See life in a new Light

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minnie112256
minnie112256 Member Posts: 49
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Ever since I had my breast cancer two years ago. I see life differently. I put myself first more often. I buy something if I want it and I do things for me. My husband does not understand this. I live for today and not worry about tomorrow all the time. Does anyone else feel this way? I just think my priorities are different and my breast cancer was a wake up call. I do not give in like I use to. I do,say and feel the way I want to. Any thoughts?

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  • lucy
    lucy Member Posts: 157
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    I know exactly what you mean......I feel the same way and have for the four years that I have been a breast cancer survivor. It definitely woke me up and I appreciate all that I have so much more than I did before. The fall leaves here are now changing and such beauty that God has given to us, I now really appreciate. Before I took it all for granted. Take care of yourself and enjoy life to the fullest. Lucy
  • wildangel
    wildangel Member Posts: 81
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    For me I am a lot less forgiving of BS. I know that sounds just awful! But if someone who has given me a hard time in the past thinks he/she can still do it NOW I just walk away from them and delete them slowly from my life.
    It is harsh I know! But one thing this diagnosis taught me is you learn who your REAL friends are real quick! How many of us heard "if there is anything I can do?" and never saw that person again? And yet were surprised when someone we barely knew stepped up to the plate for us and showed us true support?
    I suppose since I have no family in the state and had to do everything on my own I got a little hardened- but it was a GOOD thing. I know now that I can do just about anything AND live through it!
    Love,
    Angela
  • hummingbyrd
    hummingbyrd Member Posts: 950 Member
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    wildangel said:

    For me I am a lot less forgiving of BS. I know that sounds just awful! But if someone who has given me a hard time in the past thinks he/she can still do it NOW I just walk away from them and delete them slowly from my life.
    It is harsh I know! But one thing this diagnosis taught me is you learn who your REAL friends are real quick! How many of us heard "if there is anything I can do?" and never saw that person again? And yet were surprised when someone we barely knew stepped up to the plate for us and showed us true support?
    I suppose since I have no family in the state and had to do everything on my own I got a little hardened- but it was a GOOD thing. I know now that I can do just about anything AND live through it!
    Love,
    Angela

    I see things in a new light, but it is through the life of Christ.
    No day is taken for granted, I thank God for another beautiful day each morning, rain or shine. I appreciate the time I have with my boys more, I look forward to being another year older.
    Most importantly I have learned life is not about me. If someone hurts my feelings I don't take it personally, it's not about me, they may not have meant it the way I took it or maybe they were just having a bad day. If someone cuts in front of me at a red light, it's not about me, they may not have even seen me. When my husband walked out on me after my diagnosis, it was not about me, it was about his inability to deal with his fear of me dying. Understand, I'm not saying this makes these things right, but it does make them easier to accept.
    It's not about me!
    How egotistical would I be to think that. How much more personal of an offense would all the bad things that happen during my lifetime be if it was about me. No, that's where God comes in. Eternity is a looong time, our time here is but a grain in the Sahara desert. So for me what's it all about? Bringing honor and glory to God. Odd you should day 'see life in a new light' Saul saw things in a new light after God temporarily blinded him with the light. He then became Paul a great promoter of Christianity.
    I definately see things in a new light as I'm sure we all do. Great question, thanks for asking. Hope you have a wonderful day!
    hummingbyrd
  • inkblot
    inkblot Member Posts: 698 Member
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    Hoping that the fact that your husband doesn't understand the "new" you is not a big problem. Sometimes it takes some time for those who love us deeply to accept some of what the "new" us is about.

    I think most of us begin to see things in a clearer way following our bc experiences. Our priorities may shift and change while our everyday living becomes more rewarding and fulfilling. I'm happy that you've grown and feel good about yourself.

    Most of us find that we have more to give to other's and in different ways than perhaps we were able to before. We come to understand the hazards of poorly managed stress and unhappiness in our lives and take positive actions to limit/correct both. All good for us!!!

    Mostly, I think we begin to appreciate life more and that naturally sets all the other "good for us" things in motion, such as improved diets and lifestyles, learning good stress busting methods, becoming more comfortable in speaking up for ourselves and speaking out when we feel compelled. We become more confident in our right to choose who we will and will not share our lives with. We may cultivate our future, post bc friendships/relationships, using a different criteria than before, while valuing even more preciously our old relationships. We find ourselves, as women, and find expression for our inner voices and realize that we have the absolute right to assert ourselves. ALL THAT IS WONDERFULLY EMPOWERING in helping us to recover from our emotional wounds, fears and roadblocks as we continue to grow.

    Still other's tend to "get religion" following very painful losses in their lives or following very traumatic, deeply emotional challenges and to those for whom it is effective, I say good. Becoming traditionally religious is also often a lifeline for convicted prisoners, errant husbands and wives who may have fidelity challenges/problems, former drug addicts, alcoholics, etc.. Whatever works, I say is always a good thing, and each of us must find our own paths to our greatest sources of strength. Every stone we turn over on our path toward growth, healing and perspective is an important one.

    I, too, continue to grow and learn and sometimes I think just the learning is a rewarding thing, all by itself. If nothing else, we learn what doesn't work for us. The more we value and respect ourselves, the more we naturally value and respect others and in my opinion, the world is never going to have too much of that! LOL

    Continued good health and happiness!

    Love, light and laughter,
    Ink
  • Minnie, there is no doubt about it - cancer completely changes a persons outlook on life, and I don't think that's a bad thing. Before BC I used to be a worrier, and planner, etc. but after BC I finally learned not to sweat the small stuff - and nearly everything is small stuff!! I also became much less afraid, at the time a friend asked me how I could stay so calm - I really wasn't all that calm inside, but I told her that either I'd survive or I wouldn't but either way I was going Home - and I did. That was eleven years ago and I now wear a "purple outfit and red hat" and enjoy every day, hour and minute I've been given.
    Clara