New Discoveries

Friends,

The amount of useful information available on the internet is simply amazing. Since being diagnosed with cancer, I have become somewhat of an internet sleuth, always sniffing out the best information available regarding the prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of cancer. Let me tell you that the latest discovery I have unearthed is astounding! I was particularly interested in this because the science was attributed to Johns Hopkins, where I am going for an evaluation soon. This information belongs within the realm of secret cures and I understand it was being protected by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (known as DARPA) until being disclosed by a Mr. Lloyd Winburn, an obvious cover name used by none other than Julian Assange. Are you ready for this amazing revelation? Here it is, and I quote from the byline “CANCER IS NOT GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH”. I am not making this up! If you want to see for yourself, simply follow this link:

http://lloydrwinburn.blogspot.com/2009/08/new-study-on-cancer-from-johns-hopkins.html

After reading this amazing discovery, I once again became so grateful to Al Gore for inventing the internet, thereby allowing us mere mortals to access these previously unknown discoveries. I hear this revelation may garner Mr. Gore a Nobel Prize for Medicine, as his invention of the internet resulted in the medical breakthrough to be shared with the common people.

If you read the entire article (and why would you not when the byline attests to its credibility) you will see that plastic also causes cancer. A little detective work shows how the plastic industry is trying to fool us on this. For example, plastic bags from dry cleaners state you should not let children play with them and should not put them over your own head. The stated reason for these warnings is the risk of suffocation, but the real reason is that plastic causes cancer! I have had a bad cough and cold over the past week and my plan was to wrap my face in Saran Wrap at bedtime, so I would not breathe in any damaging particles. Thankfully, I read this article because I don’t want to get another dose of cancer from the Saran Wrap, so I scrapped my plan and am looking for an alternate that does not cause cancer, which is getting harder to find. (Thanks again to Al Gore)

Another discovery I read about is the use of therapy dogs for cancer patients. Now, I don’t know about you, but lying on a couch and explaining my childhood to a Golden Retriever just doesn’t seem like it would be of much benefit. I told my doctor this, and he said I was thinking of the wrong type of therapy. I think I get it now; If you are scheduled for a PET scan and do not own a pet they will loan you one of these therapy dogs to be scanned. I am not sure what they do for CAT scans, as I am not aware of any therapy cat program.

I wish you all a great Holiday season. As I make more discoveries, I’ll be sure to share them with you, even though it may lead to me being imprisoned in a mansion, sipping champagne with my Wiki Leaks counterpart.

Best wishes always

John