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My humerous surgery story

MoonDragon's picture
Posts: 194
Joined: Jun 2005

I'm using humor as one of my biggest battle weapons and one of the funniest things that happened was just minutes prior to my surgery. I was on the gurney, the nurse had put the funky cap over my hair, they were going over where the incision would be and making sure I knew exactly what to expect during surgery. The nurse got all done and looked at me closely and said, "I'm sorry, the nose ring has to go. During surgery there's almost a force field around you from all the instruments and light and your nose will actually get burned so you'll need to take that out." I looked at Doug (my wonderful hunny) who had been allowed to go back with me and asked him to take the ring out. I had a hood ring too and I again looked at Doug and we both started to laugh. "Guess that one will have to go to." I'd never taken it out before and I had gotten it prior to him so he didn't know how it worked either. He lifted my gown and attempted to get the ring out. His fingers are big and he couldn't work it out. He kept trying and trying. Pretty soon my doctor showed up and then his attendant. He asked what we were doing and kept a carefully bland face upon receiving my answer. Soon the attending nurses started coming over, assuming since the doctors were there that we were ready to roll..........um not quite yet folks. Meanwhile, Doug is still working over my privates trying to get the ring out. More and more nurses started to come over to see why everyone was gathered around my gurney. I wanted to sink right through the middle of it. Eventually we had 2 doctors and 6 nurses around my gurney and here I am with my privates exposed to all while Doug is madly trying to get the ring out. With the difficulty we were having, one of the nurses was going to find wire cutters when an older nurse in her early 50's and most definately a lesbian walked over and said she had lots of experience with rings and offered to take it out!! Gulp! I didn't know whether to laugh or moan in mortification. I know I turned scarlett. She got the ring off of my privates then offered to put it back on for me after surgery should I decide I wanted to, all I needed to do was call her to my ward and she'd be happy to come. Doug and I both stifled giggles until after she'd left. She definately helped me out of a tight spot and I truly appreciated it more than she'll know but I figure I'll leave it out since that area is going to be radiated anyway!!! :)

kristasplace's picture
Posts: 956
Joined: Oct 2007

That is a pretty funny story. It's strange how much this particular illness can teach us about humility and pride. I still get very nervous about rectal exams and hate them even though i've endured dozens of them, yet i have no problem whatsoever discussing the function of the colon, or the formation of stool in a crowded restaurant! Egads! What has happened to me!!!

MoonDragon's picture
Posts: 194
Joined: Jun 2005

I can so relate! My Bum has been so poked and prodded, discussed and looked at that I'm beginning to feel like it's just another non-covered part of my body like an arm or a leg! Oh wait, you mean most people don't discuss diahrrea remedies at dinner? LOL

kathleenss's picture
Posts: 49
Joined: Nov 2006

Finally! I knew there was a good side to having rectal cancer! MY bum is smooth and orifice-free. Nobody pokes it any more. Do you think my gastroenterologist likes to do my colonoscopies more than others, since I don't have to moon him? He just has to look at my chubby tummy.

Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

LOL! One to remember for sure!

God Bless,


Monicaemilia's picture
Posts: 455
Joined: Nov 2006

Great story. The looks on the doctors and nurses faces while all this was going on must have been priceless. Monica

Limey's picture
Posts: 447
Joined: Mar 2004

Thanks Moon, that was worth a good laugh. I never knew they were called hood rings.
still snickering.

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jams67's picture
Posts: 927
Joined: May 2006

I had to do a search to find hood ring. I had an idea about where it was from your decription, but wasn't sure. My husband plays golf with a guy who is looking for a tenth anniversary gift for his wife and since the 10th is suppose to be steel, I suggested a hood ring. I've learned so much on this website!
Jo Ann

Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

Jo Ann , ROFL. The things you learn here huh? LOL

kerry's picture
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003

A totally gross and inappropriate story for this site of survivors.

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