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Looking for Support

Posts: 6
Joined: Jul 2003

I'm not quite sure what to say. My dad was just diagnosed with cancer a couple of weeks ago. The type or stage wasn't given but it appears that it is NSC lung cancer in stage 3B. He has been told that it is inoperable and that all that they can provide is pallative care. My dad is only 55 and I am 28.

I'm having a very hard time dealing with his diagnosis. Deep in my heart, I believe he can beat his cancer but I know that the type of cancer he has is very tough to overcome.

Is there anyone else out there in the same situation as me with age and diagnosis? I could really use the support of others right now. I will also try to help anyone else who needs it but I'm new with this cancer thing.

Posts: 2
Joined: Jul 2003

You and your dad have a long road ahead of you but if you both believe he can beat his cancer, then he can. Attitude is everything. But your dad is the one that has to fight; the best thing you can do for him is to be by his side and support him all the way.

Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2003

My father in law was just diagnosed with
adenocarinoma in the lung and has spread in two small places in his brian. He is one of the
stongest and healthiest men I know. He has never been sick. Hardly even had a
common cold. He has spoken with the doctor and has started radiation three
days ago. The lung doctor told him he had a 50% chance of survivng and the
oncologist told him only 15%. With the chemo and radiation, he is scared and so
is my husband.

I want to know what I can do to help both of them through this. I
know they do not like dwelling on the matter but cant help from feeling helpless.
They both have always been the kind of men they have to fix things and this
they cannot. I want to be the best wife I can be and also be the best
daughter in law I can be. Is there any advice you can give me to help our family
through this? I know he has asked me to find people who have fought and won.

Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2003

I'm in the same exact situation as you but my father died 2 weeks ago. Im also 28 years old and my father was 60. He was diagnosed last November with Spindel Cell Cancer of the thymus gland. It's the most rare form of cancer you can get and of course my father got it. Of all the people out in the world today why us?? Why are families?? Those are the questions I ask myself everyday and I'm sure you do too. Noone has those answers which really sucks and I come to find out that doctors don't always have answers either. The last year of mine and my families life was a living hell. My dad was in and out of hospitals, operations, radiation. You name it he had it. Was in ICU on a ventalator for 9 weeks and that's when the cancer spread to his liver. We found that out on July 24, they told us radiation wouldnt work, he was too weak to be operated on, and he had 6 months to live and July 31 we had to make the hardest decision of our lives. We choose instead of letting my dad come home and have to tell him that the cancer spread and watch him die, we would take the vent off and watch him die peacefully in the hospital. Nothing can prepare you for that and the things that people tell you go in one ear and right out the other. I feel like im in a total nightmare everyday and I cant wake up. With the good help of great friends and family I made it through the past 2 weeks. Who's telling what the future has for me but I know my dad would not want me to give up and throw in the towel. Sometimes I want to so bad but I know he's watching down on me. I have to move on and live my life to the fullest everyday because tomorrow is not ours to live. I pray for you and for the strength that you will need in the upcommin months. Noone said it was easy and crying comes second nature to me now. Their is not enough tears in the world right now for me, obviously im a girl. But if you want to talk wright me back and I'll listen and answer any questions you have.

Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2003

My mother is 51 years old and just went through radiation and chemo treatment for colon cancer 16 months ago. I am 33 years old and live 11 hours away from her, I feel guilty because I have not seen her since she went through this ordeal the doctor's told her that they got the cancer, but she has trouble eating and keeping her food down,, she has lost 30 pounds in 4 weeks and is going for some tests on friday,,,, she is fighting this battle without me being with her but I can't uproot my life to be there,, it saddens me but i just don't know what to do,,, I pray every night that things will be alright, I will pray for you and your dad,,, good luck and god bless,

Posts: 3
Joined: Sep 2003

Hi there. I was in your situation just over a year ago. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in May 2002. It was inoperable and they only gave him three months to live. He was given radiation to help ease the pain because the cancer had spread. The radiation part wasn't so bad. My mom had cancer a couple of years ago and she did chemo which is much worse. What I want to tell you is to keep strong but remember it will be hard but you can make it through this and you can help your dad make it through. My dad passed away in November 2002... it was very rough and you need to be prepared for that outcome

Posts: 34
Joined: Oct 2003

wow! my dad is same age and i am 29.my dad has stomach cancer diagnosed in 01-it wasnt in lymph nodes but they classed it as stage 11 because a few cells may have escaped the stomach wall.his last ct scan revealed two small spots that we are waiting results--i feel as if i am gasping for air. i cant imagine a world without my dad-i have a wonderful husband and two healthy children but i just keep sinking lower with sadness. what is so hard is that we expect that if things go normally our parents will go to heaven one day--i just want it to be when they are old with great grandchildren you know?i have never experienced an emotion like this--someone has got to do something with this terrible c word--i feel myself just being so angry not because of the whys but at a group of cells that need to be demolished forever!! good luck to you.

Posts: 2
Joined: Dec 2003

i can tell you what i have seen with my father and hopefully this will give you some hope. my dad was diagnosed 9 years ago, when he was 48 years old, (i was 16) with stage 4 non hodgkins lymphoma. he was given a 2% chance to live. the cancer was in his brain, stomach, liver, intestine, spleen, and his lymph nodes. the brain tumors were too deep to operate. that was 8 years ago. today my father is very much alive. we had the support of many people - family and friends. generally, im not a religious person at all, but i found myself talking to someone larger than myself a decent amount. the best advice anyone can give you right now i think is to never give up hope. the road is long and hard, but you will see that you will learn so much about yourselves and how strong you and your father are. my thoughts are with you.

Posts: 6
Joined: Jul 2003

Thanks for your support but sadly, my dad died on October 19th. He fought his cancer hard but he suffered a serious stroke due to the continuous changes in his blood clotting. His stroke left him unable to speak or walk. He decided to stop treatment and died less than a month later. I miss him a lot and hope a cure is found soon. No family should have to endure what we have been through.

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