It has started to grow & spread again

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nyogus1
nyogus1 Member Posts: 30
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Last Monday we received the news that my husbands Lung cancer has started to grow again. (nsclc with metz to bone & lympth, dx in 4/2010.) We were only told 12 weeks ago he was in partial remission and doing so well. But pain was getting worse, and really started to bother his neck. We find the cancer has popped up in vertebrea of the neck & upper back. The lung tumors are just starting to grow again.

I hate this. All we got was 3 months of (partial) remission. Just 3 months. I'm very angry about it.

I hate the pain he is in. He doesn't want to go to stronger drugs, as he is very nervous about them. But last night he was in so much pain at 2 a.m., that he just cried out. I said you have to take another pill. You just have to. So he finally accepted one. It had been almost exactly 4 hours since the last one. No skating for an hour or so....times up on pain relief when the drug wears off! Just a couple of weeks ago he was fine with one at bedtime & one 8 - 9 hours later at 7 a.m.

So now he has 10 Radiation treatments started for the pain, then will get a new chemo drug (Altima). Zip, zip, zip. Things moving so fast! I also asked whether he should have a brain scan. I have read about so many on this site with lung cancer who have the brain involved too. So brain scan is scheduled too.

We had scheduled a trip to Europe to see his family, leaving 12/11/10. We are still going. The Dr. has squeezed the radiation in before the trip & giving 1 round of chemo on 12/10. How will he be on the 9 hour flight the day after chemo? I'm worried, but even his Dr. thinks he should go. I want to think it's compassion, but does he think he'd better go now, as there may not be a next time??

You know, I'm still in denial. I want him to be one of the ones who survives 7 - 10 years at Stage 4. But we only got a stinking 3 months of remission after the first line chemo. Why? Why? Why? I don't want to be writing some of the posts I see here with people failing fast, and dying! Where is the hope? I still want to have hope! I do not want to lose my best friend.

Nancy

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  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #2
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    hope
    Dear Nancy,

    This is a very difficult place for you to be. There are no easy answers. You are still in the middle of testing, starting treatments, dealing with new levels of pain.

    First, I hope you can get your husband to understand that there is nothing to fear from the stronger pain medications. I am not sure what his fear is but a common one is addiction. If you are in pain, you will not become addicted to the pain medication. It just doesn't work that way. Tell him he needs to ask the doctor or nurse or pharmacist directly about this.

    The trip - yes, your doctor may think your husband needs to go because it may be the last chance his family has to see him - but that is true for all of us, not just someone with cancer. None of us knows how many days we have left. How will he do on the trip? You will have a lot of medication for him, both for pain, nausea and other things. Be prepared to deal with this. Find out what TSA says about boarding airplanes. Ask for an extra written prescription in case of problems. Locate the nearest, best medical facility wherever you are going.

    You both still have a life to live, however long or short that may be.

    You just need a chance to get your feet under you.

    And I understand your anger about the brevity of his reprieve but beg you to not spend time on being angry. Breathe, and remember why you are on this journey with him. Love endures, Nancy.

    Hugs.
  • cher8871
    cher8871 Member Posts: 64
    #3
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    alimta
    my dad takes alimta and avastin as maintenance drugs and he tolerates it very well. i pray your husband does too! go on your trip and have a blast!!!

    you both will be in my prayers!

    cheri
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #4
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    pain drugs are not scary
    I'm so sorry to hear of this turn of events. It's so discouraging, but life is going on. I would suggest getting some pain management help before you go. The radiation may not be fully effective in only 10 days.

    My mother has done much, much better since changing from various other pain meds to plain old morphine. It really does control the pain and has made a huge difference in her quality of life. Also, to get her pain under control initially, her palliative care doc gave her a short course of steroids along with the low dose morphine. Another option worth looking into before the trip. Good luck!

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