Friends wanting to show support by shaving their heads

EllenaMaria
EllenaMaria Member Posts: 69
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My sis and I were talking about my hair. I was telling her how until you lose your hair like this it is hard to truly understand what it is like to wait for your hair to grow back. I explained to her that it is like when you have a baby girl with little or no hair and at 2yrs old she still barely has any hair. My hair is like that. It feels like really new baby hair and is slow growing.

That got her thinking about a guy on her Facebook. He shaved off his hair to support a friend and was boasting about how long it now is. My sis told him, very nicely of course, that it was great that his hair was coming in but he might want to think about his friend who still has no hair due to the chemo and that her hair won't even start growing back until after her treatment stops. He replied that he never considered that and was glad my sis said something to him. I suggested he keep shaving it regularly, at least until his friend stops chemo. Now that would be showing support for someone!

I never really thought about this until now. My daughter said she would shave her head, donating her hair to Locks for Love. Of course I insisted she not do that. She is only 13. Looking back I am so glad she did not do that. It would have made her sad to see her hair grow back while mine was still gone. By now she would have chin length hair while mine is barely 2". She did go with me when they shaved my head though, we made it a mommy-daughter day.

Comments

  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #2
    No one shaved their heads in
    No one shaved their heads in support of me while on chemo and I didn't expect them to. There are other things that were done in support that meant a lot. Like sending me cards if they were long distance. Or sending me gift cards to restaurants for when I couldn't cook. We had just moved and I didn't have anyone close. In my opinion it would be more support if they did something for you to help like cleaning your house or taking you to an appointment. I think having a mommy-daughter day was a great way to show support and build a closer relationship.
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #3
    Marcia527 said:

    No one shaved their heads in
    No one shaved their heads in support of me while on chemo and I didn't expect them to. There are other things that were done in support that meant a lot. Like sending me cards if they were long distance. Or sending me gift cards to restaurants for when I couldn't cook. We had just moved and I didn't have anyone close. In my opinion it would be more support if they did something for you to help like cleaning your house or taking you to an appointment. I think having a mommy-daughter day was a great way to show support and build a closer relationship.

    That is great that you had
    That is great that you had the mommy-daughter day when your head was shaved. Sounds like you have a really close relationship. You are very lucky!


    Wishing you good luck,


    Angie
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #4
    Head shaving...
    Personally, I've never quite understood why people do this...I get the " showing support" thing... But as stated, their hair starts growing back within 3 days...ours take months....my husband and son said, " we'll shave ours too....". I said "Oh no you won't!".I think there is much more meaningful ways to be supportive...but to each his own!
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #5
    MAJW said:

    Head shaving...
    Personally, I've never quite understood why people do this...I get the " showing support" thing... But as stated, their hair starts growing back within 3 days...ours take months....my husband and son said, " we'll shave ours too....". I said "Oh no you won't!".I think there is much more meaningful ways to be supportive...but to each his own!

    My husband has a large head,
    My husband has a large head, so much so he cant wear most hats. So when he wanted to shave his head, we all said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He has thick really fast growing hair, so not thinking but it probably would have grown back in a week LOL! so sweet for such a young girl to offer to shave her hair, she really loves her mom.
  • faith_trust_and_a_little_bit_of_chemotherapy
    faith_trust_and_a_little_bit_of_chemotherapy Member Posts: 319 Member
    #6
    carkris said:

    My husband has a large head,
    My husband has a large head, so much so he cant wear most hats. So when he wanted to shave his head, we all said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He has thick really fast growing hair, so not thinking but it probably would have grown back in a week LOL! so sweet for such a young girl to offer to shave her hair, she really loves her mom.

    I was still a fuzz head...
    when I took my daughter in to get her annual back-to-school cut. I only covered my head to keep the sun from scorching my pasty white scalp. As she sat in the chair that I use to frequent, hmmm...it's been a year since my experience with hair color, she saw a schoolmate also in for a before school do.

    To make a long hair story short, her school chum had lost her grandfather a few days earlier to cancer and she wanted to do something to honor him, so she was donating her hair to Locks of Love.

    Before I left the salon, and with a tear in my eye, I thanked her for us.

    Damn, when did I get so emotional?
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #7
    I never quiet understood that
    How does someone else feeling miserable (bald) make me feel better???
    I wouldn't want them to feel bad as well.

    But I like the idea of donating to locks of love, i want to grow my hair
    and then get it cut and make a wig and give ti to a woman going through
    cancer. Can you imagine her face?

    I think there are so many better way to show your support. Small ways,
    such as cards, calls or bigger ways drop off groceries, clean a house,
    babysit.. the list is long.

    Hugs,
    Ayse
  • EllenaMaria
    EllenaMaria Member Posts: 69
    #8
    aysemari said:

    I never quiet understood that
    How does someone else feeling miserable (bald) make me feel better???
    I wouldn't want them to feel bad as well.

    But I like the idea of donating to locks of love, i want to grow my hair
    and then get it cut and make a wig and give ti to a woman going through
    cancer. Can you imagine her face?

    I think there are so many better way to show your support. Small ways,
    such as cards, calls or bigger ways drop off groceries, clean a house,
    babysit.. the list is long.

    Hugs,
    Ayse

    My family is Masonic. My
    My family is Masonic. My oldest sis has been In Rainbow Girls since she was a teen and has not missed the yearly Grand Assembly since joining. This year is like #35! For those not familiar this is an international girls youth group through the Masons. Anyhoo, a few years ago they announced doing a locks for love event. The girls all over CA spent the year growing their hair. At the GA they all got in a huge circle on the convention center floor with an adult "cutter" behind them. At the count of 3 they cut all the ponytails off. I think it was a Guiness Book event. My sis said they gathered enough hair for 75 wigs. It was an amazing event.

    Whenever someone tells me they want to support cancer I tell them to check themselves and to question even the slightest change. The only reason my cancer was caught was because I questioned something that every doctor, surgeons/onc, all thought was nothing.

    My daughter was fortunate to have a breast bud that concerned us. She knows what a strange bump feels like. I had my son feel my mass, through my shirt cause he was only 8.5 and although he was curious he was still a little shy. He was amazed at what it felt like. I think I did my part to help them.

    My husband has full cheeks in his family. Thank goodness he has really thick hair and has no chance of balding. That is one man who should not be bald, ever. It was bad enough that I had to be bald, I could just imagine my kids and husband showing support by shaving their heads. We would be known as the funny bald family forever.

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