Do I give up my career to be with my mom?

Wrxdrew
Wrxdrew Member Posts: 5
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Hi everybody,

I'm dealing with a seriously difficult decision. I worked very hard to get where I am in life and I have a rewarding career. My mother helped pay for my college, and supported me the whole way. She expressed to me that she would never want me to give up my career for her. On the other hand, I have this deep passionate drive to be with her for her last days/months/years. After all, she's been there for me 30 years, I should be there for her for as long as I can.

Please help, any one decide one way or the other and have thoughts about it?

Comments

  • hope0310
    hope0310 Member Posts: 320
    #2
    FMLA...
    You do not have to give up your career. Sign up for FMLA and go be with your mom.

    My mother was put on hospice Aug 6th and passed away September 23rd. I immediately told work "see ya later!". Never regretted it for one minute!
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #3
    take your time
    Don't make an emotional decision too soon is my advice. I've been self-employed for 25 years, and I've been primary caregiver for my mother for the past two years. Cancer interventions can prolong life quite a bit these days, so you might be better off to wait and see.

    Many, many people out there have been in our shoes, and you may be amazed and how much support you get from peers and coworkers. My peeps have cut me all kinds of slack, which I've really needed at times.

    On the other hand, sometimes it's great to have work to do. By the time I get home for a caregiver break, I can't wait to get to work, but then I do love my job!
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #4
    Hello and Welcome
    I say...go
    Hello and Welcome
    I say...go with your gut feeling and go be with your mother. There are such things as family leave in most companies. There is also a leave of absence choice. You will not be totally giving up your career, just taking a long needed break. I am sure your company/job will understand. Cherish each of these moments with your mom. You will never have these moments again. Spend as much time as you can with her and let her know how much you love her. Best of luck. Keep us updated.
    Tina in Va
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #5
    FMLA = FAmily leave.
    Most
    FMLA = FAmily leave.

    Most places require your mmom's doctor to fill out some paper work and you will get up to 12 weeks of leave a yearf whether unpaid or paid. If it is unpaid it is a guarantee that your job will not be lost due to you dealing wigth your mom's illness.

    I will be spending 3 weeks at my mom's with her under FMLA.
    '
  • Pennymac02
    Pennymac02 Member Posts: 332 Member
    #6
    FMLA
    FMLA doesn't have to be taken all in one stretch. You can fill out the paper work and use it if you have to take days off due to hospital appointments or treatments. That way, you can't be fired for your absenteeism. 12 weeks per calendar year, too. That means since my company counts Jan to Jan, I can have this month off to be with my husband and then another 12 weeks in 2011. Its unpaid, though, so I plan on eating a lot of peanut butter and jelly!
  • missyoumom2010
    missyoumom2010 Member Posts: 5
    #7
    Do I give up my career to be with my mom.
    Hi,

    I took time off when we first found out about my mom having colon cancer & my stepdad had lung cancer Fall 2007 he was on hospice only for a month . Did FMLA my company gave me grief, I was laid off. It worked out for the best in the long run because I was able to give my mom the full support,time,care, and etc. With all the doc appt, sickness with chemo at times, hospital visits and etc I wouldn't have been able to have kept a job comfortable. We found out Fall 2007 went into remission, July 2009 It was none stop up until November 14,2010, I actually brought her to live me her past weeks she had her last breathe at home with me. Just pray about it and follow your heart. I have done right by my mother so after the first of the year around spring and my mental is together as far as work I will look for work again.

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