longer it takes to be able to drink or touch the cold. After my 8th treatment, I was ready to tell the doctor "let the cancer kill me, I'll live longer without the chemo", because I hadn't eaten anything solid in five weeks at this time. But my doctor listened, cut off the oxi, cut down the 5FU and kept me on Avastin and I have been ABLE TO EAT!!! this week. You don't know how good this feels after 3 months of smoothies, soups and Ensure. If you can't eat, drink Ensure. You need the nutrients it provides and Boost even has a protein Boost, but I couldn't drink it because it has soy in it.
Keep trying new nausea drugs. I had to take three different kinds at one time to get rid of my nausea after my 8th treatment.
Just hang in there Dave and don't give up like I almost did.

Debbie

Vickil
Posts: 9
Joined: Jul 2008

Dave, you can do it, I just finished 11 months of Chemo. That would be 33 times Chemo posion was poured into my body. I won the battle. May 27 2009, Thanks to God and all the wonderful people here. God be with you and you are in my prayer. Stay positive Vicki

usakat's picture
usakat
Posts: 625
Joined: Jul 2006

Hello Dave!

Yeah, chemo is a great big drag - it can totally suck the joy out of life if you let it. Just remember that it is for your own good - sort of like swallowing that icky cough medicine you had to take when you were a kid.

After my first round of chemo, which was a hurl-fest (I puked for five days after each round), I realized I never felt sick until that dreaded chemo. I called myself the vomit comet - I visualized the cancer was vacating my body in my projectile vomit. It worked - I have been cancer free since I finished chemo in January 2007. And you probably will be too when you finish yours.

Keep your chin up - you can do it!

Whoop, whoop, whooop!

ninetoes's picture
ninetoes
Posts: 81
Joined: Jun 2009

Thanks everyone, I think each day about stopping the Chemo. I still don't know what I'm going to do. It helps to have all of you here.

Thanks
Dave

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

Your not stoppin' nuthin' young man...hang in there and puke,spit,gag,whatever it takes. Then when its over you find a feeling of fullfillness that you have overcome a tremendous obstacle and came out on top....Now run out in the yard and puke and then tell the Onc that you need some "Emend".....Bring on the big guns Doc.....it will be over before ya know it..Gonna check on ya everyday til your done.....turn on the tv and lounge around for a while and walk out in the sunshine whenever ya can, that always made me feel great...Post Op chemo is just a sickening situation but a necessary evil....This is the hardest part of the whole journey, but the most important...get sick, throw up, then move on.....I will keep up with your journey and there will be no quitters in our group.....now buck up private, hup two three four........OK enough of the silly stuff....keep the chin up and move forward :)

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Dave,

Don't stop the chemo! It's really lousy, but just remind yourself that the lousy things that the chemo is doing the rest of your body is to keep that cancer from growing and/or coming back again! You wouldn't want to have it come back and wonder "would I be in this boat right now, if I had just finished out the chemo?" Do all you can to kick it away! Although it may seem like an eternity, it will be just temporary to help ensure that you can live your life normally in the future! Keep venting here if you need to, but don't give up!!!

Hugs,
Lisa

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4911
Joined: May 2005

in soft places...
Hang in there, we're all pulling for you.
-phil

bigCrandy
Posts: 75
Joined: Sep 2008

Hey Dave, I'm sorry the chemo is causing problems, that's what chemo does, especially the first round. I just finished my 3rd round last Friday. I've had 30 treatments in the last 2 years since surgery. The onc said even if the cancer is gone, I'll still need to do maintenance chemo, Avastin every 2 weeks for several years. The first round was horrible, almost didn't make it.(Folfox) The second round got better mostly due to improved health and replacing oxyliplatin with irinotecan plus Avastin(Folfiri). Third round was only for 3 months using Avastin and 5f-u. It gets better mainly due to getting used to it and making adjustments to diet, rest, etc. Hang in there and never give up! Take care, Randy

shoppergal
Posts: 118
Joined: Mar 2009

I don't think I've ever heard anyone say they didn't hate chemo, and if they have said it they are lying thru their teeth!!!! LOL

After my first round I told my onc if that was what I was going to feel like, she should just shoot me right then and there. I never thought I would make it, I had every side effect possible, plus I became allergic to it and had to have steroids. But I did it, and so will you. I won't lie and say it gets better because it doesn't, but when you are finished and you can say you're NED, it's the best feeling.Plus you can feel so proud of yourself.

When you're doing chemo, just keep thinking of that little pac-man eating away at the cancer. Like everyone has said, stay hydrated, rest when you feel you have too, and keep thinking positive. Good luck, I know you can do it.

Wendy

ninetoes's picture
ninetoes
Posts: 81
Joined: Jun 2009

Thanks everyone. I'm going to talk to my onc and see what she can do. Maybe change my Anti-nausea meds or the chemo.

Thanks, it's good to know you guys are here.

Dave

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4911
Joined: May 2005

The old ancient herbal remedy for nausea by any chance. There was a big post about it the other day. I do not know if you live in a state where medicinal marijuana is available but it really helps many people. Just a thought.
-phil
duh? I saw it was mentioned earlier.
Not only does it work, it's kind of fun ;-)

eric38's picture
eric38
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

I don`t know what everyone is talking about. I love chemo and look forward to every treatment. I jump for joy on the days I get infused and am so enthusiastic about leaving with the fanny pack that encases the toxic little buddy that will be coursing through my veins for two days. Most of all I enjoy the rash and acne from the erbitux i`m taking. I am so disappointed on the 2 days before my chemo when I almost feel normal. What a let down. I don`t understand why all of you are so down on chemo. I would do it even if I didn`t have cancer. What a kick! NOT!!!!!!!

I definitely sympathize along with everybody else. I say try anything that helps.

Your fellow cancer fighting soldier,
Eric

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6612
Joined: Feb 2009

You are too funny. Don't you really wish that we could all take that attitude when it comes to getting our treatments? That would be one heck of a person.

Thanks for the great possibility that I might be one of those persons soon :)

Kim

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

...You actually almost had me believing you, I was thinking "wow, he's a rare one" LOL...

Kim, don't say "might" say "I WILL BE ONE OF THOSE"...I keep trying to tell myself that as well, before I start thinking bad thoughts again lol..I have to stop that!

Hugsss!
~Donna

eric38's picture
eric38
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

We all know chemo and cancer sucks but sometimes you just gotta joke about it.

Eric

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

...one of those who have a warped and sense of humor as well~ I make jokes about it to show my kids this can be done, and try not to act scared of it, but I will always laugh!

When I first got my dx, I was in the hospital for 5 days getting the procedueres, scans and tests done, and since I'm anemic, my iron was VERY low, so the 2 nurses came in to give me 2 units of blood for my blood transfusions, and they don't tell you anything about the donors, which is cool, but for a laugh I told the nurses "I was half-Italian, half-Irish, wish I Knew what the added blood's heritage was so I could tell people I'm more now, with the special blood" and said on the 2nd blood transfusion during my 2 hospitalization if they "made sure the blood was Italian" just to get a look on their faces when they thought I was going to be difficult, and only wanted Italian blood!!!....you had to see the look on those nurses faces, I scared the life out of them, but then I just busted laughing, and then when they saw I was kidding, they just cracked up laughing and mocking me, we had a blast...

It's what gets through the day, not only when I smile or laugh, but when I could put a smile or even a smirk on someone else!

Hugsss to you and keep bringing the cheer!
~Donna

eric38's picture
eric38
Posts: 588
Joined: May 2009

I named my original tumor Buttercup and have been on a web site where you can customize your own hats and tshirts. I am using it to make tshirts with amusing quips about cancer. On some of my chemo days I wear a shirt that says Cancer? whatever......
I`ve gotten several comments from the nurses about it and my oncologist said he wanted a tshirt like mine.

Eric

p.s.
Donna - Good luck with the italian blood thing. It`s hot and may boil at any minute.

Madelyn67's picture
Madelyn67
Posts: 8
Joined: Jun 2009

I'm new here, but I was lurking around for a bit and I thought I would put my 2 cents in. LOL

I just had my 8th FOLFOX treatment last Thurday and it totally knocked me out! I slept for hours, every day until yesterday. I finally felt decent enough to go to the store today and they say as you go through more treatments the worse the fatigue gets. ICK!! It seems that after the steriods they give me during the infusion wears off, that's when I get drained.

I'm not sure if anyone covered this but I have a prescription for NEURONTIN 300mg (there is a generic brand also) and it TOTALLY helps with the side effects of eating and drinking cold foods. It helps with the tingling in the hands, but I think it works quicker with the eating and drinking. I found using a heating pad for about 2 minutes on my hands helps with the tingling/stinging problem.

I live in PA where there is no medical MJ, but they are trying to pass a bill to make the medical MJ legal, unfortunately that probably won't happen until AFTER I'm done with chemo and radiation, which doesn't help me now. DAMN THOSE POLITICIANS!!! Sometimes I wish I could go to the local PD and say "hey guys I know you got some good confiscated MJ, how about sharing for a good cause?" LOL

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