so frustrated

carkris
carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
This is nothing compared to everyone elses battle. but I just have to vent, I am so tired of being tired. I started working and I love it and I still am good at it and feel I can do some good. But I cant do anything else and that is two 8 hour hour days!!! I do have over an hour commute each way and of course an 8 hour day is never really 8 hours. Plus for some reason people dont think I need lunch because I am not working a full 12 hour shift. people would say I have to be firm with my co workers but this is easier said than done. I have no energy, no patience, GRRRRRR. I feel like a cellphone that just winds down down down. I am waiting for some thyroid and CBC to come back. I think what is putting me over the edge is I have a virus, and a fever and it is beating the crap out of me. Even though I would not say it was that big of a virus. I also feel that I have lost all perspective, on what being sick really is. I was soooo bad during chemo, that this just doesnt seem so bad except the energy bit. I am still looking for the elusive med to help me sleep. anyway I am so discouraged, my body will not cooperate I wonder if I should just give in and be disabled. This doesnt seem like much of a life. tomorrow will be better, too many days of being able to do nothing.

Comments

  • Wolfi
    Wolfi Member Posts: 425
    #2
    Don't worry too much about not having enough energy. If you can get through a 10+ hour day for work and commuting then that's good enough for now. EAT YOUR LUNCH every day no matter who wants something from you - you need to eat and drink enough fluids so you can heal. (I am preaching to the choir here since I have a hard time taking time away from work for lunch, too.)

    If you have a virus and a fever you need to rest when you can and not let it bother you if some things don't get done for a while. Ask your doctor if you are having problems staying asleep - he or she may be able to give you something to help.

    Tomorrow will be better. If it's not, don't beat yourself up over it - just go with the flow and sleep when you can.

    I hope things get better for you soon. I know some of what you're going through and I know it is no fun.

    Take care!
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #3
    Wolfi said:

    Don't worry too much about not having enough energy. If you can get through a 10+ hour day for work and commuting then that's good enough for now. EAT YOUR LUNCH every day no matter who wants something from you - you need to eat and drink enough fluids so you can heal. (I am preaching to the choir here since I have a hard time taking time away from work for lunch, too.)

    If you have a virus and a fever you need to rest when you can and not let it bother you if some things don't get done for a while. Ask your doctor if you are having problems staying asleep - he or she may be able to give you something to help.

    Tomorrow will be better. If it's not, don't beat yourself up over it - just go with the flow and sleep when you can.

    I hope things get better for you soon. I know some of what you're going through and I know it is no fun.

    Take care!

    Sorry Penny
    Virus is not fun, you are still recovering from your invasive Cancer treatmen, Tamoxifen is the reason for sleep disruption and fatigue, lunch is a very important event. Please take time for lunch, do not forget your apple and vegetables.
    I can relate to your feeling,even I finished Chemotherapy and radiation in 2009, almost 2 years ago. Every Friday since I have returned to work I have been asking myself: should I really work full time and drive 1 hour each way? I love my job and I am good at it, I prefer more spare time.
    since I have been battling insomnia for 2 years now I have some tips. let me know if you are interested.

    it will be better, please be gentle to your self and love your body. Your body have been challenged in many ways and it needs time for adjustment Just give it time.
    sending you a big hug
    New Flower
  • ladyg
    ladyg Member Posts: 1,577
    #4
    Don't give up on yourself.
    Being tired all the time is no fun. You need to rest when you can and make sure you are eating. I don't know what kind of work you do but you sound like you do enjoy it. If you are working 5 days a week maybe you could cut back for a bit.
    I am sure there is something you can take to help you sleep better. Just hang in there, it will be better.

    Hugs,
    Georgia
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #5
    ladyg said:

    Don't give up on yourself.
    Being tired all the time is no fun. You need to rest when you can and make sure you are eating. I don't know what kind of work you do but you sound like you do enjoy it. If you are working 5 days a week maybe you could cut back for a bit.
    I am sure there is something you can take to help you sleep better. Just hang in there, it will be better.

    Hugs,
    Georgia

    I am a nurse. I am not even
    I am a nurse. I am not even up to my old hours. any advice on sleeping would be great, I have tried melatonin, and elavil, just got off ativan. (had to wean)
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #6
    Don't you dare beat up on yourself
    Dear carkris,

    you poor little body has endured so much and put up such a fierce fight
    that a little virus can really, really suck the life out of you. Please be kind
    to yourself and do NOT stress if you can.

    Hopefully, you will get over this virus soon and recover to your old energy levels!!

    sending you lotsa hugs!!

    Ayse
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #7
    carkris said:

    I am a nurse. I am not even
    I am a nurse. I am not even up to my old hours. any advice on sleeping would be great, I have tried melatonin, and elavil, just got off ativan. (had to wean)

    My tips
    1. Melatonin never gives me more than 6 hours, I use it on rare occasion.
    2. I was on and off Ambient for about 12 months, still take 2.5 mg (1/2 of regular 5 mg tablet)
    3. Lunesta works, however it gives me bad, wired dreams.
    Herbal teas have worked well :
    a. tried Yogi tea with Kava (stress relief) it did help me a lot.
    b. Sleepytime Extra from Celestial
    c. Kava-Kava power tea

    Trigger point injection with lidocaine at West-East clinic along with acupuncture
    Please let me know if you have more question
  • Marsha Mulvey
    Marsha Mulvey Member Posts: 597 Member
    #8
    aysemari said:

    Don't you dare beat up on yourself
    Dear carkris,

    you poor little body has endured so much and put up such a fierce fight
    that a little virus can really, really suck the life out of you. Please be kind
    to yourself and do NOT stress if you can.

    Hopefully, you will get over this virus soon and recover to your old energy levels!!

    sending you lotsa hugs!!

    Ayse

    gone with the wind
    I don't have any real advice but like Scarlet said, "Tomorrow is another day." Give yourself a chance to get back into the routine. This much I know: Just when I think things are getting better, I wake up certain I was hit by a Mack truck. BUT on the other hand, sometimes I feel pretty bad and the next day I wake feeling like I'm 40 again! lol
    The one thing that's certain is that NOTHING is certain. Keep plugging!
    Marsha
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #9
    I don't really have anything
    I don't really have anything new to add...I do agree with others. Give yourself more time, rest when you can, and be selfish about your lunches. I hope the virus is gone soon.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • joannstar
    joannstar Member Posts: 403 Member
    #10
    We are so hard on ourselves!!
    When I was getting my neulasta shot on Sunday (my last one...yeah!!), I mentioned to the nurse that I felt bad because I didn't have the energy to exercise and have gained weight. She looked at me and said, "you are working full time right? Isn't that enough? Stop feeling that you have to do more!". And I realized that I am not being gentle enough with ME. Even if you are not back to your old hours, you can only do what you can do. Remember that!
    The only way I got any sleep for the last 2 months was with 12.5 mg Ambien CR & 2 benedryl capsules at night. This gave me between 6 and 7 hours of sleep, but I did have some weird dreams.
    My humble advice is to stop SHOULDING yourself and be more gentle. Everything takes time.
    Hugs,
    JoAnn
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #11
    joannstar said:

    We are so hard on ourselves!!
    When I was getting my neulasta shot on Sunday (my last one...yeah!!), I mentioned to the nurse that I felt bad because I didn't have the energy to exercise and have gained weight. She looked at me and said, "you are working full time right? Isn't that enough? Stop feeling that you have to do more!". And I realized that I am not being gentle enough with ME. Even if you are not back to your old hours, you can only do what you can do. Remember that!
    The only way I got any sleep for the last 2 months was with 12.5 mg Ambien CR & 2 benedryl capsules at night. This gave me between 6 and 7 hours of sleep, but I did have some weird dreams.
    My humble advice is to stop SHOULDING yourself and be more gentle. Everything takes time.
    Hugs,
    JoAnn

    I am sorry that you are
    I am sorry that you are under the weather and that you are still experiencing fatigue. That is understandable. It will take a while before you have real energy back. As far as the working 8 hours and people thinking you don't need lunch. It is my understanding (at least in California) that they are required to give you a lunch break when you work over 6 hours in a day. Eating is very important to keeping un your energy and for your general health. Even if it is a grab and go, eat each day. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are back to work in a stress inducing job and you will get stronger and less tired with time.
    Stef
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #12
    fauxma said:

    I am sorry that you are
    I am sorry that you are under the weather and that you are still experiencing fatigue. That is understandable. It will take a while before you have real energy back. As far as the working 8 hours and people thinking you don't need lunch. It is my understanding (at least in California) that they are required to give you a lunch break when you work over 6 hours in a day. Eating is very important to keeping un your energy and for your general health. Even if it is a grab and go, eat each day. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are back to work in a stress inducing job and you will get stronger and less tired with time.
    Stef

    Penny .. don't stress, or even beat yourself up ..
    you are doing GREAT, and much better than many of us here on our Board. It's hard to predict the outcome of any new situation, like going back to work after beating this BEAST - so take a minute to re-group and pat yourself on the back on a job well done -- working .. something many of us aspire to do -- in the coming months.

    Now .. really think .. are you taking out enough time during your 8 hour shift to replenish yourself, mentally, spiritally and energy wise? If not, you may need to re-examine your schedule, or move a few things around. Secondly, you need a lunch 1/2 hour or hour - otherwise - you will spin out of control, and stress will creep into your life.

    Put you feet up when on break (yes, you need breaks) - read a mindless trash magazine, or jump on your laptop -- and think first and foremost about you and your health.

    Strength and Courage,

    Vicki Sam
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #13
    so sorry you are
    so sorry you are stressed....being tired alone is bad ....

    I am up 3-4 x nightly...never feel like i have slept...

    So do what you can...try to not stress...I"ll be thinking of you...and hope you are feeling better...day by day
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #14
    disneyfan2008 said:

    so sorry you are
    so sorry you are stressed....being tired alone is bad ....

    I am up 3-4 x nightly...never feel like i have slept...

    So do what you can...try to not stress...I"ll be thinking of you...and hope you are feeling better...day by day

    I prob have a sinus
    I prob have a sinus infection so cant see the doc until tomorrow. But I am going to ask for ambien, I called the office. and get the sleepy time tea. nothing like laying there staring at the ceilin the sleep deprivation is awful. My job is too stressful to not be on the money. so thank you NF for your thoughtful suggestions and time. and everyone for their encouragement. sometimes i feel strong other times i feel like I am just sagging. Its nice to know its"normal"

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