Halloween Giggles

JADot
JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi All:

To borrow a phrase from Kerry - all ghouls just want to have fun! So here are some ghoulish giggles for this spooky time of the year!

Have a great weekend!

Ying

= = = = = =
Why Halloween Is Better Than Sex

10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.

6. The person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else.

5. If you get a stomachache, it won't last 9 months.

4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.

3. It doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. You have less guilt the next morning.

1. IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!


Halloween One-liners

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...

What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball...

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein...

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer...

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...

What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel...

What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane...

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds...

What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...

What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...

Comments

  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    #2
    HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

    Thanks Ying for getting the holiday rock'n and roll'n.

    Hugs,

    Kerry
  • scouty
    scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
    #3
    Lemon Slime......sounds like the prep stuff I had to drink for my recent colonoscopy......

    Thanks Ying!!!!!!!

    Lisa P.
  • Betsydoglover
    Betsydoglover Member Posts: 1,248 Member
    #4
    scouty said:

    Lemon Slime......sounds like the prep stuff I had to drink for my recent colonoscopy......

    Thanks Ying!!!!!!!

    Lisa P.

    Lisa - don't remind me - gotta do that a week from Monday - trying to repress the thought!

    Betsy
  • helpjoy
    helpjoy Member Posts: 7
    #5
    Thanks JADot, even though I am in my fourth year remission from colon cancer, I still love the holidays, I love all the bright lights. The cancer set back our lives financially as it has everyone else, and this has been very hard, but I do my best to keep the faith and enjoy all the little things I have missed while raising a family and working for a number of years. It is my turn and we all have earned to see the beauty around us.

    Take care and BOO!

    joyce tanner
    mariajoytanner@netzero.com
  • nanuk
    nanuk Member Posts: 1,358 Member
    #6
    Groan...
  • jana11
    jana11 Member Posts: 705
    #7
    Ying, how does one person have so many great giggles? You are awesome! Hope you find what you are looking for at the first house... hee hee. jana
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #8
    kerry said:

    HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

    Thanks Ying for getting the holiday rock'n and roll'n.

    Hugs,

    Kerry

    Hi Kerry:

    Have a great Halloween yourself! I have this vision of you, Kourtney and Kandi going treat-or-treating on segways :):)

    Hugs to you,
    Ying
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #9
    scouty said:

    Lemon Slime......sounds like the prep stuff I had to drink for my recent colonoscopy......

    Thanks Ying!!!!!!!

    Lisa P.

    Too funny! I'll have to do that soon myself! Not looking forward to the prep but am looking forward to eatching that little TV monitor and getting in touch with my innerself :):)

    Cheers,
    Ying
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #10
    nanuk said:

    Groan...

    Grunt...

    So glad we can communicate like this :):)
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #11
    jana11 said:

    Ying, how does one person have so many great giggles? You are awesome! Hope you find what you are looking for at the first house... hee hee. jana

    I have a large circle of friends who trade jokes. It's a wonder how we get anything else done, really!

    I always get what I want from the first house - nudge, wink ;)

    Take good care!
    Ying
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #12
    helpjoy said:

    Thanks JADot, even though I am in my fourth year remission from colon cancer, I still love the holidays, I love all the bright lights. The cancer set back our lives financially as it has everyone else, and this has been very hard, but I do my best to keep the faith and enjoy all the little things I have missed while raising a family and working for a number of years. It is my turn and we all have earned to see the beauty around us.

    Take care and BOO!

    joyce tanner
    mariajoytanner@netzero.com

    Hi Joyce:

    What a nice post Joyce. I am so glad that you're now able to enjoy yourself and catch up on things missed. Cancer taught me to enjoy every moment too. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    BOO Too!
    Ying

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