New Here; anyone just feel so alone?

apkfl
apkfl Member Posts: 2
in Uterine/Endometrial Cancer #1
Hi! Lots to share but for now: I was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer on December 17th. I actually got the call from my gyno, as my family and I were traveling for Christmas. I had my total abdominal hysterectomy on January 12th, found to be Stage IB, Grade 2. I am to undergo brachytherapy radiation at the end of this month/beginning of next.

While I should be thrilled that they got all the cancer, (and I am ), my mind has not even had time to process the fact I had cancer!

I am just feeling soooo very alone! I have a wonderful family, very supportive husband, Mama who came to spend several weeks with me while I recover and yet I feel soooo very alone!

Anyone relate?! I just feel sometimes like I am "losing it".

Comments

  • Michaelynn
    Michaelynn Member Posts: 85 Member
    #2
    Feeling alone
    Hi

    Welcome to the board. I think everyone on here has felt alone at some stage in their cancer journey. You can have all the friends and family support in the world and still feel very much alone. Your fear of the unknown and constant thoughts of whats going to happen next is enough to make the most sane person insane. You will feel more at peace as your journey progresses. It sounds like everything happened quickly for you (as it did for me diagnosed on 2-23 and surgery on 3-10 of last year). this does not give you very much time to come to terms with this terribly disease. Its hard to act normal when your head is reeling with everything your trying to take in as you move from one stage to the next. Take a deep breath and just try to get through one day at a time. Once your on the board awhile you will make great friends that have been/or are going through the same process you are. They are a wealth of knowledge and can answer most of your questions and fears. Once all your treatment is over with and you are just seeing the doctor every 3 months then you will feel that your life is going back to normal even though the cancer is still their lurking in the back of your mind. It does get easier with time.
  • Ro10
    Ro10 Member Posts: 1,561 Member
    #3
    Sorry you are feeling "so alone"
    Welcome to the board, but sorry you have to be here. There are so many supportive ladies here.

    You are still in the grieving process. We can all relate to your feelings, as we too had the shock of the "cancer" diagnosis. You are definitely not losing it. As time goes on you will be able to take one day at a time and focus on all you have....family, friends, finding the cancer early. You make it through this journey and have your questions and concerns addressed by those who have also been through the journey. Keep us posted with your questions and concerns. We want to be here for you. In peace and caring.
  • Domina
    Domina Member Posts: 62
    #4
    apkfl
    Hi:
    I am sorry about your recent EC DX, but as the other ladies have said "welcome to the board". You will find so many wonderful, caring, supportive, funny, intelligent & strong women here that pretty soon you will forget you felt alone. All the feelings you have are normal. It's a lot to take in but as time goes by you process & adjust & move on.
    I was Dx w/ endometrial cancer on 12/21/10 & had my first appt. w/gyno-oncologist 12/23/10. I had my surgery the same day as you, 1/12/11. I had robotic laproscopic radical hysterectomy w/7 lymph nodes removed. I am Stage 1A, Grade 2.
    I will tell you alittle story about how I found out I had cancer. It was weird & numbing while it was happening but now I think it is alittle funny in an odd way. Only to me these things happen to, Hollywood could not have thought this scene up.
    I work in a call center, we are hooked up to phones all day long, every minute of every day is monitored & calculated. Every action has a phone code & if you are in available or idle or wrap up & not actually on a call it messes up your stats & you get crap from your supervisor the next day. We are not allowed to have our cell phones out where anyone can see them or on our desks or making calls on the sales floor. They do not want customer's private accounts compromised if someone takes a photo of a computer screen with their cell phone. You can't take or place any personal calls from your desk phone & there are no phone banks of phones in the lounges/lunch rooms. We only get two 10 min. breaks, barely enough time to use the toilet. The break rooms are too far away to make calls during the 10 minutes & there are too many people in there during lunch hr. to hear your call, if you are lucky to get reception. The only other place to go is outside in the parking lot where it is cold & no privacy because of the smokers. So I call my reg. gyn to get results of the path report from my d&c w/hysterscope that was done on 12/13/10. Here I am in the ladies room full of everyone in the stalls farting, peeing, flushing, complaining, ordering lunch, yelling at there boyfriend, screaming at the bill collectors, threatening the floozie who slept w/their man & my gyn is telling me in the ladies room at work I have cancer. Now that is something that doesn't happen every day but it is kind of amusing looking back. Ya just got to laugh it was so bizzare.

    Anyway, I hope you have a smile on your face now after hearing that true story. I am glad you are here, U Are Not Alone (beautiful Michael Jackson song) we are all here with you & you will get through this. Stay strong, keep posting, anytime, about Anything, good luck & prayers for your upcoming treatments & God bless for healing & recovery. :)
  • minniejan
    minniejan Member Posts: 88
    #5
    Domina said:

    apkfl
    Hi:
    I am sorry about your recent EC DX, but as the other ladies have said "welcome to the board". You will find so many wonderful, caring, supportive, funny, intelligent & strong women here that pretty soon you will forget you felt alone. All the feelings you have are normal. It's a lot to take in but as time goes by you process & adjust & move on.
    I was Dx w/ endometrial cancer on 12/21/10 & had my first appt. w/gyno-oncologist 12/23/10. I had my surgery the same day as you, 1/12/11. I had robotic laproscopic radical hysterectomy w/7 lymph nodes removed. I am Stage 1A, Grade 2.
    I will tell you alittle story about how I found out I had cancer. It was weird & numbing while it was happening but now I think it is alittle funny in an odd way. Only to me these things happen to, Hollywood could not have thought this scene up.
    I work in a call center, we are hooked up to phones all day long, every minute of every day is monitored & calculated. Every action has a phone code & if you are in available or idle or wrap up & not actually on a call it messes up your stats & you get crap from your supervisor the next day. We are not allowed to have our cell phones out where anyone can see them or on our desks or making calls on the sales floor. They do not want customer's private accounts compromised if someone takes a photo of a computer screen with their cell phone. You can't take or place any personal calls from your desk phone & there are no phone banks of phones in the lounges/lunch rooms. We only get two 10 min. breaks, barely enough time to use the toilet. The break rooms are too far away to make calls during the 10 minutes & there are too many people in there during lunch hr. to hear your call, if you are lucky to get reception. The only other place to go is outside in the parking lot where it is cold & no privacy because of the smokers. So I call my reg. gyn to get results of the path report from my d&c w/hysterscope that was done on 12/13/10. Here I am in the ladies room full of everyone in the stalls farting, peeing, flushing, complaining, ordering lunch, yelling at there boyfriend, screaming at the bill collectors, threatening the floozie who slept w/their man & my gyn is telling me in the ladies room at work I have cancer. Now that is something that doesn't happen every day but it is kind of amusing looking back. Ya just got to laugh it was so bizzare.

    Anyway, I hope you have a smile on your face now after hearing that true story. I am glad you are here, U Are Not Alone (beautiful Michael Jackson song) we are all here with you & you will get through this. Stay strong, keep posting, anytime, about Anything, good luck & prayers for your upcoming treatments & God bless for healing & recovery. :)

    Good Morning, I was
    Good Morning, I was diagnosed mid December with UPCS and had surgery during the holidays, my choice. Some people thought I was crazy to spend the holiday period in the hospital, but I just wanted it out! Due to the aggressiveness of the cancer on the original biopsy my doctor wanted open surgery, not da vinci. I start chemo on Tuesday and brachytherapy the next week. I am lucky, considering. My stage was only 1, with a grade of 3. I agree with the above posts. You will eventually run through the entire dictionary of emotions, and feeling alone is one of them. I am too new to offer much advice but I can say that reading the posts on here is definitely helpful and the wonderful ladies on this website have so much to share. Every morning I used to hop on e-mail, then facebook. Now my second stop is here! For example I loved Domina's story on how she got her results, it made me laugh, which is important. Such a serious diagnosis, but Domina, thank you! Bless you both in your journey.
  • Songflower
    Songflower Member Posts: 608
    #6
    minniejan said:

    Good Morning, I was
    Good Morning, I was diagnosed mid December with UPCS and had surgery during the holidays, my choice. Some people thought I was crazy to spend the holiday period in the hospital, but I just wanted it out! Due to the aggressiveness of the cancer on the original biopsy my doctor wanted open surgery, not da vinci. I start chemo on Tuesday and brachytherapy the next week. I am lucky, considering. My stage was only 1, with a grade of 3. I agree with the above posts. You will eventually run through the entire dictionary of emotions, and feeling alone is one of them. I am too new to offer much advice but I can say that reading the posts on here is definitely helpful and the wonderful ladies on this website have so much to share. Every morning I used to hop on e-mail, then facebook. Now my second stop is here! For example I loved Domina's story on how she got her results, it made me laugh, which is important. Such a serious diagnosis, but Domina, thank you! Bless you both in your journey.

    Feeling Alone
    I have a wonderful family and friends. I have had recurrance and alot of chemo, surgeries,etc. Still I sometimes feel alone. I have had breast cancer 11 years ago and there is always somewith breast cancer you bump in to. I never even heard of UPSP until I got the surgery. I was shocked; I thought I had fought the good fight and then got this aggressive cancer from taking tamoxifen for breast cancer. I felt so picked upon and cheated.

    We all have to go through all the stages; shock, anger, grief, until we reach peace. I saw a Therapist for a while; it helped to have someone just to talk to me and it was my hour to cry and face my fears. I didn't feel like I was overloading my family when I went. You may want to try this. I felt better when I cried. Somehow that release helped me to go on. My therapist told me I need to cry 15 minutes twice a day.`

    THis support group helps you to learn about your cancer and treatments. It helps to cope with treatments. Did you have chemotherapy? Do you know the type of cancer you have?
    Mary Ann does these wonderful medication tapes that are very helpful. They help you to relax.

    I also feel alone at times; I feel people pull away from me (not my family) when they find out I have cancer. I have a true story that happened to me and when you feel a little better I will tell you about it. I cried two hours afterward. But I have learned to let go of people who have bad energy and are not helpful. I'll add you to my prayer list; it keeps growing.

    Your feelings are normal. Sometimes an antidepressant helps for a while. They are not addictive.

    I started an exercise program for cancer patients. I'd like to meet more people in it.
    it.

    Love,
    Diane
  • RGK
    RGK Member Posts: 20
    #7
    Songflower said:

    Feeling Alone
    I have a wonderful family and friends. I have had recurrance and alot of chemo, surgeries,etc. Still I sometimes feel alone. I have had breast cancer 11 years ago and there is always somewith breast cancer you bump in to. I never even heard of UPSP until I got the surgery. I was shocked; I thought I had fought the good fight and then got this aggressive cancer from taking tamoxifen for breast cancer. I felt so picked upon and cheated.

    We all have to go through all the stages; shock, anger, grief, until we reach peace. I saw a Therapist for a while; it helped to have someone just to talk to me and it was my hour to cry and face my fears. I didn't feel like I was overloading my family when I went. You may want to try this. I felt better when I cried. Somehow that release helped me to go on. My therapist told me I need to cry 15 minutes twice a day.`

    THis support group helps you to learn about your cancer and treatments. It helps to cope with treatments. Did you have chemotherapy? Do you know the type of cancer you have?
    Mary Ann does these wonderful medication tapes that are very helpful. They help you to relax.

    I also feel alone at times; I feel people pull away from me (not my family) when they find out I have cancer. I have a true story that happened to me and when you feel a little better I will tell you about it. I cried two hours afterward. But I have learned to let go of people who have bad energy and are not helpful. I'll add you to my prayer list; it keeps growing.

    Your feelings are normal. Sometimes an antidepressant helps for a while. They are not addictive.

    I started an exercise program for cancer patients. I'd like to meet more people in it.
    it.

    Love,
    Diane

    So sorry you're feeling alone
    The feeling of loneliness was profound to me after my diagnosis of stage 3c endometrial cancer in spring of 2008, and often throughout my treatment that summer and fall. In retrospect, I think that it would've been useful to join a support group. The few occasions I've had to talk with people who had gone through cancer, even if not endometrial cancer, have felt like moments of real camaraderie. And I often feel that in a virtual sense here on this board. I hope it helps to know that everyone who goes through this feels this way at some point. You are not alone. I bet that your spirits will lift once you begin radiation -- to me, there was something very helpful about moving forward. Sending comforting thoughts from a comrade.
    Reg
  • jazzy1
    jazzy1 Member Posts: 1,379
    #8
    RGK said:

    So sorry you're feeling alone
    The feeling of loneliness was profound to me after my diagnosis of stage 3c endometrial cancer in spring of 2008, and often throughout my treatment that summer and fall. In retrospect, I think that it would've been useful to join a support group. The few occasions I've had to talk with people who had gone through cancer, even if not endometrial cancer, have felt like moments of real camaraderie. And I often feel that in a virtual sense here on this board. I hope it helps to know that everyone who goes through this feels this way at some point. You are not alone. I bet that your spirits will lift once you begin radiation -- to me, there was something very helpful about moving forward. Sending comforting thoughts from a comrade.
    Reg

    Loneliness~
    I can relate to feeling like you're the only one fighting the good fight. I started with all my treatments which left me somewhat depressed due to the drugs, then had to get used to many people not understand how I was feeling inside.

    What helped me, joined a local organization called THE WELLNESS CENTER and hooked up on this site. The support from here has given me the strength to endure and know we're all holding hands and getting on with life as best we can.

    Don't give up, but when you're feeling down try to "uplifting/positive thinking" books. These have always brought me out of the dulldrums to get on with life. Or...ask others to listen to your issues and hopefully they'll offer support. I do know this is a great spot to unload your feelings....then you should start to feel better.

    Best to you and glad you're here!!
    Jan
  • apkfl
    apkfl Member Posts: 2
    #9
    Thanks! (re: loneliness)
    Thanks everyone for the comments! I came here when I did at a time I was just about to fall apart! It truly helps to hear from those who have "been there, done that". Wish none of us had to go through Cancer and all that means, but since we do, I'm glad there's a place like this to come to.

    I hope sometime I can be of help to someone here. I'm sure I'll have more to say when I get to treatment time- brachytherapy.
  • Simonspeggy
    Simonspeggy Member Posts: 1
    #10
    Cancer is...
    I can relate to that feeling you got when your gyno called and said, "Hey you know that test we did, yeah we found cancer." I don't think there is a word to describe that feeling. I was 26 when I found out I had uterine cancer (I am 28 now) and had to have a hystorectomy to remove the uterus. Fortunately, I was able to keep my ovaries. I do not have any children and the idea of not being able to carry my own babies is deeply saddening. However, it takes courage to look at the bright side and to stay positive especially when you feel like your world is crashing down around you. I did not go through the emotions of having cancer until after the surgery. I went to a therapist because I did not want to trick myself into thinking I was ok, when in reality I wasn't. It takes time to process the weight of having something attack you from within yourself. If my words can be of any comfort I am thankful. I will say this much, allow yourself to feel what you are going through and greive for what you are going through. For me I always felt a little guilty for being so sad about what happend to me so I would keep looking at the postive. But I allow myself that time to feel sad and grieve, then I wipe my tears, slap a smile back on my face and remind myself that I kicked cancers **** and lived to tell the tale. I wish you the very best in your recovery!! Remember you are not alone.

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