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Actsassy
Actsassy Member Posts: 37
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I was diagnosed with colon cancer 1-1/2 yr ago. Was set for surgery and doing pre-op test found cancer went to liver. I have SEVERAL lesions on liver. I cancelled my surgery and went to Karmanos Cancer Center in Detroit for 2nd opinion. I am Stage IV. They cannot do surgery because lesions are on both sides of liver. They feel they can "control it" with chemo. So, in July of '09, I started my chemo treatmentt. I had infusions and xeloda pills. Two weeks on xeloda and one week off. The infusion was once every 3 weeks. I went for 7 cycles. I did have some side effects. Some mild nausea after treatment, fatigue a couple of days after treatment and i did get blisters on the bottom of my feet. Did cut down xeloda from 3 in am to 2 in pm. A year ago last christmas my onco said the lesions had all shrunk and barely detectable. I was done with all chemo at that time. This past summer in July, I had a ct scan and my lesions started waking up. Nothing major but still waking up. Onco decided to wait and see if we should start chemo again. In this time I started have symptoms like pain in my pelvic area and blood in the stools again. I also have anxiety/panic. At this point i started freaking out. So, in September went in for another ct scan and they woke up a bit more. They started me back on Xeloda. 3 in am and 2 in pm. Same schedule, no infusions. HOORAY for that! In early November, my pa had me go in for a sigmoid to do anitgen testing of my tumor in colon. I got the results back and my levels and numbers are normal and it's showing no signs of cancer growth! I just saw my pa this past Wednesday and I will be having a ct scan done on the 28th of this month. I am still having anxiety with all this. Part of it is that when i was good last year I thought (stupidly, I guess) that it was gone for good. The reality is that I have to live with this the rest of my life. I am not good with dealing with death and not having control. Also, in these past few months I've had other issues to deal with. The day that I had my ct/scan in September my husband had a heart attack and had to have a quad by-pass. Thankfully, he is recovering and doing very, very good. Then the day before Thanksgiving we were involved in a car accident that totaled our car. We were on our way to Karmanos for my pa appt. I got the brunt of the impact. The air bag went off and the restraint of the seat belt caused me to have chest wall injuries. Still having some pain in the shoulder but getting better. I am so very fearful and I can't seem to be happy with the news that it is showing no cancer growth.
I'd love to hear from anyone on how to deal with this.

Comments

  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    #2
    hello and welcome
    I am so very glad to meet you....thanks for stopping into this forum. You have been through a lot and it is very understable that you are anxious. I too am stage 4 with colon and then major mets to liver....twice.

    Not going to be too wordy today....no sage advice....actually am just baking shortbread but I wanted to say hi....and I feel feel anxious a lot....

    big welcome hugs

    maggie
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    #3
    Actsassy -

    I was trying to figure out if your "name" is pronounced
    "Act sassy" or "Acts assy"..... My sis-in-law would be the latter..

    Ok, seriously now....

    Re:
    "I can't seem to be happy with the news that it is showing no cancer growth."

    Welcome to the "club". It's a club for misfits. We all worry about
    cancer 24/7/365, starting from the time we accepted our diagnosis.

    It's the normal state of affairs for us, and how could it be otherwise?

    Let's face it, the cancer started to grow inside us, undetected, and
    continued to grow, perhaps for years, undetected. It leaves us
    concerned that we can't trust our own body to tell us when there's
    something wrong!

    The fact is, there wasn't anything "wrong" in any way that was causing
    us to be unhealthy, it was just a damaged normal cell, that instead of
    being carted off by our immune system, was left to survive by whatever
    means it could.... so it did... by a very basic method called the
    fermentation process. And until that cell grew large enough that it was
    taking up more room than it's healthy surrounding area could support,
    it wasn't anything to be concerned with.

    So in reality, there's actually no valid reason we shouldn't trust our
    own body; what's happened is a fluke of nature. This thing called
    cancer can be fought if we desire to fight it.

    But..... we all still worry, and become anxious, and paranoid, and
    of course.... depressed. It's normal. It's normal for all of us.

    There are many ways to do battle against cancer; and chemo/radiation
    are just two. I strongly suggest you learn about the various ways others
    have successfully used, before getting too deeply involved in any one
    specific method.

    I have a simple philosophy:
    Nothing you take to "get better" should ever make you feel "worse".

    It's simple.

    Wishing you the best of health!

    John
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    #4
    John23 said:

    Actsassy -

    I was trying to figure out if your "name" is pronounced
    "Act sassy" or "Acts assy"..... My sis-in-law would be the latter..

    Ok, seriously now....

    Re:
    "I can't seem to be happy with the news that it is showing no cancer growth."

    Welcome to the "club". It's a club for misfits. We all worry about
    cancer 24/7/365, starting from the time we accepted our diagnosis.

    It's the normal state of affairs for us, and how could it be otherwise?

    Let's face it, the cancer started to grow inside us, undetected, and
    continued to grow, perhaps for years, undetected. It leaves us
    concerned that we can't trust our own body to tell us when there's
    something wrong!

    The fact is, there wasn't anything "wrong" in any way that was causing
    us to be unhealthy, it was just a damaged normal cell, that instead of
    being carted off by our immune system, was left to survive by whatever
    means it could.... so it did... by a very basic method called the
    fermentation process. And until that cell grew large enough that it was
    taking up more room than it's healthy surrounding area could support,
    it wasn't anything to be concerned with.

    So in reality, there's actually no valid reason we shouldn't trust our
    own body; what's happened is a fluke of nature. This thing called
    cancer can be fought if we desire to fight it.

    But..... we all still worry, and become anxious, and paranoid, and
    of course.... depressed. It's normal. It's normal for all of us.

    There are many ways to do battle against cancer; and chemo/radiation
    are just two. I strongly suggest you learn about the various ways others
    have successfully used, before getting too deeply involved in any one
    specific method.

    I have a simple philosophy:
    Nothing you take to "get better" should ever make you feel "worse".

    It's simple.

    Wishing you the best of health!

    John

    Hi l'm stage 4 too, I'm anxious as well!
    Hugs!
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #5
    Welcome
    Glad that you found us, but sorry you had to. It sounds like you have had a rough 1 1/2 years. Most patients find that after being diagnosed they have anxiety or depression so this is very common and a lot of them go on some type of medication. You might want to talk to your doctor if you already aren't on something. Good news is that your husband is recovering so well. You are fortunate too that you weren't hurt worse in that accident, but sorry that you were hurt at all. Sounds like an injury such as yours that it would take a while for you to heal. Once again, welcome.

    Kim
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    #6
    Stress
    Hi Actsassy. I am so sorry you are having all of this to deal with. I honestly don't know how you couldn't feel stress. Just the cancer is stressful and of course you worry for your Husband (I'm glad to hear he is recovering), and now the accident issues. I am stage 3 colorectal, so not dealing with quite the same treatments, but still having many of the same things to think about as you. You are not alone my friend. How do I personally do it?....I just don't go much beyond day to day and sometimes moment to moment. I'm not normally an anxious person. Since my diagnoses last June and over the last few months, I have changed my perspective on what really, really matters. My health, my family, my children, and whatever makes me happy and comfortable. I used to always put others first, but I have changed that outlook. If I am feeling good, comfortable, or what ever about something, it seems to set the pace for others around me....... This works for me. But, I also have Ativan and Xanax, because I won't deny I have days like that too. Just not that often. Wishing you lot's good thoughts and a warm hug too!

    Gail
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #7
    Hello + welcome, actsassy!
    I too was diagnosed about a little more that a year + 1/2 ago; in March/09. I underwent radiation + chemo for 5 weeks, had a break + then was supposed to have surgery. Unfortunately my CT scan + MRI showed legions in my liver, so I was deemed inoperable at that time. I have been on folfiri + avastin since Sept /09, + it seems to be be keeping the cancer under control so far. My onc has put me on a chemo break until Jan 13, which freaked me out a little at first but now I am trying to embrace it. You are not alone, there are many here who are dealing with this ongoing, some are NED + some are cured. There is a lot of help here.
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #8
    AnneCan said:

    Hello + welcome, actsassy!
    I too was diagnosed about a little more that a year + 1/2 ago; in March/09. I underwent radiation + chemo for 5 weeks, had a break + then was supposed to have surgery. Unfortunately my CT scan + MRI showed legions in my liver, so I was deemed inoperable at that time. I have been on folfiri + avastin since Sept /09, + it seems to be be keeping the cancer under control so far. My onc has put me on a chemo break until Jan 13, which freaked me out a little at first but now I am trying to embrace it. You are not alone, there are many here who are dealing with this ongoing, some are NED + some are cured. There is a lot of help here.

    Welome!
    Hope to chat with
    Welome!

    Hope to chat with you next coming years! Take Care and have questions, just ask away...Be happy about no Cancer, it's the best news, you can hear!

    Hugs!
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #9
    HI
    Welcome to the board. Dealing with this crap, well you just take it day by day. My hubby is also Stage IV, mets to liver and lungs. He was diagnosed 3/09. Since you are being treated out of Karmanos I'm assuming you are in the Detroit area. We are being treated out of Oakwood in Dearborn. Showing no growth is really excellent news. As Stage IV's, there is always the worry of mets "waking up", sometimes they do and sometimes they don't so try not to dwell on it and just keep youself as healthy as possible. Have your docs discussed liver resection as a possibility or perhaps RFA to the mets since they appear to be small? Just a thought.

    Take care and post any questions you may have -

    Tina

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