Family sabbatical

ketziah35
ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
If my mother wasn't sick, I would take a 3 month sabbatical from my family. My brother is a deadbeat son and my mother is defending his deadbeat actions. He doesn't do anything and I do everything for her and I get no acknowledgement. I took a 4 month sabbatical one time and that felt good.

I am really sick of them the cleaning and waiting on someone and not getting a fkn break for it.

Comments

  • Pennymac02
    Pennymac02 Member Posts: 332 Member
    #2
    Too bad we don't get to pick
    Too bad we don't get to pick out families, huh? I can understand your cleaning and waiting on your mom, but I'd like to give your brother a kick in the pants. Its amazing how people raised in the same family can be so different.

    Virtual ((hugs)) for you, Ketz, and virtual ^^Kicks^^for him. What an ****.
    Penny
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #3
    Pennymac02 said:

    Too bad we don't get to pick
    Too bad we don't get to pick out families, huh? I can understand your cleaning and waiting on your mom, but I'd like to give your brother a kick in the pants. Its amazing how people raised in the same family can be so different.

    Virtual ((hugs)) for you, Ketz, and virtual ^^Kicks^^for him. What an ****.
    Penny

    He is calling me little Nazi
    He is calling me little Nazi cuz I have to delegate for him to do work and I called him DeasdbeatAm I haven'( had a vacation since last Christmas. I think I am going to try to leave early. If I am not aPpreciated my brother can take care of my mother. You think he will? Not! I am so pissed I can not sleep,
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #4
    work with your mom
    Ketz, I'm a little farther along this path. My mom has had her remission and is now looking at end stage issues. Fortunately my brothers have all been great, though they don't "get it" the same way I do. Mom has a couple of friends who have been tremendously helpful, too.

    Plan an extended break -- at one point I think I got 7 continuous weeks! Still, I called Mom almost ever day to coach her on self care, which is a big job for an elderly cancer patient. Over time we have become the A team. I'm the one Mom shares things with and who helps keep up with all the details. Nobody can do this but me, which sounds like your situation, too.

    I'm on a one-week break right now, but whether I'm home or with Mom I praise her every day on what a great job she is doing taking care of herself. I think she deeply appreciates the recognition.

    I keep Mom's house ridiculously clean, too. I hate her central vac.
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #5
    Barbara53 said:

    work with your mom
    Ketz, I'm a little farther along this path. My mom has had her remission and is now looking at end stage issues. Fortunately my brothers have all been great, though they don't "get it" the same way I do. Mom has a couple of friends who have been tremendously helpful, too.

    Plan an extended break -- at one point I think I got 7 continuous weeks! Still, I called Mom almost ever day to coach her on self care, which is a big job for an elderly cancer patient. Over time we have become the A team. I'm the one Mom shares things with and who helps keep up with all the details. Nobody can do this but me, which sounds like your situation, too.

    I'm on a one-week break right now, but whether I'm home or with Mom I praise her every day on what a great job she is doing taking care of herself. I think she deeply appreciates the recognition.

    I keep Mom's house ridiculously clean, too. I hate her central vac.

    I think I would do better to
    I think I would do better to leave and never sPeak to my family again. I think I would have aa better life if I would sever the relationship with my family.
  • Hopeful720
    Hopeful720 Member Posts: 89
    #6
    I understand
    I am so sorry you're dealing with additional stress and pain. I completely understanding needing a sabbatical from family members (as well as other people in our lives). Sometimes we just need a break, especially when the people in our lives are not easing our pains and anxieties, but adding to them.
  • hope0310
    hope0310 Member Posts: 320
    #7
    ketziah35 said:

    I think I would do better to
    I think I would do better to leave and never sPeak to my family again. I think I would have aa better life if I would sever the relationship with my family.

    Hate to hear that....
    But totally get it, at least from hubbies side. Mine were great through it all but we STILL needed a break from each other!

    Take care and do what you need to do for YOU!!!

    Be good to yourself!!
    Elysia
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #8
    Hopeful720 said:

    I understand
    I am so sorry you're dealing with additional stress and pain. I completely understanding needing a sabbatical from family members (as well as other people in our lives). Sometimes we just need a break, especially when the people in our lives are not easing our pains and anxieties, but adding to them.

    I am so angry! I have spent
    I am so angry! I have spent about 6 grAnd dealing with my moms illness since May. The house repairs the cleaning services the washer and dryer etc. My brother has not done a thing! He didn't even bring my parents a Xmas gift. I really want to change my phone number and forget them. When I was 10 I wrote a letter to Nancy ReagAn asking her to adopt me. I am still waiting for my real family.
  • hope0310
    hope0310 Member Posts: 320
    #9
    ketziah35 said:

    I am so angry! I have spent
    I am so angry! I have spent about 6 grAnd dealing with my moms illness since May. The house repairs the cleaning services the washer and dryer etc. My brother has not done a thing! He didn't even bring my parents a Xmas gift. I really want to change my phone number and forget them. When I was 10 I wrote a letter to Nancy ReagAn asking her to adopt me. I am still waiting for my real family.

    let it out...
    It's good to let it out and vent....

    I say it is time to say good riddens to your brother, he is sucking the life out of you. Move on, he will get what is coming to him. Picture yourself as an only child, then he cannot disappoint you. When you expect nothing, the nothing does not sting as bad.

    I will apopt you, although I sense we are around the same age.....then we will just run away, been thinking about it myself!

    Big hug....Elysia
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #10
    hope0310 said:

    let it out...
    It's good to let it out and vent....

    I say it is time to say good riddens to your brother, he is sucking the life out of you. Move on, he will get what is coming to him. Picture yourself as an only child, then he cannot disappoint you. When you expect nothing, the nothing does not sting as bad.

    I will apopt you, although I sense we are around the same age.....then we will just run away, been thinking about it myself!

    Big hug....Elysia

    When we run away can we go
    When we run away can we go to Greece ?
  • Hopeful720
    Hopeful720 Member Posts: 89
    #11
    ketziah35 said:

    When we run away can we go
    When we run away can we go to Greece ?

    Can I ...
    Come to Greece, too? Or maybe Italy?

    Thinking of all of you. I hope you're having a peaceful night. Do what feels right for you.
  • hope0310
    hope0310 Member Posts: 320
    #12
    ketziah35 said:

    When we run away can we go
    When we run away can we go to Greece ?

    Calendar wide open!!!!
    Greece sounds good too me!!!

    Just have to be back in May to see my oldest graduate from college!!
  • Pennymac02
    Pennymac02 Member Posts: 332 Member
    #13
    hope0310 said:

    Calendar wide open!!!!
    Greece sounds good too me!!!

    Just have to be back in May to see my oldest graduate from college!!

    Me too!
    Greece or Italy for me, too. How about a cruise of the Greek Isles on a ridiculously luxurious cruise ship, lots of umbrella drinks. I'll take the virgin kind, tho.
    Penny

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