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Sis hits bump in the road...sigh

KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

Well, my sister has been off rads for almost a week (sigh, she has only one week completed) because of a low platlet count. The docs are hoping it climbs for Wed restart of rads. It's a bit frustrating...the onc gave her a 'big' dose of chemo (mitomycin and 5FU) to start...and now..humm...well....I'm trying hard not to second guess them...

This caregiver stuff is HARD!!! Even on the limited basis of just phone conversations...some of my experiences that I had 'silver boxed' are coming back to me...this is so wierd!

I'm looking forward to my escape to Holland on Thursday...although, it seems like every time lately that we go, something terrible happens and I get the news over the phone. My daughter. My mom's diagnosis. I'm trying to keep perspective, but sometimes, especially at 2am, it's hard...

Thanks for letting me vent....

Hugs, Kathi

davidsonxx's picture
Posts: 137
Joined: Mar 2007

I think being a caregiver is harder than having ca. As the patient you are doing something to fight all the time even if it is just trying to eat right. As a caregiver you often have to helplessly stand by and watch your loved one struggle through the battle. I know you want your sister's battle to be easy and smooth but that seldom happens. You have been in the battle so long that it is hard not to be able to "do something" for your sister. Just remember from your own fight how much having that support helped.

I think it normal that you are second guessing her drs. Especially since you are not there to talk to them and get all your questions answered.

Go to Holland and enjoy yourself. Worrying about things won't change them. It just robs you of your enjoyment of life. Most of the stuff we worry about never happens and the stuff that does happen we can't change by worrying about it. If something is going to happen it will happen whether you are at home or in Holland. Go to Holland, enjoy yourself and get recharged.

jams67's picture
Posts: 927
Joined: May 2006

Right on David!
We have to struggle to live in the "present". Remember that the past is gone, we can only do so much about the future and the present is .. a gift. Enjoy your trip to Holland and if your sister calls then you can deal with it in the present when it happens, not if.

nudgie's picture
Posts: 1482
Joined: Sep 2006

Oh sweetie I know it's hard on you and your entire family, but always remember he (God) never gives us more than we can handle and right now he is carrying you through this time, that is why there is only one set of footprints.

goldfinch's picture
Posts: 737
Joined: Oct 2003

Keeping you and your sister in my prayers!

Enjoy your trip...and boy! do I know what you mean about 2 AM thoughts! Enjoy that recharge in Holland. YOU deserve it!

usakat's picture
Posts: 625
Joined: Jul 2006

Hi Kathi,

I get it...you are now living on the other side of the same coin. Caregiver-patient.

It's a special perspective that expands our hearts and our minds in a unique way. We should talk soon...

I'm here...

Posts: 5
Joined: May 2007

You are an angel and a great support to others! It must be hard to re-live the struggle through others so close to you. I have said a prayer for your sister's battle and bump in the road. Hopefully her next treatment will go better.

Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

Kathi, Boy can I relate to the "caregiver" worries. Prayers for your sis to get over this hurdle and try to enjoy your trip. God Bless
Hugs, Diane

Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2008

I'm taking care of my sister and looking for someone to "talk" to. I know your message is old, but I'm hoping for the best for you and her.

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