update on my mom

Lap Exam confirmed EC has spread to the liver. Mom (Beautiful Betty) has stage IVb and they do not recommend any surgery. Sad news, not what we (Don and I) wanted to hear, and she is having trouble accepting it. She was expecting a surgery to remove the cancer and feels cheated out of a chance to enjoy life a little longer. She has been in the hospital since Monday's Lap Exam because they had to do a full incision instead of the "little cuts" due to a past surgery in the 80's that left a lot of scar tissue. The doctor put the power port in and that has been a blessing this week already! The doctor also got the jtube inserted and she is doing well with that. She should get out of the hospital today and we have an appointment with Dr. Schwarz, a Medical Oncologist, this afternoon. She really wants treatment to begin soon but everything is still so slow. Even her recovery from her procedures on Monday has been very slow. I am not sure mom has the strength to do chemo, she has the will and the want, but I am concerned about her ability to push herself to the extreme. I don't see her doing that now and so I worry about her not doing it later.

Today I struggle with my feelings, faith and facts. Instead of them being lined up on the railroad tracks, like they normally are, I feel like they are in a giant stew pot getting stirred around by a big spoon. There are moments of clarity and comfort, but then a tidal wave of questions and "what ifs" hit me and I feel like I am being swept away. I just got a new Bible for the new year and I am reading through the Bible in a year. It is a Message Bible and I like the way Eugene Peterson writes and translates the Bible. He says, "As we read we enter a new world of words and find ourselves in on a conversation in which God has the first and last word. We soon realize that we are included in the conversation." I am so thankful for God's Word and that it is fact. I believe what God says is true:>) Eugene also says, "This is a world of revelation: God revealing to people just like us-men and women created in God's image-how God works and what is going on in this world in which we find ourselves. At the same time that God reveals all this, God draws us in by invitation and command to participate in God's working life. We gradually realize that we are insiders in the most significant action of our time as God establishes his grand rule of love and justice in this earth (as it is in heaven)."

My faith is in God. Revelation is what makes the Bible unique. It is while reading God's word that I receive a revelation, something I couldn't figure out on my own, and I am blessed by God's illumination. Sounds a little "new age" but it is as old as God. God listens when we pray, He answers in ways that matter and make a difference in our lives. I am listening for His voice today as we check mom out of the hospital and then visit with one more doctor about treatment. Treatment. She wants it but can she handle it? Keep us in your prayers. Thank you.
Wanda