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Posts: 4
Joined: Apr 2003

I have many scars on my body due to treatment and I am wondering how you all come to terms with it. Sometimes I feel that family members do not want to talk about the scars once you're in remission as they feel that the battle with cancer is over and done with, and that you should move on with life.

It helps to share. Just wondering.


lori89's picture
Posts: 4
Joined: Apr 2003

I am a 14 year survivor with a road map of scars all over, too. My family won't talk about my sickness. Like you, they feel like I should just get over it. My scars have definitely affected my (mental) ability to be intimate. On one hand I'm proud of them because they are like badges of courage, but on the other hand I think they are unsightly and should be hidden. It's very difficult and I completely agree with you.


Posts: 10
Joined: Jun 2003

As a man I have to tell you that I dont think scars are a big turn off to most men, and you are probably doing yourself a great disservice believing it to be a big issue, because it likely detracts from your self confidence. For most men past their early 20s, how a woman conducts herself is a far far bigger element of sex appeal than just what she looks like. For the guys that are strictly interested in the picture a woman presents in a bikini, they are shallow idiots and your wouldnt have much quality in any relationship that you formed with them.

A woman who enjoys enticing her guy, who says and does things that really turn him on (I dont mean techniques in bed, I mean the teasing of the mind that can occur before that)is very sexy. She can be 40 pounds overweight and have a dozen scars, and her guy can still find her incredibly desireable. Believe me, I am not just saying this in the hopes of getting a paid appearance on Oprah, lol. It's the truth.

Stop worrying about the scars, and let yourself go (with the right guy), and he wont worry about the scars either. Other than perhaps a career as a stripper (which I certainly hope is not your goal), there is nothing you cant do to entice a man that a woman without scars can. Attitude is at least half of life.

beautiful20's picture
Posts: 6
Joined: Apr 2003

Honey I've got the shirt that says guys dig scars instead of chicks dig scars!lol I know all about the scar issue. Surviving cancer is a big accomplishment and can never be just over and done with. I know for me it will always be a part of my life that I can never forget. It changed my life and changed myself as a person. cancer will always be an on going battle because of the different aspects that it affects. Yes, in a way you should move on but never forget.I talk about my experience with cancer all the time. It does help to share. It also helps to laugh. That's how I dealt with everything. I laughed. I have a huge scar all down my leg from limb salvage surgery and when people stare or ask me what happend I tell them. I got attacked by a shark or an alligator. Of course I eventually tell them the truth but for me to laugh about it helps me deal with the reality that it doesn't look all that sexy. I have my days where I am concerned about my scar showing but I just have to tell myself if someone doesn't like me because I have a huge scar on my leg,stomache,side,and back them that's their loss. They wouldn't be worth my time anyway! If you ever want to talk you can email me ringpopstj@hotmail.com

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