could somebody share with me I need it
Comments
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Hi pj, I will keep you in my prayers
Hi pj, I will keep you in my prayers. I know this is a very difficult time for you right now. I remember how overwhelmed and anxious I was during that whole time with surgery, chemo and radiation. Chemo especially scared me and turned out to be pretty difficult but definitely not as bad as I had imagined.
I know that you are full of worry and uncertainty but, you have some good news. Of all your lymphnodes, only one had cancer. That is good. You have to keep trying to think positive and remember that the mind is very strong. I believe it has great influence over the body. Hang in there, the rest of your treatment won't be as bad as you think.
I also had trouble sleeping. Still do. I slept like a log before having cancer but have had trouble ever since and its been over 2 years. I found that listening to relaxation CDs before bed helped me alot. I often would fall asleep before the CD was done. But I would often wake up during the night and not fall back asleep. So I asked my doctor for a prescrip. for ambien and that helped a lot. Also now I take valium for sleep occassionally when I can't sleep and that works even better. You need your sleep to get through your treatment and get your strength back.
I will be thinking of you and I just know that you will be ok. God is good. E-mail me and visit the chat room here on this site. Its a life saver filled with many wonderful people.
Hugs, Eileen0 -
Praying here for you!
It is hard enough to go through surgery once and harder still to have to go back for more! The surgeon told me that re-excision to get clean margins is fairly common. The problem is that they just can't see exactly which cells are cancer cells and which are normal when they are operating. The central tumor may be obvious, but the margins may be mixed and impossible to discern until the pathologist looks at the tissue under a microscope. Even one or two nasty cells at the margin suggest that the surgeon doesn't have clean margins and may have missed something, so they go back in and clean up. It doesn't mean your cancer is any worse. The prognosis is MUCH better when they get clean margins, so know that they are taking good care of you!
It is also taking care of you to do chemo when the tumor looks like the one you are describing. Many of the survivors have been through chemo and they will be glad to share their advice with you. It may not be fun, but it is doable for most people. They have lots of tips on how to make it more bearable. A nurse told me to consider cancer treatment a little like being pregnant with a baby. The new person at the end of the 7 to 9 months of labor will be a new cancer-free you! At the time I was newly diagnosed, unable to sleep, crying all the time, and petrified of all the cancer treatments. Perhaps you can relate! As my battle progressed, it turned out that chemo was not recommended for me. But getting a battle plan with doctors I trusted helped a lot and I still had to have treatment. I was hormone positive with stage 1 breast cancer. That took surgery (and then more surgery) and tamoxifen, which has been followed by an aromatase inhibitor. (Before you wish you could change places with me, you might want to know I am also a lung cancer survivor... we all have our battles to fight!) They will be able to use tamoxifen or the other one depending on menapausal (sp?) status to protect you from reoccurance once you are finished with chemo.
Sleeping soundly is a BIG problem for most new survivors. I thought I was doing great if I only woke up once or twice a night those first few months, especially if I went back to sleep after only an hour of tossing and turning each time! Needless to say I was zonked from stress and lack of sleep. The more stress, the less sleep. The less sleep, the more things stressed me. It was an ugly circle with no easy way out. Still, avoiding drinks of any sort before bedtime, limiting caffine intake throughout the day, exercising at least 45 minutes a day (especially walking outside), and reading something uplifting right before bedtime rather than the latest scary cancer story seemed to help. I upped my intake of whole grains since carbs are helpful in calming folks down. Lowfat milk works for me, though not right before bed since that woke me up an hour or two later. Getting a plan of action with the oncologist helped more than the diet. Realizing my fears were fairly normal helped too. Support groups with arms right here in my community helped me sleep too. It was especially helpful to talk to long-term survivors. I did not have an internet support group until my second time around (the lung cancer diagnosis 2 years ago), but this site is doing the job now. I still wake up once a night, but I think that is more age than worries and I get back to sleep right away these days. So it gets better as things get more settled. If the lack of sleep or stress is interferring with your quality of life, don't be afraid to talk to the doctor about medical intervention. Many cancer survivors are on meds for stress, sleeplessness, and depression. Life is far too precious to waste time being unnecessarily miserable when there is something you can do about it. If exercise, diet, and talking to others isn't doing the trick, talk to your doctor. I'm thinking of you.
C. Abbott0 -
Thanks......cabbott said:Praying here for you!
It is hard enough to go through surgery once and harder still to have to go back for more! The surgeon told me that re-excision to get clean margins is fairly common. The problem is that they just can't see exactly which cells are cancer cells and which are normal when they are operating. The central tumor may be obvious, but the margins may be mixed and impossible to discern until the pathologist looks at the tissue under a microscope. Even one or two nasty cells at the margin suggest that the surgeon doesn't have clean margins and may have missed something, so they go back in and clean up. It doesn't mean your cancer is any worse. The prognosis is MUCH better when they get clean margins, so know that they are taking good care of you!
It is also taking care of you to do chemo when the tumor looks like the one you are describing. Many of the survivors have been through chemo and they will be glad to share their advice with you. It may not be fun, but it is doable for most people. They have lots of tips on how to make it more bearable. A nurse told me to consider cancer treatment a little like being pregnant with a baby. The new person at the end of the 7 to 9 months of labor will be a new cancer-free you! At the time I was newly diagnosed, unable to sleep, crying all the time, and petrified of all the cancer treatments. Perhaps you can relate! As my battle progressed, it turned out that chemo was not recommended for me. But getting a battle plan with doctors I trusted helped a lot and I still had to have treatment. I was hormone positive with stage 1 breast cancer. That took surgery (and then more surgery) and tamoxifen, which has been followed by an aromatase inhibitor. (Before you wish you could change places with me, you might want to know I am also a lung cancer survivor... we all have our battles to fight!) They will be able to use tamoxifen or the other one depending on menapausal (sp?) status to protect you from reoccurance once you are finished with chemo.
Sleeping soundly is a BIG problem for most new survivors. I thought I was doing great if I only woke up once or twice a night those first few months, especially if I went back to sleep after only an hour of tossing and turning each time! Needless to say I was zonked from stress and lack of sleep. The more stress, the less sleep. The less sleep, the more things stressed me. It was an ugly circle with no easy way out. Still, avoiding drinks of any sort before bedtime, limiting caffine intake throughout the day, exercising at least 45 minutes a day (especially walking outside), and reading something uplifting right before bedtime rather than the latest scary cancer story seemed to help. I upped my intake of whole grains since carbs are helpful in calming folks down. Lowfat milk works for me, though not right before bed since that woke me up an hour or two later. Getting a plan of action with the oncologist helped more than the diet. Realizing my fears were fairly normal helped too. Support groups with arms right here in my community helped me sleep too. It was especially helpful to talk to long-term survivors. I did not have an internet support group until my second time around (the lung cancer diagnosis 2 years ago), but this site is doing the job now. I still wake up once a night, but I think that is more age than worries and I get back to sleep right away these days. So it gets better as things get more settled. If the lack of sleep or stress is interferring with your quality of life, don't be afraid to talk to the doctor about medical intervention. Many cancer survivors are on meds for stress, sleeplessness, and depression. Life is far too precious to waste time being unnecessarily miserable when there is something you can do about it. If exercise, diet, and talking to others isn't doing the trick, talk to your doctor. I'm thinking of you.
C. Abbott
My doctor told me if my margins weren't clean this time...that after I heal up some from this 2nd go round, that I should think about getting the whole breast out after chemo is finished...Gee, I just don't know what to think about that.And no I have not gone through any kind of menapause yet.I'm 43 years old...and every since my 1st surgery I have felt like a child instead of an adult,I feel like I just want to curl-up into a warm cocoon, If that makes any sense.These past few days since I finally made a decision on an oncologist and met her for the 1st time...reality has set in even harder as I approach this 2nd surgery and knowing I will start chemo just a few weeks later...after I finally healed up from the 1st surgery so nicely and alot of the swelling gone...and infection gone...now here I go again.I have always been too aware of my body...I've always had good health..thank the Lord....But I am a thinker..A deep thinker....plus I have never trusted anyone much...I like having order in my life it keeps anxieties low...but now I feel I can't remember who I was before the cancer...It's been hard to collect my thoughts lately...I'm use to being strong headed...but now I feel so uncertain of myself...and about whether I can do this and I know I have too.....but there is so much tug-o-war going on inside and I can't seem to make it calm down and come to terms with this.......any advice?And yes I have Ativan and stuff,I just can't seem to stand strong ...and I'm not use to feeling that way-0 -
Where?Eil4186 said:Hi pj, I will keep you in my prayers
Hi pj, I will keep you in my prayers. I know this is a very difficult time for you right now. I remember how overwhelmed and anxious I was during that whole time with surgery, chemo and radiation. Chemo especially scared me and turned out to be pretty difficult but definitely not as bad as I had imagined.
I know that you are full of worry and uncertainty but, you have some good news. Of all your lymphnodes, only one had cancer. That is good. You have to keep trying to think positive and remember that the mind is very strong. I believe it has great influence over the body. Hang in there, the rest of your treatment won't be as bad as you think.
I also had trouble sleeping. Still do. I slept like a log before having cancer but have had trouble ever since and its been over 2 years. I found that listening to relaxation CDs before bed helped me alot. I often would fall asleep before the CD was done. But I would often wake up during the night and not fall back asleep. So I asked my doctor for a prescrip. for ambien and that helped a lot. Also now I take valium for sleep occassionally when I can't sleep and that works even better. You need your sleep to get through your treatment and get your strength back.
I will be thinking of you and I just know that you will be ok. God is good. E-mail me and visit the chat room here on this site. Its a life saver filled with many wonderful people.
Hugs, Eileen
Your cat is beautiful....I have 2 they are real old, but there my kids, because I don't have any real children, but anyway......Where is the chat room locatedI can't seem to find it? And as for sleep, I've tried alot of the sleep aides and they won't work long for me or I still wake-up in the night.I'm getting mentally..worn down from this late night cycle..and such a few hours sleep...I have really built up a tolerance to alot of things...and it's like I can't relax my mind......and when I feel like sleep may come ...something in me feels like it is just fighting it like crazy....man'I feel like a real wimp...I don't know what to think about that...but I sure don't feel so secure...or like I can do this....I pray....read....talk to a bit...I've medicated some.....and my mind is like"You Can't Fool Me"....it all sounds pretty crazy huh?0 -
Order in my life...praiseJesus said:Thanks......
My doctor told me if my margins weren't clean this time...that after I heal up some from this 2nd go round, that I should think about getting the whole breast out after chemo is finished...Gee, I just don't know what to think about that.And no I have not gone through any kind of menapause yet.I'm 43 years old...and every since my 1st surgery I have felt like a child instead of an adult,I feel like I just want to curl-up into a warm cocoon, If that makes any sense.These past few days since I finally made a decision on an oncologist and met her for the 1st time...reality has set in even harder as I approach this 2nd surgery and knowing I will start chemo just a few weeks later...after I finally healed up from the 1st surgery so nicely and alot of the swelling gone...and infection gone...now here I go again.I have always been too aware of my body...I've always had good health..thank the Lord....But I am a thinker..A deep thinker....plus I have never trusted anyone much...I like having order in my life it keeps anxieties low...but now I feel I can't remember who I was before the cancer...It's been hard to collect my thoughts lately...I'm use to being strong headed...but now I feel so uncertain of myself...and about whether I can do this and I know I have too.....but there is so much tug-o-war going on inside and I can't seem to make it calm down and come to terms with this.......any advice?And yes I have Ativan and stuff,I just can't seem to stand strong ...and I'm not use to feeling that way-
Oh wow! I was a person who HAD to have order in my life! I had lists, and notes, and plans....several months down the road. I had to know what each new day would bring and everything had to happen in an orderly fashion for me. I had to have control over what happened in my life and I had to have a plan for every situation.
Well, that has all gone out the window now, and honestly, I am starting to live my life the way it was (I think) intended to be lived. One day at a time.
I had to learn to take each new day, each new treatment, each new decision...one at a time. It is the only way that I have coped with all of this. If I lump it all together...what I have done, what I still need to do, it becomes overwhelming to me. But it I do it one by one by one, I feel that I can handle just about anything. And that is good, very liberating to be out from under the need to control. It has freed me to enjoy each new day!
I too, have a problem with sleeping. I wake at least 2-3 times a night and am awake for at least a couple of hours each time. Cabbott has some great suggestions and I am going to try some of them! Also, it was suggested to me to try lavender spray on my pillow, as it is calming & relaxing. I believe I will try that too.
Most nights, I don't "feel" anxious when I go to bed, but apparently, somewhere in my mind, I am still spinning with all of this. But I shall continue plugging away at it!
As for whether you can do all of this, of course you can! We have all wondered if we will be able to face whatever comes next, and survive it. We do and we will. As scary and as painful and as unpleasant as some thing are when dealing with this, I simply am NOT ready to lie down and die yet. So, I keep moving forward, and you will too! We are all fighters and we all want to see tomorrow come, no matter what it brings with it.
So best wishes and calming thoughts coming from me to you...
CR0 -
ChatroompraiseJesus said:Where?
Your cat is beautiful....I have 2 they are real old, but there my kids, because I don't have any real children, but anyway......Where is the chat room locatedI can't seem to find it? And as for sleep, I've tried alot of the sleep aides and they won't work long for me or I still wake-up in the night.I'm getting mentally..worn down from this late night cycle..and such a few hours sleep...I have really built up a tolerance to alot of things...and it's like I can't relax my mind......and when I feel like sleep may come ...something in me feels like it is just fighting it like crazy....man'I feel like a real wimp...I don't know what to think about that...but I sure don't feel so secure...or like I can do this....I pray....read....talk to a bit...I've medicated some.....and my mind is like"You Can't Fool Me"....it all sounds pretty crazy huh?
From the Home page here at CSN, under Communicate and Connect, the 3rd option is CHATROOM...click on it, and you should be directed to the room! Sometimes it is abuzz with chatters, and other times just a few, but it is lively and a nice place to hang out.
Sleep? What is that again? I seem to recall sleeping, but it has been so long, that perhaps I am mistaken! It seems that my body clock competely rewired itself, and sleep is a part of my past. Napping inappropriately? oh yeah! I can do that easily! I had to give up going to the movies~ as soon as the lights went down, I would find myself sinking a bit lower in the seat, and close my eyes" just for a minute" and I was gone!!! Just last night I went to a beautiful classical guitar concert ~ and I started to experience the familiar "whip-lash"...the music was so soothing, the crowd hushed, and my eyes started to close. I got home just before midnight, and was up making coffee by 5AM. Such is my life! I do have GRAND energy spurts~ I am up to almost 8 miles every other day in my training for a half marathon, and on the off day I work out at Curves. But I miss almost any TV show that starts at 10PM...I again close my eyes for the commercial, and bye-bye! Thank God for Tivo and re-run season! :-)
The port will make your chemo much easier, and everyone is right~ our imaginations and fears about chemo are much worse than the actual thing! And the RNs are caring, and believe it or not, it gets boring! Just yesterday in chat, someone came in so happy that she had thought to bring her laptop with her, as she was bored during her chemotherapy! Who knew???
Hang in there...you will get through this!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
Lavender SprayCR1954 said:Order in my life...
Oh wow! I was a person who HAD to have order in my life! I had lists, and notes, and plans....several months down the road. I had to know what each new day would bring and everything had to happen in an orderly fashion for me. I had to have control over what happened in my life and I had to have a plan for every situation.
Well, that has all gone out the window now, and honestly, I am starting to live my life the way it was (I think) intended to be lived. One day at a time.
I had to learn to take each new day, each new treatment, each new decision...one at a time. It is the only way that I have coped with all of this. If I lump it all together...what I have done, what I still need to do, it becomes overwhelming to me. But it I do it one by one by one, I feel that I can handle just about anything. And that is good, very liberating to be out from under the need to control. It has freed me to enjoy each new day!
I too, have a problem with sleeping. I wake at least 2-3 times a night and am awake for at least a couple of hours each time. Cabbott has some great suggestions and I am going to try some of them! Also, it was suggested to me to try lavender spray on my pillow, as it is calming & relaxing. I believe I will try that too.
Most nights, I don't "feel" anxious when I go to bed, but apparently, somewhere in my mind, I am still spinning with all of this. But I shall continue plugging away at it!
As for whether you can do all of this, of course you can! We have all wondered if we will be able to face whatever comes next, and survive it. We do and we will. As scary and as painful and as unpleasant as some thing are when dealing with this, I simply am NOT ready to lie down and die yet. So, I keep moving forward, and you will too! We are all fighters and we all want to see tomorrow come, no matter what it brings with it.
So best wishes and calming thoughts coming from me to you...
CR
Claudia,
I love things that smell good and find them calming too. A friend convinced me to buy a lot of oils (lavendar, thyme, and other oils) as complementary therapy. I did some reading (surprise, surprise!) and came across one rather disturbing article. Aromatherapy does work, but it works because these oils can have medical properties. Two boys were diagnosed with gynomastia (big breasts). They were elementary aged and rather embarassed about it, so their mom, who was really into organic stuff, went to see the breast surgeon. He explored their family history and medical background and was sure they were being exposed somehow to too much estrogen or an estrogen-like hormone, but he didn't know where. The mom explained she even made their own soaps to "protect" her boys. They especially liked the lavendar soap, which they used at the sink and in the tub. They even had lavendar bubble baths. Guess what! The article concluded that lavendar oil can have estrogen-like properties. The doctor nixed the lavendar and the boys got better. I still have my collection of oils, but I use them sparingly if at all. Bummer, huh! Calming music might be a safer choice for us estrogen-positive breast cancer folks.0 -
During my treatment I didn'tpraiseJesus said:Thanks......
My doctor told me if my margins weren't clean this time...that after I heal up some from this 2nd go round, that I should think about getting the whole breast out after chemo is finished...Gee, I just don't know what to think about that.And no I have not gone through any kind of menapause yet.I'm 43 years old...and every since my 1st surgery I have felt like a child instead of an adult,I feel like I just want to curl-up into a warm cocoon, If that makes any sense.These past few days since I finally made a decision on an oncologist and met her for the 1st time...reality has set in even harder as I approach this 2nd surgery and knowing I will start chemo just a few weeks later...after I finally healed up from the 1st surgery so nicely and alot of the swelling gone...and infection gone...now here I go again.I have always been too aware of my body...I've always had good health..thank the Lord....But I am a thinker..A deep thinker....plus I have never trusted anyone much...I like having order in my life it keeps anxieties low...but now I feel I can't remember who I was before the cancer...It's been hard to collect my thoughts lately...I'm use to being strong headed...but now I feel so uncertain of myself...and about whether I can do this and I know I have too.....but there is so much tug-o-war going on inside and I can't seem to make it calm down and come to terms with this.......any advice?And yes I have Ativan and stuff,I just can't seem to stand strong ...and I'm not use to feeling that way-
During my treatment I didn't know who I was either but slowly it comes back to you. I'm five years from diagnosis and during those years I'd be doing something and it would remind me of my old self. Continue treatment knowing it will one day be over. That's how I got through.0 -
I know what you mean about your old selfpraiseJesus said:Thanks......
My doctor told me if my margins weren't clean this time...that after I heal up some from this 2nd go round, that I should think about getting the whole breast out after chemo is finished...Gee, I just don't know what to think about that.And no I have not gone through any kind of menapause yet.I'm 43 years old...and every since my 1st surgery I have felt like a child instead of an adult,I feel like I just want to curl-up into a warm cocoon, If that makes any sense.These past few days since I finally made a decision on an oncologist and met her for the 1st time...reality has set in even harder as I approach this 2nd surgery and knowing I will start chemo just a few weeks later...after I finally healed up from the 1st surgery so nicely and alot of the swelling gone...and infection gone...now here I go again.I have always been too aware of my body...I've always had good health..thank the Lord....But I am a thinker..A deep thinker....plus I have never trusted anyone much...I like having order in my life it keeps anxieties low...but now I feel I can't remember who I was before the cancer...It's been hard to collect my thoughts lately...I'm use to being strong headed...but now I feel so uncertain of myself...and about whether I can do this and I know I have too.....but there is so much tug-o-war going on inside and I can't seem to make it calm down and come to terms with this.......any advice?And yes I have Ativan and stuff,I just can't seem to stand strong ...and I'm not use to feeling that way-
I know, it does seem as though everything has changed--even you. I feel the same way. Before the cancer I never woried about death, getting older or disease. I was very healthy, and I slept like a log. But you are right, then the cancer riddles us with fear and we feel as though we are no longer in control.
I often wish that things could go back to how they were before I got breast cancer. We are about the same age. I am 44 years old and was diagnosed when I was 42. As if the horror of having cancer is not enough, chemo usually forces women our age into menopause. The chemo stopped my periods, but my estrogen levels show that I am not menopausal. I know this sounds weird, but I miss having a period. Maybe that is because it was part of the old me.
The turmoil that you are feeling, what many of us feel, is due to cancer coming along and taking away our sense of control, and making us feel that our future is uncertain.
I am a thinker too, and I tend to obsess and worry about things endlessly. Like you I can't sleep well anymore. I guess we have to try to force ourselves to think positively and try and focus on every little good thing in our lives.
Try not to worry too much about the chemo. I was terrified of it, but it was doable. and I wish you would try the relaxation/sleep CDs. I listened to them every night during treatment and for months afterward. I still go back to them now and then.
You must try the chat room here. You can chat with survivors---many of them long term. That helped me a ton when I was really fearful. It still gives me comfort to talk with survivors because it confirms that you can beat cancer. Hugs, Eil0 -
That just figures!!!cabbott said:Lavender Spray
Claudia,
I love things that smell good and find them calming too. A friend convinced me to buy a lot of oils (lavendar, thyme, and other oils) as complementary therapy. I did some reading (surprise, surprise!) and came across one rather disturbing article. Aromatherapy does work, but it works because these oils can have medical properties. Two boys were diagnosed with gynomastia (big breasts). They were elementary aged and rather embarassed about it, so their mom, who was really into organic stuff, went to see the breast surgeon. He explored their family history and medical background and was sure they were being exposed somehow to too much estrogen or an estrogen-like hormone, but he didn't know where. The mom explained she even made their own soaps to "protect" her boys. They especially liked the lavendar soap, which they used at the sink and in the tub. They even had lavendar bubble baths. Guess what! The article concluded that lavendar oil can have estrogen-like properties. The doctor nixed the lavendar and the boys got better. I still have my collection of oils, but I use them sparingly if at all. Bummer, huh! Calming music might be a safer choice for us estrogen-positive breast cancer folks.
Well, if it isn't one thing, it's another, isn't it??? Why did learning about lavendar remind me of the old rhyme "Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly"!? Aside from being in wine country, there are major lavendar farms here! Let's see? What aromatherapy scent will be better for me? I know that lavendar has sleep producing qualities...but now I would have nightmares about estrogen! :-) Is there "old gym-locker-room" smell? Now that would surely knock me out!
Thanks for the tutorial cabbott~ ! I can always count on you to teach us all something! You rock!!!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
OrderCR1954 said:Order in my life...
Oh wow! I was a person who HAD to have order in my life! I had lists, and notes, and plans....several months down the road. I had to know what each new day would bring and everything had to happen in an orderly fashion for me. I had to have control over what happened in my life and I had to have a plan for every situation.
Well, that has all gone out the window now, and honestly, I am starting to live my life the way it was (I think) intended to be lived. One day at a time.
I had to learn to take each new day, each new treatment, each new decision...one at a time. It is the only way that I have coped with all of this. If I lump it all together...what I have done, what I still need to do, it becomes overwhelming to me. But it I do it one by one by one, I feel that I can handle just about anything. And that is good, very liberating to be out from under the need to control. It has freed me to enjoy each new day!
I too, have a problem with sleeping. I wake at least 2-3 times a night and am awake for at least a couple of hours each time. Cabbott has some great suggestions and I am going to try some of them! Also, it was suggested to me to try lavender spray on my pillow, as it is calming & relaxing. I believe I will try that too.
Most nights, I don't "feel" anxious when I go to bed, but apparently, somewhere in my mind, I am still spinning with all of this. But I shall continue plugging away at it!
As for whether you can do all of this, of course you can! We have all wondered if we will be able to face whatever comes next, and survive it. We do and we will. As scary and as painful and as unpleasant as some thing are when dealing with this, I simply am NOT ready to lie down and die yet. So, I keep moving forward, and you will too! We are all fighters and we all want to see tomorrow come, no matter what it brings with it.
So best wishes and calming thoughts coming from me to you...
CR
Wow CR - you expressed what I cannot and right on with all of it.0 -
Thank You All....but...cabbott said:Praying here for you!
It is hard enough to go through surgery once and harder still to have to go back for more! The surgeon told me that re-excision to get clean margins is fairly common. The problem is that they just can't see exactly which cells are cancer cells and which are normal when they are operating. The central tumor may be obvious, but the margins may be mixed and impossible to discern until the pathologist looks at the tissue under a microscope. Even one or two nasty cells at the margin suggest that the surgeon doesn't have clean margins and may have missed something, so they go back in and clean up. It doesn't mean your cancer is any worse. The prognosis is MUCH better when they get clean margins, so know that they are taking good care of you!
It is also taking care of you to do chemo when the tumor looks like the one you are describing. Many of the survivors have been through chemo and they will be glad to share their advice with you. It may not be fun, but it is doable for most people. They have lots of tips on how to make it more bearable. A nurse told me to consider cancer treatment a little like being pregnant with a baby. The new person at the end of the 7 to 9 months of labor will be a new cancer-free you! At the time I was newly diagnosed, unable to sleep, crying all the time, and petrified of all the cancer treatments. Perhaps you can relate! As my battle progressed, it turned out that chemo was not recommended for me. But getting a battle plan with doctors I trusted helped a lot and I still had to have treatment. I was hormone positive with stage 1 breast cancer. That took surgery (and then more surgery) and tamoxifen, which has been followed by an aromatase inhibitor. (Before you wish you could change places with me, you might want to know I am also a lung cancer survivor... we all have our battles to fight!) They will be able to use tamoxifen or the other one depending on menapausal (sp?) status to protect you from reoccurance once you are finished with chemo.
Sleeping soundly is a BIG problem for most new survivors. I thought I was doing great if I only woke up once or twice a night those first few months, especially if I went back to sleep after only an hour of tossing and turning each time! Needless to say I was zonked from stress and lack of sleep. The more stress, the less sleep. The less sleep, the more things stressed me. It was an ugly circle with no easy way out. Still, avoiding drinks of any sort before bedtime, limiting caffine intake throughout the day, exercising at least 45 minutes a day (especially walking outside), and reading something uplifting right before bedtime rather than the latest scary cancer story seemed to help. I upped my intake of whole grains since carbs are helpful in calming folks down. Lowfat milk works for me, though not right before bed since that woke me up an hour or two later. Getting a plan of action with the oncologist helped more than the diet. Realizing my fears were fairly normal helped too. Support groups with arms right here in my community helped me sleep too. It was especially helpful to talk to long-term survivors. I did not have an internet support group until my second time around (the lung cancer diagnosis 2 years ago), but this site is doing the job now. I still wake up once a night, but I think that is more age than worries and I get back to sleep right away these days. So it gets better as things get more settled. If the lack of sleep or stress is interferring with your quality of life, don't be afraid to talk to the doctor about medical intervention. Many cancer survivors are on meds for stress, sleeplessness, and depression. Life is far too precious to waste time being unnecessarily miserable when there is something you can do about it. If exercise, diet, and talking to others isn't doing the trick, talk to your doctor. I'm thinking of you.
C. Abbott
There is so much good in here......Why do I feel in my thoughts and feelings, like I will be bringing myself[Dragging and Kicking,saying"NO,NO,NO] to my 1st treatment?I feel like I am a small child...that kind of Fear....I'm a Certified Nursing Asst.,I miss helping others right now...it always calmed my mind and kept it off myself....I can't even get it through my head that I -have- got -to- do- this, no matter what I do.....or tell myself.I wakeup everyday....and am not sure what to think or feel....Sometimes it's like a Big Tidal Wave is coming and like I can't get away from it....and it is going to consume me...and like there will be nothing I can do.I am overwhelmed.I've tried everything.I'm a sensible person...but I'm having a hard time finding my focus and strength....What do you do????0 -
Hi Praise: You have to takepraiseJesus said:Thank You All....but...
There is so much good in here......Why do I feel in my thoughts and feelings, like I will be bringing myself[Dragging and Kicking,saying"NO,NO,NO] to my 1st treatment?I feel like I am a small child...that kind of Fear....I'm a Certified Nursing Asst.,I miss helping others right now...it always calmed my mind and kept it off myself....I can't even get it through my head that I -have- got -to- do- this, no matter what I do.....or tell myself.I wakeup everyday....and am not sure what to think or feel....Sometimes it's like a Big Tidal Wave is coming and like I can't get away from it....and it is going to consume me...and like there will be nothing I can do.I am overwhelmed.I've tried everything.I'm a sensible person...but I'm having a hard time finding my focus and strength....What do you do????
Hi Praise: You have to take it one step at a time. You have to tell yourself that you will get through it and you will. We've been there and know what the fear and uncertainty of the unknown is like. I'm hoping you are surrounded my supportive family and you also have us here on this board to encourage and advise you. God bless and hugs, Lili0 -
thanksmmontero38 said:Hi Praise: You have to take
Hi Praise: You have to take it one step at a time. You have to tell yourself that you will get through it and you will. We've been there and know what the fear and uncertainty of the unknown is like. I'm hoping you are surrounded my supportive family and you also have us here on this board to encourage and advise you. God bless and hugs, Lili
Yes I have family....friends....God....Pets....prayer....I'm so thankful even though I may not sound like it....sorry......but I can't seem to shake this knawing feeling in my gut and chest....it's getting in the way...and keeps me on the fence.0 -
I am a fan of rewiring ourpraiseJesus said:Thank You All....but...
There is so much good in here......Why do I feel in my thoughts and feelings, like I will be bringing myself[Dragging and Kicking,saying"NO,NO,NO] to my 1st treatment?I feel like I am a small child...that kind of Fear....I'm a Certified Nursing Asst.,I miss helping others right now...it always calmed my mind and kept it off myself....I can't even get it through my head that I -have- got -to- do- this, no matter what I do.....or tell myself.I wakeup everyday....and am not sure what to think or feel....Sometimes it's like a Big Tidal Wave is coming and like I can't get away from it....and it is going to consume me...and like there will be nothing I can do.I am overwhelmed.I've tried everything.I'm a sensible person...but I'm having a hard time finding my focus and strength....What do you do????
I am a fan of rewiring our minds using healing images. It is always best to work with something that already has meaning or substance to you. So, when you feel a tidal wave coming on, think of your self as a firmly rooted (beautiful of course!) Monterey pine on sea cliff. Let the wave come over you, feel the force and the waters, and then wait, be still, and let the wave receed again. Then feel yourself, still standing, drying in the sun that has been there all along while the sea sparkles.
Sometimes, I think, our feelings keep knocking on the door till we let them in. Just ask them in for a while, and politely end the visit when they need to go. Really, we can't hide and it isn't good for us.
All that being said, this is all things that helped me FURTHER down the road from DX. Right after DX there were no words or attitudes or anything that could reach me, and I don't pretend to believe that anything I suggest will help you either. Shoot, we just got to get through it. But, as far as chemo is concerned, please look at that as healing, helping, good riddancing. The best way I know to survive chemo is to chat up the nurses a lot. They have a lot of warmth and advice and cheer to give as soon as they see someone needs it.
There was an elderly man who volunteered at the chemo lounge, bringing people water or coffee. Slowly. But with such complete respect - I am not a Christian, but that image of kindness must be like Jesus and watching this elderly man's kindness bought me a lot more than water.
Best wishes and sunshine, love Joyce0 -
angel beside mepraiseJesus said:Thank You All....but...
There is so much good in here......Why do I feel in my thoughts and feelings, like I will be bringing myself[Dragging and Kicking,saying"NO,NO,NO] to my 1st treatment?I feel like I am a small child...that kind of Fear....I'm a Certified Nursing Asst.,I miss helping others right now...it always calmed my mind and kept it off myself....I can't even get it through my head that I -have- got -to- do- this, no matter what I do.....or tell myself.I wakeup everyday....and am not sure what to think or feel....Sometimes it's like a Big Tidal Wave is coming and like I can't get away from it....and it is going to consume me...and like there will be nothing I can do.I am overwhelmed.I've tried everything.I'm a sensible person...but I'm having a hard time finding my focus and strength....What do you do????
I asked for an angel to stay by my side. That's the only way I had the strength to complete chemo treatment. Each one was hard for me. I had 4 cycles before surgery and 4 after. If the angel hadn't been there with me, I'd have been a mess. As it was I always held my arm out and waited for the needle and looked away and thought about a nice place like a beach or a garden, a safe happy place.0 -
Kick and Scream!!!!!praiseJesus said:Thank You All....but...
There is so much good in here......Why do I feel in my thoughts and feelings, like I will be bringing myself[Dragging and Kicking,saying"NO,NO,NO] to my 1st treatment?I feel like I am a small child...that kind of Fear....I'm a Certified Nursing Asst.,I miss helping others right now...it always calmed my mind and kept it off myself....I can't even get it through my head that I -have- got -to- do- this, no matter what I do.....or tell myself.I wakeup everyday....and am not sure what to think or feel....Sometimes it's like a Big Tidal Wave is coming and like I can't get away from it....and it is going to consume me...and like there will be nothing I can do.I am overwhelmed.I've tried everything.I'm a sensible person...but I'm having a hard time finding my focus and strength....What do you do????
Why do you feel that way??? Because we ALL felt that way!!! Well, perhaps shouldn't speak for the rest of the gang in here...but I felt EXACTLY that way! I walked in with my game face on, with my niece and b/f there to be scared with me and offer moral support. I was upbeat and so brave~ On The Outsude. When I got "settled in" to the chemo room and saw the RN and the DR, my outward anxiety level started to rise. And when the IV went into my hand ( this was before the port) I just lost it. I didn't just cry like a baby, I sobbed. It was all so real, and I had poison being pumped into my system!! This was not at all how I had enbvisoned my life. And yet, there I was. WAS being the operative word.
And pj...that was over 51/2 years ago. We get to have human feelings, we get to be scared, we get to kick and scream, we get to do it all~ including Survive Breast Cancer, its treatment and move on to Superior Life After Cancer! And you will too! And just think how much encouragement YOU will be giving to those who follow you in!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
I also just want to add,
I also just want to add, after all the pep talk stuff I did, what actually helped me was taking an Ativan before chemo. Just let your doctor know you are going to do it ahead of time and arrange for someone else to drive. The ativan took some of the edge off for me. They are available by prescription, but I swear, the onc.'s give 'em out like candy to us BC sisters. I would pop one in the waiting room.
love, Joyce0 -
ativanJoycelouise said:I also just want to add,
I also just want to add, after all the pep talk stuff I did, what actually helped me was taking an Ativan before chemo. Just let your doctor know you are going to do it ahead of time and arrange for someone else to drive. The ativan took some of the edge off for me. They are available by prescription, but I swear, the onc.'s give 'em out like candy to us BC sisters. I would pop one in the waiting room.
love, Joyce
Yes,I take a small amount of ativan now.......can they give you valium instead of ativan...the reason being..I have a seizure disorder as well, I take Dilantin, I keep a certain level of it in my system, I feel once I start treatments that my dilantin level will drop...I thought by taking the valium at chemo time instead of the ativan....that the valium would not only calm me but protect my seizure threshhold when its low...or gone.Do you think they would or could do that for me instead??Thanks ya'll0 -
By all means, ask yourpraiseJesus said:ativan
Yes,I take a small amount of ativan now.......can they give you valium instead of ativan...the reason being..I have a seizure disorder as well, I take Dilantin, I keep a certain level of it in my system, I feel once I start treatments that my dilantin level will drop...I thought by taking the valium at chemo time instead of the ativan....that the valium would not only calm me but protect my seizure threshhold when its low...or gone.Do you think they would or could do that for me instead??Thanks ya'll
By all means, ask your doctor. We need to ask, and ask again if necessary, to find the best alternatives. Sounds like you are well on the way to being an active patient. Love and best wishes for your chemo. May it be easy AND effective! Joyce0
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