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spongebob's picture
Posts: 2598
Joined: Apr 2003

>In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the
>Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
>vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy
>Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and
>Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And
>said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some
>sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
>And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that
>Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and
>sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size
>So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented
>Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.
>And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
>God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in
>which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
>chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more
>weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
>God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake,"
>and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it
>"Devil's Food."
>God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those
>extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would
>not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried

>before the flickering blue light and gained more pounds.
>Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
>nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
>center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained more pounds.
>God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still
>satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
>cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied,
>"Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went
>into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
>Then Satan created HMOs.

Colon Palooza is just a few days away!

Cheers, everyone.

- SB

alihamilton's picture
Posts: 348
Joined: Jan 2004

That is just wonderful...I have sent it to all my friends...thanks SB!

Posts: 758
Joined: Jul 2004

hey sponger,
that just about sums life up!!!!!!!!!!!!
thanks for the smile, need it today.
all the best

scouty's picture
Posts: 1976
Joined: Apr 2004

Where the heck did you get that SB? That is wonderful and I really like the ending.

See you tomorrow!!!! I am very excited and folks you will get photos and a play by play by each of us, in our own words. I am to drink a margarita for Aspaysia (I will substitute my usual other green drink and think that will be okay by AssP).

Did I say I was excited? I will feel all of you that can't be there with us AND I have a special rainbow from my OZ mates with me too (I am so excited). Then hope like hell that more us of can make it the next time and yes, there will be a next time!!!!!

Lisa P.

aspaysia's picture
Posts: 253
Joined: Nov 2003

I will be thinking of you guys this weekend. While y'all are boozing on the beach I am going to a birthday party for my grand niece. The baby fairy brought her to us one year ago this Saturday and she is just perfect. The proud grandma (my sister) has been shopping for a month and presents for the little princess will fill the van.
Be careful down there ladies. Sounds like the town is full of sailors on shore leave.
BYW de debil did not invent chocolate - it was the French - along with cheese and wine. Hey, all the main migraine food groups. They are an evil bunch.
Aspaysia, who might get her hands on a glass of sherry, if she is lucky.

2bhealed's picture
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001



What is it with everyone's funnybone on overdrive these days?? I'm going to split a gut and have to go in for hernia surgery #2 laughing so hard....not to mention the coughing jag it sends me into with this #@*&!! flu!!

thanks for the funny.

peace, emily who wishes she was philandering with the rest of the paloozas!

kangatoo's picture
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

"one day I'm gunna fall on tha floor n Jen will start to get ideas--lol!!"

ps--anyone know Spongers address?? I'll pitch in with a few $$$$$ for surveilance cameras--he!he!

Posts: 33
Joined: Jan 2005

THanks SpongeBob. What a way to start a morning. How funny is this? I needed it......

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