first nonmedical outing post bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction
Comments
-
cinnamonsmile...
You are so recently "breast-less" (is that even a word?) that it is extremely emotional. Your body and your psyche have been ravaged at this point, and there is really no way to prepare for what we will feel after surgery.
And wasn't it wonderful to get rid of those dangling, awkward, no way to hide them, drains!
I still have one breast. Have joined the "uneven" club, where our physique is really quite noticeable. So, when I am going anywhere, I must put on my prosthesis. But when I'm home, I am not self-conscious and I will go braless...one side rather large, the other side, flat as a pancake. At home, I aim for comfort, and my family doesn't mind at all.
I am pretty sure that everyone goes through that self-conscious stage after surgery. But with time, it becomes less of an issue. People either will not notice at all, or they will accept you no matter what, because they are the people who care about you.
So, my best advice is to go about your normal business. Go where you please. And even though your "new" body will be at the forefront of your thoughts for awhile, with time, you will be more comfortable about the whole thing. We just need to give ourselves enough time to accept and adapt.
Hugs,
CR0 -
Hi
I had a bilateral
Hi
I had a bilateral mastectomy in July of last year. I know the feeling. I was surprisingly not emotional after my surgery, but rather before. I remember taking my daughters to a water park in my bikini a few days before my surgery and thinking "this is the last time i'll be in a bathing suit with my REAL boobs". I made peace with my body in the days before my surgery because i didn't want to freak out afterwards.
One thing I felt was that my friends and family would look at me differently. Of course they didn't & that was all in my head, but that's what I felt. I thought they would either think I was some kind of freak, or feel sorry for me, neither of which i wanted.
I had immediate reconstruction, meaning my plastic surgeon placed tissue expanders in at the same time as my mastectomy, so I wasn't "boob-less" for very long, I had fills on my expanders every 2 weeks. One thing that i DID like, though, was the fact that without my breasts, my body looked MUCH thinner
I've always been a curvy girl -on my best days I was large busted, small waisted, and curvy but not too big hips. So it was neat to me to have this really lean looking body for a while. But, thanks to chemo & steroids, and tamoxifen, and my new implants, I'm back to my old figure, with extra pounds to boot.
I guess I'm rambling on here, but my point is that I also had those feelings after my surgery, and they didn't last very long. It didn't take me long to adjust to my new, post-surgery body, at all.
*hugs*
Heather0 -
Sending you a big cyberCR1954 said:cinnamonsmile...
You are so recently "breast-less" (is that even a word?) that it is extremely emotional. Your body and your psyche have been ravaged at this point, and there is really no way to prepare for what we will feel after surgery.
And wasn't it wonderful to get rid of those dangling, awkward, no way to hide them, drains!
I still have one breast. Have joined the "uneven" club, where our physique is really quite noticeable. So, when I am going anywhere, I must put on my prosthesis. But when I'm home, I am not self-conscious and I will go braless...one side rather large, the other side, flat as a pancake. At home, I aim for comfort, and my family doesn't mind at all.
I am pretty sure that everyone goes through that self-conscious stage after surgery. But with time, it becomes less of an issue. People either will not notice at all, or they will accept you no matter what, because they are the people who care about you.
So, my best advice is to go about your normal business. Go where you please. And even though your "new" body will be at the forefront of your thoughts for awhile, with time, you will be more comfortable about the whole thing. We just need to give ourselves enough time to accept and adapt.
Hugs,
CR
Sending you a big cyber hug!
Debby0 -
I had bilateral
mastectomy in June and ventured out 10 days later to see surgeon to get drains removed. I wore a soft camisole that had cotton boob inserts and pockets velcroed that held the drains. I felt comfortable in it. Don't let it stop you from normal activity. You will feel better emotionally by trying to keep things the same. In September I went to a wonderful shop to be fitted for mastectomy bras and forms. That's what I wear now as I am going through rads. I don't plan on reconstruction at this time in life.
{{hugs}} Char0 -
outing update
no problem! went in my pjs (didtn see the sense of changing into sweat for an hour), never gave being breastless a second thought. sat at the table with his mom, she laughed and showed me a magazine with a large breasted woman for a bra sale, we laughed so hard. i know some may be offended by it, but i thought it was funny, thats how her and i operate. sadisitic maybe. no one made a big deal about it. was just like another thing that happens in life.she is recovering from a knee replacement. when it was time for me to go, she was getting up to start supper, we both bent over in position to get up like two old farts and laughed so hard, she was saying ready, set, go lol like it was a race.
now i am ready for the grocery store, but seeing it is in the single digits here in wisconsin i wont be taking my coat off.0 -
I am.....cinnamonsmile said:outing update
no problem! went in my pjs (didtn see the sense of changing into sweat for an hour), never gave being breastless a second thought. sat at the table with his mom, she laughed and showed me a magazine with a large breasted woman for a bra sale, we laughed so hard. i know some may be offended by it, but i thought it was funny, thats how her and i operate. sadisitic maybe. no one made a big deal about it. was just like another thing that happens in life.she is recovering from a knee replacement. when it was time for me to go, she was getting up to start supper, we both bent over in position to get up like two old farts and laughed so hard, she was saying ready, set, go lol like it was a race.
now i am ready for the grocery store, but seeing it is in the single digits here in wisconsin i wont be taking my coat off.
I am smiling at your post. Good for you! I'm glad that you got out and enjoyed yourself!
Now that you have "dipped your toe in the water', the next time will be a piece of cake!
Hugs,
CR0 -
I wish I was where you allCR1954 said:I am.....
I am smiling at your post. Good for you! I'm glad that you got out and enjoyed yourself!
Now that you have "dipped your toe in the water', the next time will be a piece of cake!
Hugs,
CR
I wish I was where you all are. I was at Wal-Mart ( of all places ) today, and all I seemed to see were women of a 'certain age----mine' with "real breasts" and I have been crying ever since. Today was one of those very emotional days that started with crying about other matters. Anyway, I have been so upset with realizing that the Foobs are what I will have forever! They don't feel or look like real breasts and they are all there is for the rest of my life!!!! This isn't the only issue with which I am dealing today, but it is a realization that the "new f-----g normal" is the permanent 'normal'--and its not 'normal' at all. Sorry to whine, but its one of those days and I just wonder why I bothered fighting BC at all.
Whiny Chickadee0 -
It sounds so funny to hear you say "Now I'm ready for the grocery store" but don't we all know exactly what that means and how it feels! I keep thinking about Christina Applegate who opted for double masectomy to prevent breast cancer. Christina said of her new breasts, "Now I'll be perky into my 80's." As tough as this all is, there's always a bright side.cinnamonsmile said:outing update
no problem! went in my pjs (didtn see the sense of changing into sweat for an hour), never gave being breastless a second thought. sat at the table with his mom, she laughed and showed me a magazine with a large breasted woman for a bra sale, we laughed so hard. i know some may be offended by it, but i thought it was funny, thats how her and i operate. sadisitic maybe. no one made a big deal about it. was just like another thing that happens in life.she is recovering from a knee replacement. when it was time for me to go, she was getting up to start supper, we both bent over in position to get up like two old farts and laughed so hard, she was saying ready, set, go lol like it was a race.
now i am ready for the grocery store, but seeing it is in the single digits here in wisconsin i wont be taking my coat off.0 -
so sorry, chickadeeChickadee1955 said:I wish I was where you all
I wish I was where you all are. I was at Wal-Mart ( of all places ) today, and all I seemed to see were women of a 'certain age----mine' with "real breasts" and I have been crying ever since. Today was one of those very emotional days that started with crying about other matters. Anyway, I have been so upset with realizing that the Foobs are what I will have forever! They don't feel or look like real breasts and they are all there is for the rest of my life!!!! This isn't the only issue with which I am dealing today, but it is a realization that the "new f-----g normal" is the permanent 'normal'--and its not 'normal' at all. Sorry to whine, but its one of those days and I just wonder why I bothered fighting BC at all.
Whiny Chickadee
i am so sorry to hear about your tough time. since i dont have the foobs i cant really relate. i guess we are all different how we deal with this mentally, physically, emotionally, for some spiritually. the one thing my wonderful, wonderful boyfreind stressed to me is that it is ok wherever i am at. i had quite a few meltdowns prior to surgery the worst being the one the morning before. he came home from working third shift finding me almost unable to move in the shower from crying so hard. he didnt know what to say so he stood there and cried with me. just having him there made me feel better so i cried, told him i was so scared, didnt know if was strong enough. after i turned water off, he just held me till i could get out of tub. he just watned me to feel whatever i felt, get throuh it. its the same physically with me. after lumpectomy it took me three weeks to heal, much longer than the surgeon said. it appears that i am a slow healer and seems to be post mastectomy now too with the probs i have with nerve damage from SNB. at first i read about women in their garden one week out. one week out from mast. i was excited i could turn the faucet on or not flush the toilet with my foot!!!!but i just accept where i am whether it be so awful, so painful and i wait for things to turn around. i am not one of the types of people who are a fighter, gung ho, can "work" on changing my thoughts, attitudes (although i am learning a little, lol) and thats ok. its a down time for you chickadee and i feel for you cuz we have all been there, are there or are going to be there at some point whether it be cancer or life. and its ok to whine!!! i think for some of us, whining makes us feel guilty but i think with all we have been thru we have earned the right to whine sometimes!! i have been doing it lately cuz i was tired of being waited on, having a baby sitter etc post mastectomy. some how, some way, i think you will be able to figure out how to come to terms with this, but it sure sucks when we are in it, doesnt it? take care, chickadee, i will keep you in my thoughts.0 -
Been there, done that
Hi.
I am over a year out from my surgery and I still get emotional sometimes. It was difficult for me to first go out, too. I had some puffs and a camisol that I wore when I went out (I purchased from TLC) before I was fitted with my silicone forms.
I considered going back to work "breastless" but my husband thought it might be too much of a shock for everyone (who cared about me) to see me like that. He also didn't want the (idiot) co-workers to ask a bunch of personal questions or make comments that would hurt/upset me.
I'd say do what you want but be prepared for comments from people who shouldn't even be saying anything to you. You need to psych up for whatever you may encounter and be prepared for what people will say. I'm not trying to scare you or talk you out of going out the way you are, I just don't want you to get hurt or become emotional if you have to deal with stupid people who have no clue what you are going through.
Take care and please feel free to send me a private message if you have any other questions or need advice.
Wolfi0 -
lol, i spent from oct 20thWolfi said:Been there, done that
Hi.
I am over a year out from my surgery and I still get emotional sometimes. It was difficult for me to first go out, too. I had some puffs and a camisol that I wore when I went out (I purchased from TLC) before I was fitted with my silicone forms.
I considered going back to work "breastless" but my husband thought it might be too much of a shock for everyone (who cared about me) to see me like that. He also didn't want the (idiot) co-workers to ask a bunch of personal questions or make comments that would hurt/upset me.
I'd say do what you want but be prepared for comments from people who shouldn't even be saying anything to you. You need to psych up for whatever you may encounter and be prepared for what people will say. I'm not trying to scare you or talk you out of going out the way you are, I just don't want you to get hurt or become emotional if you have to deal with stupid people who have no clue what you are going through.
Take care and please feel free to send me a private message if you have any other questions or need advice.
Wolfi
lol, i spent from oct 20th to early january with a team of medical professionals who were idiots! until i fired them all. the only thing i can think of that would be awful to hear from someone is that i shouldnt be out in public flat chested. i have no plans on wearing falsies. my bf did suggest to me that when i can, i get fitted for prosthesis and mastectomy bras just in case i would ever want to wear them for a special occasion. i think for me other than that one comment i mentioned, dealing with stupid people is easier than dealing with stupid medical professionals. my mom was with in the hosp and came to help everyday until i didnt need it. she says inappropriate things all the time. but thanks for the heads up, i never thought of that so now i have it in mind that it may happen with strangers, not just mom!!!0 -
Each person is different
I made the decision for double with no reconstruction. Once I made Hubby read up on the reconstruction options he decided he agreed with me.
After surgery I kept expecting to grieve for my breast but the wierd thing is it doesn't bother me. I also can't wear bras due to lymphedemia in my trunk and chest area. I have found that most people aren't that observant and don't notice that I am flat chested now. I do have bras and foobs for special occassions but have never worn them.0 -
Dear Cinnamonsmile,sweetvickid said:Each person is different
I made the decision for double with no reconstruction. Once I made Hubby read up on the reconstruction options he decided he agreed with me.
After surgery I kept expecting to grieve for my breast but the wierd thing is it doesn't bother me. I also can't wear bras due to lymphedemia in my trunk and chest area. I have found that most people aren't that observant and don't notice that I am flat chested now. I do have bras and foobs for special occassions but have never worn them.
Thank
Dear Cinnamonsmile,
Thank you so very much for the encouraging words. I am feeling better today. Yesterday was probably my first real 'meltdown' since all this started, believe it or not. Last chemo was 5 months ago so I guess I may be experiencing the post-treatment depression some of the Sisters have mentioned. Anyway, it means a lot to have your kind words. Thanks!
Chickadee0 -
Having a lumpectomy myself,NJMom10 said:It sounds so funny to hear you say "Now I'm ready for the grocery store" but don't we all know exactly what that means and how it feels! I keep thinking about Christina Applegate who opted for double masectomy to prevent breast cancer. Christina said of her new breasts, "Now I'll be perky into my 80's." As tough as this all is, there's always a bright side.
Having a lumpectomy myself, I have no idea of what you pink sisters go thru. Just know that I am sending you a big cyber hug and praying you feel better with each day.
Hugs, Angie0 -
update..grocery store
i am on cloud nine. i got to go to the grocery store. bf is so wise, asked if i wanted to push the cart, one so my arms wouldnt dangle, two so i got a little excersise. it felt like i accomplished so much taking things off the shelves and putting them in the cart! it also felt so good to be out of pjs. i have a white camesole with the drain pockets but have opted at home to put the remaining two in the fanny pack like bag (but with longer strap) that my pain pump had come in. felt nice to be in something other htan a black unfeminine horse feed bag hanging from my neck. and... get this... it felt SOOO GOOD not to have a bra on, not have those big heavy boobs i used to have. i really hate bras so i am not planning on wearing prosthesis. before mastecotmy i was a plain tee/shirt/sweatshirt jeans kind of gal. i notice without boobs, i kind of like the pretty little lines from the camisole. i believe i will be upgrading from cheap walmart tees and tanks this summer to cheap walmart tanks and tees with a little lace maybe. boy do i like being breastless. i am even motivated to start walking and maybe doing some sit ups so i lose my big belly! i am so happy with my choice for a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction!! a day like today makes all the pain and uncomfortableness from the knicked nerves from snb worth it!!0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.9K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 446 Bladder Cancer
- 309 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.5K Breast Cancer
- 398 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 13K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.4K Kidney Cancer
- 671 Leukemia
- 794 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 237 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 63 Pancreatic Cancer
- 487 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.5K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 540 Sarcoma
- 734 Skin Cancer
- 653 Stomach Cancer
- 191 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.9K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards