Lets pretend

forme
forme Member Posts: 1,161 Member
edited March 2014 in Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin) #1
Hi All,
Lets pretend that there is no cancer and all that goes with it. I'm really needing to be in that place.
The onc visit went as I expected it would. No where good. I now need another ultrasound and a brain mri. She told me that I could still do the rads, but the chance of it working was less that 30%. Those aren't very good odds, in my opinion. I asked what would be next, she said chemo and or trial, but wouldn't reccomend that either. So, I asked what should I do, She said "I don't have anything to offer you". I guess it's time to find another Dr and place of treatment. My pcp was thinking of Mayo or MD Anderson. Both have really good outcomes with advanced ca. This just sucks. All I want to do is forget about ca and tx and all of it. I want to cry, mostly because I am scared. And I don't like being scared. I'm not even sure what I am scared of. I just want to be a regular person. Grow old with my husband, be a Nana to my grandkids and just live my life. I know that I am rambling on, but I need to get it out before I go to my grandsons 14th bday party in 1 hour. Thanks for reading. I have to put on my happy face and get ready to go.
peaceful healing
Lisha

Comments

  • allmost60
    allmost60 Member Posts: 3,178 Member
    #2
    So sorry!
    Hi Lisha,
    I'm so sorry to read this, as I had hoped todays onc appointment would be more productive for you. Is there another cancer center in your area, or will you have to go out of State? I know you are scared..who wouldn't be if put in your situation? It just doesn't sound right to hear a doctor say they have nothing to offer you...that just sounds insane to me. There has got to be another way to tackle your cancer. Will your PCP move quickly to get you to another onc or clinic? My heart hurts for you Lisha and I can't imagine going through something like this. Just dealing with treatment is hard enough on someone, but to not find a workable treatment would be next to impossible to handle. I hope you were able to enjoy your grandsons birthday party. This is a hard time of year to have to put on a happy face and not feel the happiness from the heart.We are here for you and anytime you need to vent or talk, just do it. I'll keep good thoughts and prayers coming your way.
    Love...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)
  • vinny59
    vinny59 Member Posts: 1,036 Member
    #3
    sorry
    That sucks! no other way to put it, my heart goes out to you. I would really try to find somewhere else to go. Never give up the fight, try everything that is out there..... praying for you always Vinny
  • merrywinner
    merrywinner Member Posts: 626 Member
    #4
    Hello Lisha
    It broke my heart to read your post. What a scary disappointment for you. Try to remember that that was one opinion from someone who has reached the bottom of their bag of tricks. I too wish you,me or anyone didn't have to deal with any of this. Since we never got a choice we have to move ahead with as much hope and faith as we can muster up. Not easy I know. Get yourself scheduled at one of the other places and let them take over with a fresh start for you. I trust Mayo with my life,literally. In addition to top of the line cancer treatment they are also leaders in the thyroid field. My experience is there of course and I have heard great things regarding MD Anderson also. Just get yourself scheduled honey and play the game some more. You are smart,tough and strong. Remember a different answer and course of treatment is very likely. The bag of tricks runs much deeper at either place. Many prayers coming your way. Mary
  • onlytoday
    onlytoday Member Posts: 609 Member
    #5
    merrywinner said:

    Hello Lisha
    It broke my heart to read your post. What a scary disappointment for you. Try to remember that that was one opinion from someone who has reached the bottom of their bag of tricks. I too wish you,me or anyone didn't have to deal with any of this. Since we never got a choice we have to move ahead with as much hope and faith as we can muster up. Not easy I know. Get yourself scheduled at one of the other places and let them take over with a fresh start for you. I trust Mayo with my life,literally. In addition to top of the line cancer treatment they are also leaders in the thyroid field. My experience is there of course and I have heard great things regarding MD Anderson also. Just get yourself scheduled honey and play the game some more. You are smart,tough and strong. Remember a different answer and course of treatment is very likely. The bag of tricks runs much deeper at either place. Many prayers coming your way. Mary

    Lisha
    I am so sorry to hear of your news. You can write to us anytime,night or day. We are here for you and will be here anytime you need us!

    I would say get that other appointment asap. Not all docs or medical centers think alike. I had three opinions orginally and they were all different!! Two were aligned enough to allow me to decide who to go with but honestly their views were so different! At one point I wondered if they had the same test results they had such a different view on what treatment plan could get me out of trouble. I tell you this because some docs don't have their pulse on the latest info and trials where others do. So- Mayo or whoever - go for it!! I can imagine that your energy level is pretty drained with this blow but just try to muster up your wonderful "Lisha-ness"and fight like hell!!!


    You are in my thoughts and prayers every day.

    Love,
    Donna
  • miss maggie
    miss maggie Member Posts: 929
    #6
    Oh boy
    Lisha,

    I am so very sorry at this latest developement. Now that a day has passed, hopefully you have had time to pull yourself together. We can pretend things are alright, when they are not. You can put your head in the sand for awhile, please don't give up now. You have been such a fighter for so long, why would you give up now? Gather all your papers, tests, and xrays and get another opinion. It is so easy for me to say. I can't imagine how you must feel. To tell the truth, I was both scared and extremely sad just reading your post.

    Your PCP is right. MD Anderson, Mayo Clinic, or perhaps Sloan Kettering.

    Bless you, and yes peaceful healing. maggie
  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401 Member
    #7
    Lets pretend
    Lisha,
    I can't add anymore than all the others have said and I agree with them.I will thinking of you. John(FNHL-1-4A-5/10)
  • Chris17
    Chris17 Member Posts: 175
    #8
    COBRA666 said:

    Lets pretend
    Lisha,
    I can't add anymore than all the others have said and I agree with them.I will thinking of you. John(FNHL-1-4A-5/10)

    Will pray
    Lisha i am truly sorry as John said there are no words to say at this time, dont give up yet, i know its easier said than done, you are a fighter and you have come a long way, i hear so much about cancer centers of america, i dont know where you live but i know they have hospitals across the US, give them a call and see what they have to say, it wouldnt hurt,i know you are scared as i would be also, will be praying for you and will add you to my prayer circle i have with some friends, keep up the fight.
  • miss maggie
    miss maggie Member Posts: 929
    #9
    Chris17 said:

    Will pray
    Lisha i am truly sorry as John said there are no words to say at this time, dont give up yet, i know its easier said than done, you are a fighter and you have come a long way, i hear so much about cancer centers of america, i dont know where you live but i know they have hospitals across the US, give them a call and see what they have to say, it wouldnt hurt,i know you are scared as i would be also, will be praying for you and will add you to my prayer circle i have with some friends, keep up the fight.

    question
    I really don't have much info on cancer centers of america. Were they certified by the NCI (National Cancer Institute). I really can't judge them. But, listening to their commercials leaves me a bit cold. Especially the commerical where the man has pancreatic cancer. This man claims his regular doctor told him "why are you smiling", you have pancreatic cancer. If anyone out there has anything positive to say about this cancer center, please let me and others know.

    A bit leary. maggie
  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401 Member
    #10
    miss maggie said:

    question
    I really don't have much info on cancer centers of america. Were they certified by the NCI (National Cancer Institute). I really can't judge them. But, listening to their commercials leaves me a bit cold. Especially the commerical where the man has pancreatic cancer. This man claims his regular doctor told him "why are you smiling", you have pancreatic cancer. If anyone out there has anything positive to say about this cancer center, please let me and others know.

    A bit leary. maggie

    Commercials
    Maggie,
    I have never seen that commercial in my area. I do agree with you about commercials though. I mean all commercials.I am seeing a lot of commercials lately about all types of cancer clinics and hospitals. I know they are making great strides with cancer as we speak,but now all the money grabbers are getting on the bandwagon. They all say they are the best. You know what the bottom line is I am sure of what they are about. Your $$$$$$$$$$$$. It is a shame. If one every plays that is ligit it makes you wonder. John(FNHL-1-4A-5/10)
  • JoanieP
    JoanieP Member Posts: 573
    #11
    Lisha
    I don't know you but my heart is hurting for the way you feel right now. I live near Tampa, Florida and I know we have someone in our cancer support group and his Dr said he didn't have any more treatments and then he went to my Dr. My doctor did research and found places that would treat him. That was four years ago. Moffitt in Tampa is wonderful. Don't give up. God's strength will get you through. I will pray for you and pray for a Dr. that will take a personal interest in making your recovery his mission. God Bless you Joanie
  • truckingalong
    truckingalong Member Posts: 445 Member
    #12
    JoanieP said:

    Lisha
    I don't know you but my heart is hurting for the way you feel right now. I live near Tampa, Florida and I know we have someone in our cancer support group and his Dr said he didn't have any more treatments and then he went to my Dr. My doctor did research and found places that would treat him. That was four years ago. Moffitt in Tampa is wonderful. Don't give up. God's strength will get you through. I will pray for you and pray for a Dr. that will take a personal interest in making your recovery his mission. God Bless you Joanie

    Dr.'s lack of empathy is a big issue!
    Lisha,

    I really feel the drs should do this tactfully no matter what the outcomes of whatever there is as long as they are presented with EMPATHY and guidance. I hate it when drs. say "sorry we have nothing". There is no such nothing!! I believe there are others who really would reach out for you.

    With hope and prayers,
    Liz
  • miss maggie
    miss maggie Member Posts: 929
    #13
    truckingalong said:

    Dr.'s lack of empathy is a big issue!
    Lisha,

    I really feel the drs should do this tactfully no matter what the outcomes of whatever there is as long as they are presented with EMPATHY and guidance. I hate it when drs. say "sorry we have nothing". There is no such nothing!! I believe there are others who really would reach out for you.

    With hope and prayers,
    Liz

    Liz is right
    Liz, I couldn't of said it any better. "I hate it when drs. say "sorry we have nothing". There is no such nothing!!"

    I will remember what you wrote, thanks Liz maggie
  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401 Member
    #14
    ANY LEADS???
    Lisha,
    Do you have any leads yet as to where you will go next for treatment? There are places out there.Keep us up to date. John(FNHL-1-4A-5/10)
  • truckingalong
    truckingalong Member Posts: 445 Member
    #15
    miss maggie said:

    Liz is right
    Liz, I couldn't of said it any better. "I hate it when drs. say "sorry we have nothing". There is no such nothing!!"

    I will remember what you wrote, thanks Liz maggie

    Thanks
    Maggie,

    Thanks! I learn that issue from my experience as a social worker working with many doctors, smile.

    With positive thoughts,
    Liz

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