Happy New Year to Everyone

Hi all:

Basketcase checking in here. Hope everyone is having a Happy New Year. The "boys" and I ushered in the New Year quietly and alone. TN lost its bowl game but hey, we're just happy we got to a bowl game this year!

I'm beginning to feel like I might be heading toward hitting that brick wall so many have told me happens. I have been pretty busy since Charlie passed away in August which doesn't seem like it's almost 5 months. I was pretty emotional yesterday. I don't think this ever gets any easier; just more bearable maybe. I do have a friend that's coming over tommorrow afternoon and spending the afternoon and night with me before she goes back to Chatt. on Monday sometime. She's at her cousin's house right now not too far from me.

I'm so thankful for this website and all of y'all because I know y'all truly know how it is and never have to worry about anybody saying , "Gee it's been almost 5 months, you should be over this by now!" I've heard of people actually telling people in my situation that! Obviously they haven't experienced circumstances such as cancer and its ugliness, fortunately for them.

It's just that I am missing Charlie really bad right now. And yes, as a Christmas ornament I saw says, "If I could build a stairway to heaven I would and bring you back home", I would do that! But I also know he wouldn't come back even if he could because he's now cancer free. I'm not planning on going anywhere for awhile as I have to start going through this house and getting rid of some stuff. You know, when you do that and it feels so good to get rid of stuff and junk and then in a year or two it seems to have piled back in.

I don't know if I ever shared with y'all the bit about his company paid life insurance or not. But it's supposed to be equal to one year's salary and what I got wasn't anywhere close about half is what is was. Well, his brother got to reading the employee manual and found this out; so I have been haggling with them over this and have not touched what I did get. I was very nice and grateful for what I did get as I know some widows out there don't get anything, but the fact remained that he worked for over 26 years and it just seemed that there was a discrepecency. Well, at others insistence I kept pushing (as my best friend said, "I want you to be like the widow in the bible and don't give up!") and on Dec. 2 I received a phone call that the amount had been corrected to about 3 times what I got. Now I haven't received it yet; but did talk with the ins. company on Dec.21 before I left for NC and they have assured me it's coming. What this means for me is I can buy back my years I took out of Teacher retirement and pay off the last major credit card we had. So it was certainly worth the trouble. But what bothers me is what if I hadn't kept pushing and how many widows/widowers don't keep pushing and don't get what they should! I just don't know how these companies can get away with that. But my brother-in-law said, they do and they don't count on people digging and going to that much trouble to get to the bottom of it. Thank the good Lord, I have my brother in law (Charlie's brother to advise) He's also going to do my taxes, as Charlie always took care of that, and I don't the first thing about doing taxes and frankly don't want to know! Oh, has anybody out there familiar with cobra insurance and how long can you do that? I started having to do that in Oct. and according to the State Health Benefit people if I can keep it cobraed till retirement age which is 60 for me and I'll be 58 this July, it will be at the retirement rate with my retirement. I don't know if it's because I was vested this year with the school system or what. Just wondered about that.

Anyway, just wanted to share that with y'all and wish you a Happy New Year. Gotta run and do some laundry, errands, and of course pick up the house a bit. Love y'all and God Bless!

Jan