Again, So Now What

Yeah it is me again!Mom is still in the hospital six days I have watch my mom get stents changed this week watched her cry .She states she is not in pain because the Dr told her if she had no pain the stents worked.What she didn't realize is she also has pain from the tumors.They are talking about putting her in extended care to get stronger. The extended care she was in was great but only will except her for a hundred days because that is what her insurance will pay .Well she has been there about sixty before they released her which has been just a month ago.they do not except any goverment funding.Our family can not afford thirty thousand a month to keep her there.I visited other nursing homes and one has had the govners award twice I don't know what the hell she was awarding them for because I wouldn't send my worst enemy there.These places have forgotten compassion and diginty and that their patient who really need help need,need not to be put in a wheel chair left in the hall to see each other sitting there because they don't want to take the person a few steps more to an other room .I am not kidding there are three places I can take her to and they are horrible.So what do I do ?This weekend mom told me she is tired.Today she stated she can't take much more she has had five months of this.She slept all day today had me feed her couldn't hold her own water glass.In the mean time I went to stay at a hotel for one night since Sunday because sleeping in a chair in mom's room not to mention not really sleeping was taking a toll on me.My sister said she would stay with her not without asking when will I be back so on and so. When she got here to the hospital before I leave I find out her husband was driving my mom's car and totaled it.So I am so upset over this all night I kept waking up worried what is going to happen when mom finds out .So anyway I come back to hospital in the AM and my sister ask did you sleep good.Yeah right!I forgot to let you know when I got to hotel I laid on the bed and just cry so hard I was afraid people would hear me.Asked my sister how she like sleeping in the chair all night she states it was great very comfortable.I told her I thought she was full of it.Well she later said to me do you have a eye infection your eye looks puffy and goes down into your face.Of course all of this was said in front of mom.I just gave her dirty looks .I ask her how things went she said oh great mom and I had a slumber party.I thought ok.Well than when she leaves my mom said I can't handle this stress come to find out my sister and other sister had an agrument on the phone where mom could hear.I told mom the problem is she has always taken care of their problems and they still want her to.They don't realize how sick she really is.At the first of this journey I ask so now what and I am still asking so now what and praying God has some answers for me.My concern I told my sisters is mom and they better grow up and take care of themselves.I told them not so nicely. I can not take care of thier problems that my mom is enough and what is important.Do I sound like I am going crazy?