My heart is heavy, and my brain is full

Katz77
Katz77 Member Posts: 598
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My heart goes out to everyone, waiting for tests, losing friends. Sweet Heidi. Moopy, meena, 24242, Marsha,Chen and any others fighting this ugly,ugly beast for the second time,keep updating us, good or bad. We're in your corner.
My tests are coming up again. Starting with bone density. That was today. UNoffical report says no holy bones. However few shaded dark areas on L-5. Although have had serious back issues for 4 yrs now. Pain injections,scoliosis and 2 bulging discs. Thats another story. lol
My friend that I work with was dx with the beast 2 months after burying her mother. Mom had bc 20yrs ago and came back and her little body and age could'nt fight it. My friend had lumpectomy x2. Shes Er positive. She does'nt want rads. They said she didnt have to have chemo. What is the "norm" on this. I of course cant advise her. Im er positive with bilat masts and all the cocktails and rads I could get. Nodes positive x 18 also. Any thoughts on my friend.
Here's to all of us in the constant war with what I see as pure evil that trys so hard to steal our well being. Love,courage and strength and prayers to all,Katz

Comments

  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    #2
    We all chose our own paths
    I opted out of chemo, but went all out with rads. Invite your friend to this board. Perhaps she'll look at her bc differently.

    You are a good friend. Be supportive, but take good care of yourself!

    Hugs,

    Sue
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #3
    I hate, and I don't usually
    I hate, and I don't usually use the word "hate", this beast and all the lives that are affected by it!! When I was dx, my oncologist went through the benefits of various treatments and the percentage of recurrence based on completing treatments. Your friend may not even have an oncologist considering that chemo is not recommended. But, I would hope that one of her docs can give her more information on the importance of rads. But, the bottom line, the ultimate decision will be made by her. It sounds like her cancer was caught early and I wish her a complete recovery and her chance to dance with NED. Good luck to you, too on your tests and I'm hoping for all clear results. Take care.
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #4
    MyTurnNow said:

    I hate, and I don't usually
    I hate, and I don't usually use the word "hate", this beast and all the lives that are affected by it!! When I was dx, my oncologist went through the benefits of various treatments and the percentage of recurrence based on completing treatments. Your friend may not even have an oncologist considering that chemo is not recommended. But, I would hope that one of her docs can give her more information on the importance of rads. But, the bottom line, the ultimate decision will be made by her. It sounds like her cancer was caught early and I wish her a complete recovery and her chance to dance with NED. Good luck to you, too on your tests and I'm hoping for all clear results. Take care.

    I think your friend is
    I think your friend is making the wrong decision, but I guess it is up to her. She should definitely go for radiation. Wondering what she is thinking, maybe she is still grieving for her mom and is unable to think this through.
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #5
    Choices
    We all have to make our own decisions about treatment..... But what always puzzles me is why people decide not to do all they can to fight this dreaded disease...I have said before, I would have jumped off the building if they had told me it would lessen my chances of dying from this dreaded disease! I over heard a woman at the cancer center tell someone she had bc, chemotherapy HIGHLY recommended..but she didn't want that poison ie chemotherapy in her body...I so wanted to but in and say..."Lady, what is more poisonous than CANCER?!!!!". I personally knew a woman who refused chem because she didn't want to lose her hair...instead, she lost her life one year ago!
    Again, this is just MY PERSONAL OPINION!
    Peace be with us all
  • mszw2
    mszw2 Member Posts: 4
    #6
    My personal opinion is DO
    My personal opinion is DO THE RADS! ! ! ! Don't think twice about it. If your friend is lucky enough to not have to do chemo then the GREAT, but don't forgo RADS.
    I did not have to do Chemo but I did do the RADS. I am so glad I did. The side effects were pretty much NONE. There are a couple of ways to do the rads and one of them makes the process only 2 weeks long. I went with a 16 week option, just because it didn't make much difference for me. I live less than 3 minutes away from the Breast Health Care Center and I did get tons of support by being there everyday. In addition, I made friends with people that went thru or were going thru the same thing as I was going thru. It helped me more than I can say. I truly hope your friend doesn't wait too long if she thinks she may change her mind. RADS is so worth the very minimal risks.
    Good Luck
    Many Prayers
    Linda
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    #7
    mszw2 said:

    My personal opinion is DO
    My personal opinion is DO THE RADS! ! ! ! Don't think twice about it. If your friend is lucky enough to not have to do chemo then the GREAT, but don't forgo RADS.
    I did not have to do Chemo but I did do the RADS. I am so glad I did. The side effects were pretty much NONE. There are a couple of ways to do the rads and one of them makes the process only 2 weeks long. I went with a 16 week option, just because it didn't make much difference for me. I live less than 3 minutes away from the Breast Health Care Center and I did get tons of support by being there everyday. In addition, I made friends with people that went thru or were going thru the same thing as I was going thru. It helped me more than I can say. I truly hope your friend doesn't wait too long if she thinks she may change her mind. RADS is so worth the very minimal risks.
    Good Luck
    Many Prayers
    Linda

    Hmmmm
    It's her life and she has the right to take whatever risks she wants, but I hope she gets lots of professional advice before she makes a final decision. When I first saw the radiation oncologist, I got the impression that some women do opt out of radiation. I sometimes wonder, how much difference everything I did made (surgery, chemo, rads, aromotase therapy). Every treatment I got, I was told it would decrease the likelihood of recurrence or metastasis to a distant site by X%. Seems like that risk must be reduced by at least 200% now since I threw the kitchen sink at it! Like others, once I got a cancer diagnosis, I was willing to do just about anything to keep it from coming back.

    Suzanne
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #8
    Katz, thank you for thinking
    Katz, thank you for thinking of me and others. It sounds like the bone density test was overall good, so you are off to a good start with this round of tests. Keep us posted. Wishing you continued good news.

    How awful for your friend, to be diagnosed so soon after losing her mother. I can't add much to what others have written as to what treatment your friend should do. I would definitely have radiation, and chemo if recommended also. My best wishes to her also.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #9
    Moopy23 said:

    Katz, thank you for thinking
    Katz, thank you for thinking of me and others. It sounds like the bone density test was overall good, so you are off to a good start with this round of tests. Keep us posted. Wishing you continued good news.

    How awful for your friend, to be diagnosed so soon after losing her mother. I can't add much to what others have written as to what treatment your friend should do. I would definitely have radiation, and chemo if recommended also. My best wishes to her also.

    From someone who had a local
    From someone who had a local recurrence after a small tumor, do the rads. local recurrence can happen.
  • Marsha Mulvey
    Marsha Mulvey Member Posts: 597 Member
    #10
    carkris said:

    From someone who had a local
    From someone who had a local recurrence after a small tumor, do the rads. local recurrence can happen.

    how were your holidays?
    Thanks for thinking of us. Hope your OFFICIAl results on bone density come back as good as the unofficial report sounds. Your friend, in conjunction with her doctor's recommendations must make the decision that is right for her. Since chemo seems to be my only "lifeline", you know I would push for it, but each of us are ruled by our own hearts and minds. It is possible that at this time the onc doesn't feel that chemo will be necessary, BUT they've been known to change their minds too! Take care as you "take on" the concerns of your friend's problems, even as you tackle your own. Best wishes to both of you. Talk to you later. Marsha
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #11
    Whatever decisions we make....
    they are the right decisions for us. No one should ever doubt a choice, even if later on something makes it seem like there could have been a better one. It's the best choice at the time....

    I have spoken to many women and men who have faced cancer. Surgery, chemo, rads, alternative medicine, complementary medicine, every mix and match you can imagine! The point is to be comfortable with and believe in your treatment path. Each has it's dangers. Chemo left me lactose intollerant. Rads took a piece of my lung and, with my rectal cancer, the density of my left hip. Regrets? No, it's what I chose, and that's it.

    My favorite expression is "It is what it is!". I am fortunate to be able to go on with my life, even with a dismal estimate of 6 months to live. That was 6 YEARS ago!

    I'm sending my best hugs for your scans!!!! Please keep us posted!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Katz77
    Katz77 Member Posts: 598
    #12
    Thank you
    Glad for everyones input. Hoping all are having a great new years with family and friends.
    Regarding my friend, shes was in the over research phase. Kept asking her to come here also. Shes not looking on every site that's out there now. I recieved my Cure mag and it had alot of info on rads. Gave it to her. She sees her onc to discuss options. Think she will do the rads. Shes saying rada can give you cancer. My "arguement" was you have cancer now. Your rads isnt your mothers rads. Reminded her her mom went almost 20 yrs cancer free. Maybe shes lurking on this site waiting to join is.
    Know shes still realing from her diagnosis and the loss of her mom. Im just standing by. Shes a smart girl. She wants to live. Shes mid 30s, no kids, but a wonderful husband thats there for her. Again thanks to everyone, and happy test results for all. Hugs from NM,Katz
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #13
    Katz77 said:

    Thank you
    Glad for everyones input. Hoping all are having a great new years with family and friends.
    Regarding my friend, shes was in the over research phase. Kept asking her to come here also. Shes not looking on every site that's out there now. I recieved my Cure mag and it had alot of info on rads. Gave it to her. She sees her onc to discuss options. Think she will do the rads. Shes saying rada can give you cancer. My "arguement" was you have cancer now. Your rads isnt your mothers rads. Reminded her her mom went almost 20 yrs cancer free. Maybe shes lurking on this site waiting to join is.
    Know shes still realing from her diagnosis and the loss of her mom. Im just standing by. Shes a smart girl. She wants to live. Shes mid 30s, no kids, but a wonderful husband thats there for her. Again thanks to everyone, and happy test results for all. Hugs from NM,Katz

    Good luck on all your tests,
    Good luck on all your tests, Katz.
    I went thru all the drs. threw at me. Who wants to go thru chemo, and rads. None of us, but we have to, to save our life. This is all the medical field has at this time to wipe out cancer. I told my dr., " I don't want to take chemo." She says, "if you don't there won't be a you. Get it?"

    Cancer is what oncologists deal with. If one doesn't believe or trust the dr. then go to another. When the drs. say, "take chemo" they can't all be wrong. Your friend really needs to rethink her decision.

Discussion Boards