Sad and Scared Over Changes in Dad

Swissgirl
Swissgirl Member Posts: 8
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Hi everyone,
Well my dad's home from a 7 day stay in the hospital with sepsis. He seems to me that he no longer is the person I knew. Understandably, he sleep or dozes, eats little and seems to have little interest in talking or acknowledging most things around him. It takes so much effort for him to concentrate on a task, but at least he is still up and around. We meet with his oncologist on Tuesday to see how much damage has been done my the cancer and the sepsis.

I am not sure just how much he understands what has happened to him. He says he does but does so in a way that leaves you with doubt. I am not sure he can even decide to try new treatment or just have hospice come in.

I try not to worry about the decisions that need to be made too much cause I have a feeling they will fall into place. I appreciate the community here and thank you for listening.

Swissgirl

Comments

  • hope0310
    hope0310 Member Posts: 320
    #2
    I'm so sorry, it is so hard
    I'm so sorry, it is so hard to see the ones we love not be theirselves.

    Please fill us in on your dads cancer etc....I'm sorry if you have posted this before, but I am unfamiliar.

    Elysia
  • Couchie
    Couchie Member Posts: 24
    #3
    It's Probably Temporary
    My wife had 10+ day stay in the hospital with sepsis. Many of her organs shut down, she required emergency surgery, the whole nine yards. The drugs they used to sedate her were serious stuff and the doctors told us that one of the side affects of them was temporary amnesia. When she first came to, she certainly was not herself. She would stare at the clock, unable to make out the time. She seemed very distant and would forget things that happened just moments prior. But there was noticeable improvement after a couple days and within a week she was herself again mentally.

    I know it's really disconcerning to see someone you love in such a mental state. But 9 times out of 10 it's temporary.

    Just to warn you though - the physical recovery from that kind of body trauma is much more long term. His body will have to "relearn" many of it's basic functions such as bowel control and it may take a month or so until he regains his muscle and coordination.
  • Swissgirl
    Swissgirl Member Posts: 8
    #4
    hope0310 said:

    I'm so sorry, it is so hard
    I'm so sorry, it is so hard to see the ones we love not be theirselves.

    Please fill us in on your dads cancer etc....I'm sorry if you have posted this before, but I am unfamiliar.

    Elysia

    Update on Dad
    Good morning Hope0310,

    My pops has neuroendocrine carcinoma of the pancreas (poorly differentiated). Basically, Steve Jobs has this type of pancreatic cancer in contrast to what Patrick Swayze had. Unfortunately, pops is much older. He had a Whipple in Feb 2010 and survived that. Then followup with chemo (cistplatin/etoposide). The cancer basically laughed at that. So now we have gone from stage II to IV in a matter of months.

    He seems to be recovering mentally from the sepsis bout but he just doesn't want to eat. I can understand that but it breaks my heart. I am a cancer survivor myself, stage I for ovarian and kidney, but this is so foreign to me.

    Thank you for your message.

    Swissgirl
  • Swissgirl
    Swissgirl Member Posts: 8
    #5
    Couchie said:

    It's Probably Temporary
    My wife had 10+ day stay in the hospital with sepsis. Many of her organs shut down, she required emergency surgery, the whole nine yards. The drugs they used to sedate her were serious stuff and the doctors told us that one of the side affects of them was temporary amnesia. When she first came to, she certainly was not herself. She would stare at the clock, unable to make out the time. She seemed very distant and would forget things that happened just moments prior. But there was noticeable improvement after a couple days and within a week she was herself again mentally.

    I know it's really disconcerning to see someone you love in such a mental state. But 9 times out of 10 it's temporary.

    Just to warn you though - the physical recovery from that kind of body trauma is much more long term. His body will have to "relearn" many of it's basic functions such as bowel control and it may take a month or so until he regains his muscle and coordination.

    Update and Thanks
    Good morning Couchie,

    Here's a little update on pops. He is getting better mentally, but as you warned the physical part is difficult. He is 72 and after recovering from the Whipple and chemo he has little desire to eat. He was always just a lover of food that it is heart wrenching to see him struggle to eat. He looks like a little kid with a plate of spinach before him.

    I am thankful that he can use the bathroom by himself and walk with only the aid of a cane.

    I wanted to thank you for sharing your wife's experience with me. It gives me hope.

    Thank you,

    Swissgirl
  • Couchie
    Couchie Member Posts: 24
    #6
    Swissgirl said:

    Update and Thanks
    Good morning Couchie,

    Here's a little update on pops. He is getting better mentally, but as you warned the physical part is difficult. He is 72 and after recovering from the Whipple and chemo he has little desire to eat. He was always just a lover of food that it is heart wrenching to see him struggle to eat. He looks like a little kid with a plate of spinach before him.

    I am thankful that he can use the bathroom by himself and walk with only the aid of a cane.

    I wanted to thank you for sharing your wife's experience with me. It gives me hope.

    Thank you,

    Swissgirl

    I'm so glad to hear that
    I'm so glad to hear that your dad's doing better mentally. I remember how disconcerning that was. I want to say that it took my wife about a month to get back close to normal physically. But now she's back to normal. She had a week off from treatment for the first time in months and she started to feel so good that she'd take me on mile long walks.

    I hope you see similar improvement in your father.

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