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Mixed emotions...

alta29's picture
Posts: 435
Joined: Mar 2005

Well, first of all I just got back from Mexico today..I did not have the tequila, but did drink a LOT of water !....today is also my birthday, and even though I give thanks to God for it ( I didn't think I would make it this far ) I always think if this one will be my last one...you all know that I always try to stay positive, but I was wondering if you all go through this .....I just read that we lost 2 of ours....I also read about Monica too ! It's like ...you know....you never know.....will I be one of the lucky ones ??? but at the same time I know that with colon cancer we medicine is doing a lot better...I have to tell myself all the time what the doctor told me...you have a chance...and I will go to bed tonite with this thought...I will have at least 25 more birthdays.... ( I just turned 47 )...still a baby..
God bless you all....

shmurciakova's picture
Posts: 910
Joined: Dec 2002

First of all Happy Birthday! Yes, you already are one of the lucky ones. I have felt that way too, maybe not so much on my birthday as Christmas. I remember sitting under the tree looking at all the ornaments and lights and wondering if that would be the last time I saw them. Mushy, I know. Needless to say, it was not the last time. Here I still am. I know I am lucky and it is very scary to read when someone takes a turn for the worse and/or passes away. I just try to remind myself that my story is not their story and each one of us is on a different path. Who knows what will happen to us in the end, but just be happy for your good fortune.
Hey, you were supposed to have a shot for me! Don't worry, I have just gotten to the point that I don't completely obsess over everything I put in my mouth!
Take care,
Susan H.

jams67's picture
Posts: 927
Joined: May 2006

I think we all feel just like you sometimes, wondering if that special moment will repeat itself again in our lifetime, and that moment becomes even more special with a little shiver of apprehension in the mix of emotions.
We all have a lot to be thankful for everyday and I try to look forward, but that little sniglet of wondering "will I be here next time" pops into my mind too, without any warning. It is almost like an electric shock of realism.
Jo Ann

PhillieG's picture
Posts: 4912
Joined: May 2005

Happy Birthday.
One never knows what is in store for any of us. Just driving to and from work or to the market can kill us. In one way we are lucky, we know that these is something ticking away in us (maybe) so we have the chance to live life to the fullest because we know what hangs over our heads.

I hope this isn't a downer post, but it's how I try to live every day.
BTW: I hope to hit 50 next month

Monicaemilia's picture
Posts: 455
Joined: Nov 2006

Happy, happy birthday! I know how you feel. Even with the wonderful events that have happened to me in the last few weeks, I still lay there at night wondering what the future will hold (ie will the cancer return?). Then I remind myself that I never thought I´d get to where I am today, and so goes for the rest of my life. My best advice to you is to enjoy your birthday, and know in your heart that you will be enjoying many, many more. Monica

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