I think I've finally found the face-to-face support group I've needed

missrenee
missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
After going to a support group a few times in my area--I was very disappointed. I felt like it was more of a social gathering (not that that's bad) but I'm trying to deal with all the feelings and emotional issues now that the physical treatment is over. I also had one lady there tell me that I had actually did myself a disservice by receiving chemo and rads! She actually said I probably made my cancer worst! I was in tears and I never went back.

Today was quite a different story. I visited The Wellness Community here in Phoenix for a Newcomer Meeting. I did not know this, but apparently they are nationwide--although not in all states yet. The people there were truly amazing. They really focus on patient issues and have various lectures, seminars, nutrition classes, yoga, arts, music all through the month. I'm so excited to have found this community and I plan on attending many of their programs. By the way, it's all FREE.

I love this forum at CSN and will continue to talk with all my wonderful Kindred Spirits here, but I just wanted to share this with you all. Today was a good day for me!

Hugs, Renee

Comments

  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    That's awesome! I too am
    That's awesome! I too am struggling with the emotional part now that I'm no longer in active treatment. Glad you had a good day :)
    *hugs*
    Heather
  • Wolfi
    Wolfi Member Posts: 425
    Sounds great!
    Renee,

    I'm glad you found a support group. I go to one in my area and it is partially a social gathering but everyone respects what others are dealing with in their journey. I like to be able to vent to the women because (like everyone here) they "get it". I've even gotten some good tips about tests to ask about and what side effects come with some medications.

    That is cool that your new group has seminars and other classes you can do. Any extra things we can do to be healthier, like yoga and nutritian classes, can help us feel better and lessen some symptoms.

    Glad you had a good day today.
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    Wolfi said:

    Sounds great!
    Renee,

    I'm glad you found a support group. I go to one in my area and it is partially a social gathering but everyone respects what others are dealing with in their journey. I like to be able to vent to the women because (like everyone here) they "get it". I've even gotten some good tips about tests to ask about and what side effects come with some medications.

    That is cool that your new group has seminars and other classes you can do. Any extra things we can do to be healthier, like yoga and nutritian classes, can help us feel better and lessen some symptoms.

    Glad you had a good day today.

    Thanks, Renee
    For sharing this resource. I've been trying to figure out what the heck I'm going to do with the rest of my life, been thinking about counseling, but a face-to-face facilitated support group might be a wonderful first step. I went to the website for this organization and the closest one to me is over an hour away, so I Googled cancer support groups in my area and what do you know? There's one within walking distance! It is not part of the Wellness Community, but I think I'll give it a shot. Glad you've found something that works for you.
    Suzanne
  • Betsy13
    Betsy13 Member Posts: 185
    I am so glad that you have found a great face-to-face support group. I have been
    searching in my area almost a year now and there is nothing. I finally decided to
    quit looking and be thankful for the wonderful support that I find on this board.

    Yeah, for you! I am glad today was a good day for you!

    Hugs ~
    Betsy
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    I heard about them but they are in Phoenix, I always get lost there =)

    We'll talk more on thursday.

    Hugs,
    Ayse
  • cookie97
    cookie97 Member Posts: 200

    Thanks, Renee
    For sharing this resource. I've been trying to figure out what the heck I'm going to do with the rest of my life, been thinking about counseling, but a face-to-face facilitated support group might be a wonderful first step. I went to the website for this organization and the closest one to me is over an hour away, so I Googled cancer support groups in my area and what do you know? There's one within walking distance! It is not part of the Wellness Community, but I think I'll give it a shot. Glad you've found something that works for you.
    Suzanne

    I'm impressed
    I actually talked with my onc about this; as much as chemo sucked it felt like my comfy blanket. That I was doing something to get better, when I was finished I felt like I had just lost my security blanket. He was a big help as far as dolling out the depression meds, but I needed more. I hope to connect with a group like that. Thanks for the heads up.
    Good luck with your new group. Of course we will still expect updates!!!

    Peace and Love,
    Edie
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    I am so happy for you. I know what it means to have support, and what it means when you don't.

    Good for you! What a great day!

    Sue
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    glad that you found the group that you found!
    Cannot believe what the lady said from the other group-I am not a dr but I feel like I can say that you didn't make your cancer worse by having chemo and rads! Everyone has their own right to their choices,but in the end,you do what you have to do to get better so that you have a chance to dance with NED!
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    Thanks for info

    Thanks for info
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    It's so nice to hear you say
    It's so nice to hear you say today was a good day. Hopefully, with the support of the group you've found, you'll be able to say that more often. I'll be looking in my area too.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    That is wonderful news! I
    That is wonderful news! I am so happy for you. Good support is so very important.

    I too had a bad experience with a face-to-face group when I was first diagnosed in 1987.

    I was only 33 yrs old at the time with a 4 yr old at home and the group was mainly all older individuals with recurrences--many at the end-stage. And many seemed very, very depressed. I know it sounds selfish, but I could not emotionally deal with that group at that time in my life. I was trying to be hopeful and optimistic and I felt so hopeless and devastated after the meetings.

    Maybe there needs to be a separate group for individuals first diagnosed? I don't have the answer. But I don't criticize anyone, ever for pulling back from any group. There are times when taking care of ourselves is much more important.

    But it is so great that you find the right match for you! I have been thinking a lot of trying a group again and you are truly an inspiration to me.
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member

    That is wonderful news! I
    That is wonderful news! I am so happy for you. Good support is so very important.

    I too had a bad experience with a face-to-face group when I was first diagnosed in 1987.

    I was only 33 yrs old at the time with a 4 yr old at home and the group was mainly all older individuals with recurrences--many at the end-stage. And many seemed very, very depressed. I know it sounds selfish, but I could not emotionally deal with that group at that time in my life. I was trying to be hopeful and optimistic and I felt so hopeless and devastated after the meetings.

    Maybe there needs to be a separate group for individuals first diagnosed? I don't have the answer. But I don't criticize anyone, ever for pulling back from any group. There are times when taking care of ourselves is much more important.

    But it is so great that you find the right match for you! I have been thinking a lot of trying a group again and you are truly an inspiration to me.

    My 2 cents worth
    I totally agree with those of you who are struggling with the issue of "after treatment ends." I still think that is part of why I haven't had my port removed. It still gives me some sort of connection to the treatment center and the feeling that someone is helping to take care of me. After all of those months ... surgery, chemo then radiation ... then ... the treatments are finally over and we should be so happy ... but instead it's like we are totally cut free and on our own. Sure ... we go for our regular mammograms and check-ups ... but it's not the same. Before treatments ended we were being watched VERY, Very closely for any possible change. A one degree temperature change ... every little ache and pain ... blood was monitored closely, heart monitored ... every little discomfort was addressed. But then ... WHAM ... there's no one monitoring every little thing we feel ... or think we feel. I've personally become quite paranoid ... and feel as though "it" is creeping up on me ... somewhere in my body ...

    But ... I can say ... thank goodness for anti-depressants. I'm sure I couldn't function without them.

    hugs.
    Teena
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    tgf said:

    My 2 cents worth
    I totally agree with those of you who are struggling with the issue of "after treatment ends." I still think that is part of why I haven't had my port removed. It still gives me some sort of connection to the treatment center and the feeling that someone is helping to take care of me. After all of those months ... surgery, chemo then radiation ... then ... the treatments are finally over and we should be so happy ... but instead it's like we are totally cut free and on our own. Sure ... we go for our regular mammograms and check-ups ... but it's not the same. Before treatments ended we were being watched VERY, Very closely for any possible change. A one degree temperature change ... every little ache and pain ... blood was monitored closely, heart monitored ... every little discomfort was addressed. But then ... WHAM ... there's no one monitoring every little thing we feel ... or think we feel. I've personally become quite paranoid ... and feel as though "it" is creeping up on me ... somewhere in my body ...

    But ... I can say ... thank goodness for anti-depressants. I'm sure I couldn't function without them.

    hugs.
    Teena

    Teena--that's exactly what the person at the center said
    She is also an 8-year survivor of breast cancer and said sometimes the "after treatment" is harder than the time during treatment. We do what we can to heal our bodies, then are let go and there's no one to bridge the gap between being sick and coping with our "new normal." One of the doctors there (who volunteers his time) said that we are so lacking in one of the most important phases of having cancer--the after-care. I think a lot of us feel that way--just sort of drifting, scared, not knowing what to do next. We're trying to get on with it, but it's just not the same--we can't be who we were before. So, now we're struggling to find out just who we are now and how we deal with it.

    I am also on an anti-depressant--Zoloft. When I finished treatment, I wanted to go off--my doctor discouraged me. I'm so glad I didn't discontinue it. I didn't know how difficult this part of the journey would be.

    Hugs, Renee
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    Betsy13 said:

    I am so glad that you have found a great face-to-face support group. I have been
    searching in my area almost a year now and there is nothing. I finally decided to
    quit looking and be thankful for the wonderful support that I find on this board.

    Yeah, for you! I am glad today was a good day for you!

    Hugs ~
    Betsy

    Glad that you found such a
    Glad that you found such a great support group of sisters in pink.


    Leeza
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    missrenee said:

    Teena--that's exactly what the person at the center said
    She is also an 8-year survivor of breast cancer and said sometimes the "after treatment" is harder than the time during treatment. We do what we can to heal our bodies, then are let go and there's no one to bridge the gap between being sick and coping with our "new normal." One of the doctors there (who volunteers his time) said that we are so lacking in one of the most important phases of having cancer--the after-care. I think a lot of us feel that way--just sort of drifting, scared, not knowing what to do next. We're trying to get on with it, but it's just not the same--we can't be who we were before. So, now we're struggling to find out just who we are now and how we deal with it.

    I am also on an anti-depressant--Zoloft. When I finished treatment, I wanted to go off--my doctor discouraged me. I'm so glad I didn't discontinue it. I didn't know how difficult this part of the journey would be.

    Hugs, Renee

    Miss Renee == I am thrilled that you found a 'safe' and happy
    place to share your fears, hope and dreams. Emotions get the best of us during and after treatment. How wonderful that you found a group, that fits you like a glove.

    Getting back to normal -- not as easy as it sounds. At least that has been my situation -- the struggles, the emotions up and down, getting out trying to live, only to get sick over and over again. I keep on trying and going --- that is the most important part, for me!!!!!!


    Keep pushing forward .. no matter what!

    Strength and Courage,

    Vicki Sam
  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    Thanks!
    I checked the Internet and there is a local group in CT. I'll check it out!

    Roseann