Man looking for other men

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Bill.S
Bill.S Member Posts: 177
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
56 yr old man with breast cancer looking for support from other men. Had surgery 5/22/08,started chemo last week. Live in SW Florida and would really love to find a local support group but will be happy to have internet friends too.
Bill.S
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  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #2
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    I just wanted to say God bless you, Bill.
    I am not a man so can not respond to your post except to say I sincerely hope you find the support you seek, and that I admire your spunk for actively seeking help for a situation which must be more than usually awkward for you.
    Prayers for a complete and rapid recovery.
  • Bill.S
    Bill.S Member Posts: 177
    #3
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    unknown said:

    I just wanted to say God bless you, Bill.
    I am not a man so can not respond to your post except to say I sincerely hope you find the support you seek, and that I admire your spunk for actively seeking help for a situation which must be more than usually awkward for you.
    Prayers for a complete and rapid recovery.

    Awkward would be having prostate or testicular cancer. All I lost was my nipple and some tissue and muscle and 6 lymph nodes. Now I have this nice 8" scar on the right and a 3" scar on the left from installing the port.
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #4
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    Bill.S said:

    Awkward would be having prostate or testicular cancer. All I lost was my nipple and some tissue and muscle and 6 lymph nodes. Now I have this nice 8" scar on the right and a 3" scar on the left from installing the port.

    Not to make light of the situation, but I do think laughter is the best medicine. You want to compare scars? I have 2 from 2 Caesarians (about 6in line below bikini line, if I wore one), one from port insertion (3in line upper left shoulder), 2 from double mastectomy (11 in each across appropriate area of chest), and next year will probably add another one across the abdomen from breast reconstruction. Hey, at least we are still here to talk about it, right? You might check with your local ACS to see if they have men in your area, or let your Dr. know you are looking to find or start a support group for men. Maybe your Doc. could make your contact info available to other Docs in the area to pass on to their male patients?

    Hope you find what you are looking for soon, seof
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #5
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    I don't personally know of any men battling the Breast Cancer Beast, but of course, they do exist as you well know! When I was diagnosed in 2003, there was a young woman on this site whos father was just diagnosed with BC. He chose not to come in, but his daughter was quite active in the room. In 2008, he is still alive and well, and thriving!

    Perhaps there is an "embarrassment quotient" as regards breast cancer where men are concerned. We do welcome you to this site~ we of the Traveling Mammogram Brigrade!

    Claudia
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    #6
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    Hey Bill: Don't know of any men battling breast cancer, but welcome aboard to our discussion and chat room. Wishing you well through your battle. I lost my right breast and have done tram flap reconstruction so I now have a scar from hip to hip, a rectangular shaped scar on my right breast and a scar on my left shoulder area from the port. Don't worry about the scars since those are only signs of the war we've battled. Keep positive and keep posting. BTW, what treatment are you on? Hugs, Lili
  • cabbott
    cabbott Member Posts: 1,039 Member
    #7
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    Bill.S said:

    Awkward would be having prostate or testicular cancer. All I lost was my nipple and some tissue and muscle and 6 lymph nodes. Now I have this nice 8" scar on the right and a 3" scar on the left from installing the port.

    I'm not male, but while researching reconstruction issues I read that men tend to need it more that women. After all, we are covered up on the beach and explaining chest scars on vacation is tiresome. Don't be afraid to see the plastic surgeon if your battle wound bothers you! And good luck finding the support you need. It used to be that one our of 100 breast cancer survivors were male. These days I hear that it is more than that. I hope they post here soon and you find the support you need. You might ask your surgeon if he or she knows of other survivors. They can't give you their phone numbers, but they can give your number to others. Good luck!
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #8
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    Hi Bill, I am a girl,so can't respond from your perspective. But, I can relate to the shock, fear, and just plain awfulness that one goes through when fighting breast cancer. I agree that your docs might be a good source for support groups and/or other guys that would be interested. The scars are a bit depressing at first, but I have found that as time passed, they began to represent my hard fought battle against the enemy. Hang in there, the journey will get easier. Good luck Bill, and I hope you find a wonderful support group soon. Eil
  • momruns325
    momruns325 Member Posts: 4
    #9
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    hi bill, just found this website today because i too am a BC survivor. i am female but i do know 2 men who are BC survivors. we all live in NE PA. i will tell my male BC survivor friends to log on to this site. hugs, gmc
  • Bill.S
    Bill.S Member Posts: 177
    #10
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    mmontero38 said:

    Hey Bill: Don't know of any men battling breast cancer, but welcome aboard to our discussion and chat room. Wishing you well through your battle. I lost my right breast and have done tram flap reconstruction so I now have a scar from hip to hip, a rectangular shaped scar on my right breast and a scar on my left shoulder area from the port. Don't worry about the scars since those are only signs of the war we've battled. Keep positive and keep posting. BTW, what treatment are you on? Hugs, Lili

    Thank you all for responding. I guess that if I had been to war I could just call it an old war injury, but that's not the case. I haven't been in a pool or to the beach in years. Reconstruction is not something that I am even considering but I do want one of those special bras. (joke) Thankfully men don't have the sexual/emotional attachment to their breasts that women do ( I've always been more of an **** man myself)but both genders tend to have sexually sensative nipples and I will miss that.
    Keep trying to find me some more men and thanks for welcoming me to this group.
    Bill.S
  • Bill.S
    Bill.S Member Posts: 177
    #11
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    seof said:

    Not to make light of the situation, but I do think laughter is the best medicine. You want to compare scars? I have 2 from 2 Caesarians (about 6in line below bikini line, if I wore one), one from port insertion (3in line upper left shoulder), 2 from double mastectomy (11 in each across appropriate area of chest), and next year will probably add another one across the abdomen from breast reconstruction. Hey, at least we are still here to talk about it, right? You might check with your local ACS to see if they have men in your area, or let your Dr. know you are looking to find or start a support group for men. Maybe your Doc. could make your contact info available to other Docs in the area to pass on to their male patients?

    Hope you find what you are looking for soon, seof

    Yes I agree that laughter is necessary--- so you want to have a pissing contest do you ??? I think you won hands down. Thanks seof.... Local ACS said that in the fall they do groups so talking with surgeon and oncologist is a great idea. I see Onc Monday and Surgeon Tuesday...hope the let me get back to work...it's been 2 months.
  • Bill.S
    Bill.S Member Posts: 177
    #12
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    momruns325 said:

    hi bill, just found this website today because i too am a BC survivor. i am female but i do know 2 men who are BC survivors. we all live in NE PA. i will tell my male BC survivor friends to log on to this site. hugs, gmc

    Thank you and yes please do tell your men friends to contact me. I started life outside Philadelphia so hopefully they will treat me with yankee respect and not as a "good ol boy"---just kidding.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #13
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    Hey Bill, I am not a man, but I think I would pretend to be if you would stick around our board for a while. Not only do I love your sense of humor, I feel like you are doing something really heroic (not sure why, and I am sure you didn't volunteer). Honored to meet you! one nipple, too - Joyce
  • Bill.S
    Bill.S Member Posts: 177
    #14
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    unknown said:

    Hey Bill, I am not a man, but I think I would pretend to be if you would stick around our board for a while. Not only do I love your sense of humor, I feel like you are doing something really heroic (not sure why, and I am sure you didn't volunteer). Honored to meet you! one nipple, too - Joyce

    Hi Joyce, Thanks for your encouragement. I'm not heroic. I'm just a guy with B.C. trying to get through the best I know how.
    I did hook-up with www.CancerHopeNetwork.org and the woman I spoke with on the phone found 2 yes two men to talk to -one in NJ the other in Oregon--- thats not very many men involved but it was GREAT to talk with them on the phone.
    Tomorrow is my 2nd chemo--- my mouth is sore and I'm going to the bathroom more than usual but other than that I'm feeling pretty darn good.....perhaps that's why I still have a sense of hurmor.
  • Bill.S
    Bill.S Member Posts: 177
    #15
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    mmontero38 said:

    Hey Bill: Don't know of any men battling breast cancer, but welcome aboard to our discussion and chat room. Wishing you well through your battle. I lost my right breast and have done tram flap reconstruction so I now have a scar from hip to hip, a rectangular shaped scar on my right breast and a scar on my left shoulder area from the port. Don't worry about the scars since those are only signs of the war we've battled. Keep positive and keep posting. BTW, what treatment are you on? Hugs, Lili

    Treatment ::: last Monday they hung 5 bags-took 4 hours.Aloix for nausea, Decadron (steroid) for ??? ,Benadryl and the chemo drugs Taxotere,Carboplatin, And because I'm HER2,neu positive Herceptin. In the future it's not supposed to be a 4 hour cruise (Gilligan's Island), should be shorter. Herceptin (loading dose) took 90 min.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #16
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    Bill.S said:

    Hi Joyce, Thanks for your encouragement. I'm not heroic. I'm just a guy with B.C. trying to get through the best I know how.
    I did hook-up with www.CancerHopeNetwork.org and the woman I spoke with on the phone found 2 yes two men to talk to -one in NJ the other in Oregon--- thats not very many men involved but it was GREAT to talk with them on the phone.
    Tomorrow is my 2nd chemo--- my mouth is sore and I'm going to the bathroom more than usual but other than that I'm feeling pretty darn good.....perhaps that's why I still have a sense of hurmor.

    Glad to hear that you are finding some men friends. You will always have the sisterhood at your back! love, Joyce
  • Bill.S
    Bill.S Member Posts: 177
    #17
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    unknown said:

    Glad to hear that you are finding some men friends. You will always have the sisterhood at your back! love, Joyce

    Thank GOD for the sisterhood
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #18
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    Hey, seof again, just wanted to say I'm glad you have found a few contacts. Keep up the positive attitude, seof.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #19
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    Bill.S said:

    Treatment ::: last Monday they hung 5 bags-took 4 hours.Aloix for nausea, Decadron (steroid) for ??? ,Benadryl and the chemo drugs Taxotere,Carboplatin, And because I'm HER2,neu positive Herceptin. In the future it's not supposed to be a 4 hour cruise (Gilligan's Island), should be shorter. Herceptin (loading dose) took 90 min.

    Bill, the steroid was probably to boost your immune system against threat of infection or some stray 'bug' out there.
    And those ARE war wounds! If this isn't war I don't know what is!
  • Abe1951
    Abe1951 Member Posts: 2
    #20
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    By the way- my computer had to be rescued from near death so I did a full restore and like a dummy lost all of my passwords so I had to create a new identity here as Abe1951. Abe because I look like him and 1951 is when I was born.
    Bill S 56 yr young MAN with BC
  • monbro520
    monbro520 Member Posts: 3
    #21
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    Male breast cancer
    My husband has been fighting male breast cancer for 4 1/2 years now. Has spread to bones and we are trying to decide what to do next. I am in the chat room most eves. Family and friends are your best support.

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