Mixed emotions...

alta29
alta29 Member Posts: 435 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Well, first of all I just got back from Mexico today..I did not have the tequila, but did drink a LOT of water !....today is also my birthday, and even though I give thanks to God for it ( I didn't think I would make it this far ) I always think if this one will be my last one...you all know that I always try to stay positive, but I was wondering if you all go through this .....I just read that we lost 2 of ours....I also read about Monica too ! It's like ...you know....you never know.....will I be one of the lucky ones ??? but at the same time I know that with colon cancer we medicine is doing a lot better...I have to tell myself all the time what the doctor told me...you have a chance...and I will go to bed tonite with this thought...I will have at least 25 more birthdays.... ( I just turned 47 )...still a baby..
God bless you all....

Comments

  • shmurciakova
    shmurciakova Member Posts: 906 Member
    #2
    First of all Happy Birthday! Yes, you already are one of the lucky ones. I have felt that way too, maybe not so much on my birthday as Christmas. I remember sitting under the tree looking at all the ornaments and lights and wondering if that would be the last time I saw them. Mushy, I know. Needless to say, it was not the last time. Here I still am. I know I am lucky and it is very scary to read when someone takes a turn for the worse and/or passes away. I just try to remind myself that my story is not their story and each one of us is on a different path. Who knows what will happen to us in the end, but just be happy for your good fortune.
    Hey, you were supposed to have a shot for me! Don't worry, I have just gotten to the point that I don't completely obsess over everything I put in my mouth!
    Take care,
    Susan H.
  • jams67
    jams67 Member Posts: 925 Member
    #3
    I think we all feel just like you sometimes, wondering if that special moment will repeat itself again in our lifetime, and that moment becomes even more special with a little shiver of apprehension in the mix of emotions.
    We all have a lot to be thankful for everyday and I try to look forward, but that little sniglet of wondering "will I be here next time" pops into my mind too, without any warning. It is almost like an electric shock of realism.
    Jo Ann
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #4
    Happy Birthday.
    One never knows what is in store for any of us. Just driving to and from work or to the market can kill us. In one way we are lucky, we know that these is something ticking away in us (maybe) so we have the chance to live life to the fullest because we know what hangs over our heads.

    I hope this isn't a downer post, but it's how I try to live every day.
    BTW: I hope to hit 50 next month
  • Monicaemilia
    Monicaemilia Member Posts: 455 Member
    #5
    Happy, happy birthday! I know how you feel. Even with the wonderful events that have happened to me in the last few weeks, I still lay there at night wondering what the future will hold (ie will the cancer return?). Then I remind myself that I never thought I´d get to where I am today, and so goes for the rest of my life. My best advice to you is to enjoy your birthday, and know in your heart that you will be enjoying many, many more. Monica

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