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Halloween Giggles

JADot's picture
JADot
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2006

Hi All:

To borrow a phrase from Kerry - all ghouls just want to have fun! So here are some ghoulish giggles for this spooky time of the year!

Have a great weekend!

Ying

= = = = = =
Why Halloween Is Better Than Sex

10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.

6. The person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else.

5. If you get a stomachache, it won't last 9 months.

4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.

3. It doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. You have less guilt the next morning.

1. IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!

Halloween One-liners

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...

What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball...

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein...

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel...

What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane...

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds...

What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...

What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...

kerry's picture
kerry
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Thanks Ying for getting the holiday rock'n and roll'n.

Hugs,

Kerry

JADot's picture
JADot
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2006

Hi Kerry:

Have a great Halloween yourself! I have this vision of you, Kourtney and Kandi going treat-or-treating on segways :) :)

Hugs to you,
Ying

scouty's picture
scouty
Posts: 1976
Joined: Apr 2004

Lemon Slime......sounds like the prep stuff I had to drink for my recent colonoscopy......

Thanks Ying!!!!!!!

Lisa P.

Betsydoglover's picture
Betsydoglover
Posts: 1254
Joined: Jul 2005

Lisa - don't remind me - gotta do that a week from Monday - trying to repress the thought!

Betsy

JADot's picture
JADot
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2006

Too funny! I'll have to do that soon myself! Not looking forward to the prep but am looking forward to eatching that little TV monitor and getting in touch with my innerself :) :)

Cheers,
Ying

helpjoy
Posts: 9
Joined: Jan 2006

Thanks JADot, even though I am in my fourth year remission from colon cancer, I still love the holidays, I love all the bright lights. The cancer set back our lives financially as it has everyone else, and this has been very hard, but I do my best to keep the faith and enjoy all the little things I have missed while raising a family and working for a number of years. It is my turn and we all have earned to see the beauty around us.

Take care and BOO!

joyce tanner
mariajoytanner@netzero.com

JADot's picture
JADot
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2006

Hi Joyce:

What a nice post Joyce. I am so glad that you're now able to enjoy yourself and catch up on things missed. Cancer taught me to enjoy every moment too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

BOO Too!
Ying

nanuk's picture
nanuk
Posts: 1363
Joined: Dec 2003

Groan...

JADot's picture
JADot
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2006

Grunt...

So glad we can communicate like this :) :)

jana11
Posts: 708
Joined: May 2004

Ying, how does one person have so many great giggles? You are awesome! Hope you find what you are looking for at the first house... hee hee. jana

JADot's picture
JADot
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2006

I have a large circle of friends who trade jokes. It's a wonder how we get anything else done, really!

I always get what I want from the first house - nudge, wink ;)

Take good care!
Ying

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