Little help please?....regarding the other post "when to go back to work"

plh4gail
plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I have the same question for myself. I did work as long as I could during the chemo/radiation treatment in July and August. That got the best of me though and I had to go on my medical leave after about 3 weeks. It took till the middle of Sept before I could walk right (radiation burned the heck out of my urethra!!!), and the constant diarrhea slowed down. Then,in October I had my resection with iliostomy. 5 weeks later in November, the iliostomy reversal when there were some complications with it. Now on Tuesday I start the 6 months of chemo.

I guess I am having a problem with myself still being off work. I have always worked and this doesn't feel right being home. But when I think about possibly going back and working through chemo, I just don't know if I can make it through while working. If it was any of my co-workers this was happening to, I would not hesitate to think they need to be home getting the cancer kicked, then worry about getting back to work.

Maybe I should share I am an RN in the Emergency Room. Work 12 hour shifts, and when it's busy....there's no slowing down and just do what you can do. It get's very physically and mentally exhausting. We have a very busy ER, especially this time of year.

I know there are other nurses on here...please share with me how you did, how you got through it, what I should do....I kind of feel some guilt about not working. I guess I miss it too, this is just not normal. But heck.....what is normal??? I forgot. lolololol

Gail

Comments

  • goodwitch
    goodwitch Member Posts: 12
    #2
    Gail, Time to take care of ..........
    YOU...fellow nurses chime in, why do we tell OTHER people how important it is to eat properly, rest adequately, take care of their mental and emotional health, heck , even not to hold off peeing for 6 hours past when you need to go ( ok, sing, gonna pee when i've passed these meds, changed this dressing etc ) but when it comes to us we seem to think (and our supervisors think) we can work with fevers ( as long as under 101, pneumonia and flue (with a mask) 3 weeks after major surgery.....I was back at work 3 weeks after my l.a.r, stage 1 , no chemo, no bag, 9 months later got laid off in favor of all l.p.n's, and decided to take time off for a while, whoa, wow @#@#@# I have actually cleaned my house and enjoyed it, I read in the afternoons, cook fancy diners....after 40 years of nursing I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK!!!unfortunately gonna have to financially, but I needed this break mentally even though not medically...Holly D worked as a nurse on chemo and I take my cap of to her but as nurses we need to learn how to be sick (in a good way) and allow others to care for us...and we both know the ER 12 shifts can be argh !!even night shift on a tuesday! Bottom line , pretend you are answering this question for a patient, then LISTEN to your answer and take the advice if the best nurse who knows YOU.
    Glenda
  • Lori-S
    Lori-S Member Posts: 1,277 Member
    #3
    Gail
    I know the feeling of not working. I am a workaholic by nature and work has always been my escape. Funny huh? I guess if you look for an addiction if possible look for a positive one. I used to be an RN ... last 5 years I spent doing home hospice. So, I also know the nurse's mentality about illness ... medical professionals have the hardest time being patients and doing what they teach and tell their patients to do.

    Don't push it. Consider this time as the time that your job is healing yourself instead of someone else. Treat yourself the way that you would want a patient to treat themself if they were in your position. I know easier said than done. But, you can practice it. Hugs

    PS: see aboe post. I hadn't read it before I posted. Also, I always get told this when I say I used to be an RN .... Once a RN always an RN!
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #4
    Not a nurse, but independent consultant....24 hour days!!!!
    And, I had no 'disability' other than the SSI kind...I HAD to work....sigh...

    What others have said is true, you ARE working right now....in recovering!!!! Your body has gone thru hell for you, and you need to feel proud, not guilty, of taking care of it!!! What you do now will set the stage for the rest of your life...abuse your body now, push it too hard, and you will have more lasting side effects, maybe even some that are permanent...

    Is that enough of a lecture? Sorry, I just feel VERY strongly about it...and even though I had to work, if I got tired, I would reschedule to another day...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    #5
    Denial, attitude, and change
    I do know what I would tell any of my patient's, family, and friends. And you are all right. I think I just question myself because it is me. I know deep inside what I need to do, sometimes I just think I am invincible and if I act like everything is one way, then it will be. But hey, that's exactly what I did the months/year before my official diagnosis when I told myself "my" rectal bleeding was due to colitis, ulcer's, or hemorrhoids when I knew in my heart I had cancer all along........Seems that denial is my best friend. Time for an attitude change.

    Thanks girls! Gail :)
  • ron50
    ron50 Member Posts: 1,723 Member
    #6
    plh4gail said:

    Denial, attitude, and change
    I do know what I would tell any of my patient's, family, and friends. And you are all right. I think I just question myself because it is me. I know deep inside what I need to do, sometimes I just think I am invincible and if I act like everything is one way, then it will be. But hey, that's exactly what I did the months/year before my official diagnosis when I told myself "my" rectal bleeding was due to colitis, ulcer's, or hemorrhoids when I knew in my heart I had cancer all along........Seems that denial is my best friend. Time for an attitude change.

    Thanks girls! Gail :)

    Hi Gail
    I worked right thru chemo. I fix sewing machines. At times I felt dreadful and the bucket beside my bench was not for show. If I was working on jet engines I would not have flown in anything I worked on. Fortunately I am very experienced at my job and even tho I was a lot slower than normal I was able to maintain my standards. One of my good friends,I do repairs for her sewing centre, is having problems with her son at school. One of his teachers has breast cancer and is in chemo tretment. She insists on working and taking her class except for chemo week. As much as I admire her for trying It is stuffing the kids around big time. She is not functioning well and because the class is always needing a relief teacher,the kids don't know whether they are coming or going. She gets very emotional at times when the pressure gets too much. These are 14 year olds and they do not understand cancer or how to react to people with cancer. The point I am making is that there are jobs and there are jobs, in her case and perhaps in yours there is too much responsibility not to be at your best. I am concerned about patients but more so about you I don't think you can heal properly under stress. Please take the time to heal ,do the right thing by yourself and get better ((((())))) Ron.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #7
    ron50 said:

    Hi Gail
    I worked right thru chemo. I fix sewing machines. At times I felt dreadful and the bucket beside my bench was not for show. If I was working on jet engines I would not have flown in anything I worked on. Fortunately I am very experienced at my job and even tho I was a lot slower than normal I was able to maintain my standards. One of my good friends,I do repairs for her sewing centre, is having problems with her son at school. One of his teachers has breast cancer and is in chemo tretment. She insists on working and taking her class except for chemo week. As much as I admire her for trying It is stuffing the kids around big time. She is not functioning well and because the class is always needing a relief teacher,the kids don't know whether they are coming or going. She gets very emotional at times when the pressure gets too much. These are 14 year olds and they do not understand cancer or how to react to people with cancer. The point I am making is that there are jobs and there are jobs, in her case and perhaps in yours there is too much responsibility not to be at your best. I am concerned about patients but more so about you I don't think you can heal properly under stress. Please take the time to heal ,do the right thing by yourself and get better ((((())))) Ron.

    Wise man!
    I remember that, 2 weeks before I started treatment, when my back pain was constant and I was taking Vicodin, that one of my large clients' offices was flooded. We were in the process of moving them, so many of the computers (and, yes, the server) were sitting on the floor...

    I remember for years after, being amazed that the server I configured actually WORKED!

    It DOES matter what kind of job when considering working during treatment...sigh...unless you don't have a choice...

    Hugs, my hero!

    Hugs, Kathi

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