Small Cell Stage 4 - my sweetheart never smoked

revkaruna
revkaruna Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Lung Cancer #1
He never smoked, and at 57 was diagnosed with small cell carcinoma mainly in the left lung, stage 4 - in the lymph nodes, adrenals and pancreas. I'm feeling a bit lost. We met 6 months ago, connected in an amazing way and were kinda planning a life together ........ now......we get to plan a year if we are lucky.

Anyone have any experience with small cell carcinoma? Is this what we really have 1-2 years max if he does chemo and it shrinks the tumors?

I am a realist for sure and want to live everyday we have, but I need a reality check from the "field." We like the oncologist and will be getting a 2nd opinion, but my gut is telling me that the time we have left is very, very short. I guess I'm still in shock trying to grasp this.

Any advice is most appreciated. I am blessed to have a large support network off-line and online, but none that have experience with this.

Thank you,
Shalom, Salaam, Shanti, Peace,
Karuna

Comments

  • hope0310
    hope0310 Member Posts: 320
    #2
    I'm sorry that you have had
    I'm sorry that you have had to join us here, although it is a wonderful place if you are going though this journey either as a caregiver or the one with cancer.

    No one can tell you how much time he has, not us, not a doctor. There are many statistics, but your sweetie is a "statistic of ONE!!!"

    Read this board, educate yourself, ask questions, get second opinions, live everyday to the fullest!

    My best to you
    Elysia
  • cabbott
    cabbott Member Posts: 1,039 Member
    #3
    Welcome
    Welcome to the board no one wants to have to join. The folks here are great even if cancer stinks. There are many causes of cancer and not all of them are known. Only about 8 out of ten or 9 out of 10 lung cancers are caused by tobacco products. There's a lot of folks with lung cancer around and 10 to 20 percent of them never smoked. I never smoked. My folks never smoked. I didn't date a guy that smoked. I hung out with non-smokers in high school and college. My dad was careful not to ever let me get near yard chemicals. My mom was a nurse who did everything she could to feed us nutritious food and keep us well. Our meals looked like the pictures in the health textbook (though her desserts looked a lot better than the family magazines!) No one in my family ever had lung cancer. Or any other kind of cancer except one older relative that got prostrate cancer in his 70's (which is practically the norm and not the sort I'll ever get since I don't have a prostrate). I still got cancer. Twice. Two kinds. So go figure. At the cellular level my body messed up. And no one will ever know why. But at the point of diagnosis, I guess it matters a whole lot more what I do with the problem than what caused the problem.

    I like the answer about life expectancy that I read once on the breast cancer board: there is no expiration date stamped on the bottoms of your feet. Most doctors can give you an educated guess, but they don't know. Statistics are based on yesterday's news. The latest medical advancements make a world of difference. Your body is unique and no one knows just how it will respond to treatment. So plan out your days like you have no tommorrow: write the wills, take the vacations, and all that. But don't give in to doomsday predictions. Even the experts don't know.
  • NayPaul
    NayPaul Member Posts: 230 Member
    #4
    Sorry...
    Sorry to hear you get to "join the club." My 40 year old wife is in the same boat... granted hers is nonsmall cell. Please remember, statistics are just that. I am a bonafide mathematician... and still cannot tell you how long you have with your guy. But there are many on this board that showed up their docs... I dont think a lot of docs actually understand stats.

    Get the second opinion.. no matter what.. and enjoy the time together.

    Cancer has such a fair, unfair quality. It is the equal opportunity hater! As unfair as it is, it is treatable, and time together now will be precious. Stay calm... rational... and enjoy eachother. I know its easier said than done, but it can be done.
  • JohnBinDC
    JohnBinDC Member Posts: 91 Member
    #5
    Welcome to the network
    Sorry that you or anyone has to join us, but as others have stated, statistics do not tell the whole story. I stopped checking statiscics because they get in the way of my recovery. If I focus on the statics, there is a chance I will give up, and I have decided not to give up. While I don't believe one can be "cured" simply by miund over matter, I do believe that a positive outlook combined with treatment will help to get my cancer in remission. One book I have found to be beneficial is entitled "Love, Medicine and Miracles" by Dr.Bernie Siegel. Best wishes to you and your sweetheart! You will find support on this board.

    John

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