I Missed You all Very Much!!!
Hi everybody,
I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and New Year!! I missed you all so very much and apologized for my abrupt disappearance:( I had some personal (marital issue) that I needed to sort through. I want to explain my disappearing act and hope I am forgiven
My husband and I are a young couple that did not plan for cancer to invade our lives after only one and a half years of marriage. Nobody plans for cancer but when you're young, a newlywed, about to plan a family and a career, and a terminal illness is exposed, it take an emotional, physical toll on the patient and the caregiver. We just couldn't handle the stress of hospital visits, surgeries, bills, trips to the ER, loss of income due to my unemployment, the possibility of foreclosure on the 1st home we bought, the inability of us ever being able to have the chance to start a family, and uncertainty of life in general. I became recluse and he needed support. So, unfortunately, I discovered that he was reaching out to others for the things I couldn't provide. I know I have issues and so does he so we are working to fix us. Like my diagnosis I do not know what's going to happen between us but I know and he too knows that we need and want to try and work on this. So there it is. I have moved out while we try to piece back our lives together and its HARD. I deal daily with anger, disappointment, distrust, betrayal and other emotions that come along with an emotional affair, but I am feeling these emotions which reminds me that I am ALIVE and that’s GREAT!! RIGHT?? So ..................Next topicI had a CT scan last month and the results are the following.
Liver in Clear
No Signs of disease in rectum/colon.
BUT,......... Yes there is a BUT...
Thymus is enlarged.
From past post I learned that this could be a negative sign. But I will scan again in 3 months. My oncologist feels that I have nothing to worry about she stated that it is very common for young patients to experience a thymus rebound, so I'm focusing on that. And finally, I have low platelet count of 87. Can anyone suggest what I can do to improve my count. I am suppose to have surgery to repair radiation damage but cannot do so until my counts are in the normal range.
Again, I missed you all so much and look forward to reconnecting with you all again. I also want to welcome all the new faces I've seen around here. I hate that you too are on this crazy journey but you are guaranteed good support, sincere concern and above all an extended "family" that always understand. :)Melissa
Comments
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Welcome back
So sorry to hear of your added troubles. I hope that you and your husband are able to recapture the love and devotion that led you to marry.
Glad to hear that your scan are looking good.
Hugs,
Marie who loves kitties0 -
Update
Thanks for the update and I'm so glad that you posted. Was wondering how you were doing and it sounds like you have a tough situation to deal with in the last couple months. First, sorry that things are bad with marriage. Yes dealing with this type of cancer brings on many issues. We are still working on getting through this, but it is getting better. Even with the most supportive of spouses, the emotions we emit while going through this can cut through the best of marriages. Sounds like your scan came out generally good since your doctor doesn't feel that it is serious. Platelet counts are tricky as there is really no good way to get them up as far as I've been told. Hope that your surgery goes well and wishing you a speedy recovery (whenever you can get your surgery that is). Keep us posted and missed you too.
Kim0 -
Thank YouAnnabelle41415 said:Update
Thanks for the update and I'm so glad that you posted. Was wondering how you were doing and it sounds like you have a tough situation to deal with in the last couple months. First, sorry that things are bad with marriage. Yes dealing with this type of cancer brings on many issues. We are still working on getting through this, but it is getting better. Even with the most supportive of spouses, the emotions we emit while going through this can cut through the best of marriages. Sounds like your scan came out generally good since your doctor doesn't feel that it is serious. Platelet counts are tricky as there is really no good way to get them up as far as I've been told. Hope that your surgery goes well and wishing you a speedy recovery (whenever you can get your surgery that is). Keep us posted and missed you too.
Kim
Kim and Maria Thank you both Very Much!! You guys are in my thoughts daily and I want everyone to know that they are not ever forgotten.0 -
Hey MelissaAnneCan said:Melissa
I am so sorry to hear of the marital issues. This cancer adds a huge burden to relationships, that is certain. I am really glad your scan came out so well. We have really missed you!
Man... you have had a full plate. Good to hear from you again. Have you tried probiotics? I just started taking them and wow... I was shocked to see the rise in some of my levels on my last blood test. I had only been on them 8 days and seen a rise in WBC and platelets... although my platelets were in good shape they still went up. My WBC is the highest it has been since I was on Neulasta. I don't know for sure if I can attribute the rise to the probotics because I also started taking Vit D and Creon. I don't know if they can effect those levels or not. My platelet count was 326 an now is 379. WBC was 5.1 and now is 7.3. Maybe someone else will chime in and shed some light on probiotics. What about raw organic foods????? Just some ideas....... Glad you are back! Take care.
Jennie0 -
Glad to hear from you
Melissa,
Glad to see a post from you, but so sorry about all the sadness you've been going through. I pray that you and your husband will be able to find your way back to a good place in your relationship. My husband and I will be married 35 years in March, and even with such a long relationship, cancer threw us for a loop. Nothing as serious as what you're going through, but it does change the dynamic. I'm sure it's hard to work through that when you don't have a long history to hold you up.
The scan news sounds good, and I'm praying that you will only have good news in your future, dear.
*hugs*
Gail0 -
Melissa,
I am so sorry for
Melissa,
I am so sorry for what you are going through, and you are so young. I read your "about me" page and you have such a positive outlook. Sounds like your treatment is having good results. That's great! I will add you to my prayers dear one.
(hugs)
April0 -
Melissa, sorry to hear of
Melissa, sorry to hear of all the difficult things you are dealing with. Keep up the strength and keep up the fight. God Bless. Petrina0 -
Hi Mellisa, my heart goes
Hi Mellisa, my heart goes out to you tenfold! Be true to your feelings about the situation, deal with them, then put them away in a box in case you need to visit them off and on.
I know...sounds loopy. But this advice helped me through a bad divorce, once I got myself trained to do it. That and bless everyone that hurts you with love. It really helped me keep my emotions in check... my wise Mommy gave me this advice, she's a peach she is. (o:
Wishing you great health...physically and emotionally!
Chriss0 -
So Sorry
So sorry for what you have been going through. Unfortunately this seems so common with cancer...I know it is hard for the family members to actually understand the physical and emotional drains of this disease. I have been rather ill-tempered with my husband throughout this and of course he hasn't been a real prince either. We have been married over 30 years, but the stress and changes are something you don't just smile at and forget. Luckily we have not had the financial woes as my husband has a good job with good insurance.
You are the same age as my son.....So sorry that this awful beast hit you at such a young age.
The doctors and insurance companies need to learn to recognize that young people are also affected by colon cancer.
Wishing you all the best!
Take Care!
Barb0 -
Hello Melissajararno said:So Sorry
So sorry for what you have been going through. Unfortunately this seems so common with cancer...I know it is hard for the family members to actually understand the physical and emotional drains of this disease. I have been rather ill-tempered with my husband throughout this and of course he hasn't been a real prince either. We have been married over 30 years, but the stress and changes are something you don't just smile at and forget. Luckily we have not had the financial woes as my husband has a good job with good insurance.
You are the same age as my son.....So sorry that this awful beast hit you at such a young age.
The doctors and insurance companies need to learn to recognize that young people are also affected by colon cancer.
Wishing you all the best!
Take Care!
Barb
hello you! so good to see you ....hear aching for you after all you have been through. Just a short note....to add to the marital list....I too have been married for 31 years and fighting cancer for 6 of those....it does stress/super stress the marriage Melissa....it's a hard road for both of you. sometimes I find myself withdrawn and wanting to be alone even when hubby is in the house. Good luck to both of you.
the health/cancer front sound good there girl.
lovely to see you
mags0 -
Melissa glad to see you posting again !maglets said:Hello Melissa
hello you! so good to see you ....hear aching for you after all you have been through. Just a short note....to add to the marital list....I too have been married for 31 years and fighting cancer for 6 of those....it does stress/super stress the marriage Melissa....it's a hard road for both of you. sometimes I find myself withdrawn and wanting to be alone even when hubby is in the house. Good luck to both of you.
the health/cancer front sound good there girl.
lovely to see you
mags
it seems scans are quite positive, so congratulations!
Have a big Hug!0 -
Welcome Back Melissa!
I am so sorry to hear about your marital problems. You don't need anymore stress in your life, but cancer seems to affect all those we love and care about. You are in my prayers and thoughts as you work through this. I am so glad you are back.
Big hugs,
Sara0 -
Hi Melissa
I am fairly new the the boards and just read your post. It breaks me up to hear of your marital struggles after the cancer strikes. I have had some relationship issues after diagnoses however just the opposite I tried pushing my girl away because i didnt want to burden her and she just would have no part of it. She has stuck by me with my butt sewed up tight and my colostomy. ( I cant figure it out )But i know one thing if the tables were turned I would do the same with her. Your story angers me because it hits close to home. And i feel bad that you have to deal with the relationship side of things while your trying to focus on staying alive and getting your health back.
My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you.
Tom0 -
hi Melissa
Hi Melissa,
I'm sorry to hear of your struggles w/ the marriage. Some people just ave a harder time handling such things, I guess. Life is hard enough with cancer and then when you're dealing with relationships suffering because of it plus all the other stresses of life, it almost seems unbearable sometimes. Keep going forward- I am hopeful that your husband will come around and give you that support and commitment you need. You are a survivor & you will get through it and do what is best for you, longterm. I pray you will be enlightened as to what that will be.
Hugs my dear,
Lisa0 -
Glad your back...
I can definately relate to the marital strains. My wife had a kidney transplant 2 months after we were married and I found out about my diagnosis on the very day of our 1 year anniversary. No honeymoon period for us for sure! Financial and emotional burdens come without question. Hopefully, you can work through it and get back on track. With regard to the blood levels, mine took a nose dive around treatment #4 or 5. Ended up getting a Neulasta shot and didn't have any problems with my counts going forward. Keep fighting on all fronts and you can get through it!
-DJ0 -
Hang in there, and try andP_I_T_A said:Glad your back...
I can definately relate to the marital strains. My wife had a kidney transplant 2 months after we were married and I found out about my diagnosis on the very day of our 1 year anniversary. No honeymoon period for us for sure! Financial and emotional burdens come without question. Hopefully, you can work through it and get back on track. With regard to the blood levels, mine took a nose dive around treatment #4 or 5. Ended up getting a Neulasta shot and didn't have any problems with my counts going forward. Keep fighting on all fronts and you can get through it!
-DJ
Hang in there, and try and stay positive. Positive vibes will help you get through this. Good to hear from you. Hugs!!0
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