Off the Sauce

food and wine
I've gained 18 pounds in the two years I've been caring for my mother, and it's not a coincidence. I actually think it's metabolism changes due to stress and drinking too much wine because, well, because. I've cut way back and stopped gaining weight, but on caregiver duty I gotta have one glass at the end of the day.

Mom's appetite is waning, but for the past several months I've been amazed at the amount of sugar she puts down, like almost everything she wants to eat is sweet. Is this a common craving among advanced cancer patients?

Don't feel ashamed that you're not really a rock after all. Most of us here figure that one out eventually. More like squishy mounds of moss than rocks, most days.

Hope your day is a good one.

I applaud you

I am so impressed that you have decided to deal with your alcohol "solution." Most people who start drinking like that wouldn't see things the way you do. Bravo girl!

My husband went through the head & neck treatment too but didn't have any real problems until the last few treatments and then for a few weeks afterwards. It's been about 5 months and he is finally getting his taste buds back. Unfortunately he has lung cancer or mets from the throat cancer - we'll find out today for sure. Both would be stage IV and he is no longer a candidate for lung surgery. We knew about the tumor in his right lung all along but they thought it was another primary cancer that they could treat with surgery when he was done with the throat cancer treatment. He has the cancer in his other lung now so surgery is no longer an option.

I am an eater. Since my husband was diagnosed in April 2010 I have gained about 6 lbs. Now he has metastases and I'm eating more than ever. I just threw out leftover pumpkin pie and brownies. Can't have them in the house. I did eat the two slices of apple pie - they were just too good to pass up. My husband is on a candy binge - so you guessed it - me too.

Yesterday I decided I need to start getting it together but it's tough. Today is our follow-up visit with the surgeon after my husband's last biopsy for his other lung. Next week is his follow-up with onc doc to decide about treatment or quality of life. I also have a sister in hospice care for breast cancer. I've pretty much accepted her fate although it makes me very sad.

So today is another day and I'm going to try and cut down on the food and do some kind of exercise. I am prepared for what the doctor will tell my husband this morning (I have already spoken with him). My husband is not medically savvy at all and I don't think he understands that he is terminally ill - even though he came home with oxygen (that he is refusing to use). Not only is he not understanding his medical issues but he is a VERY tough patient and absolutely hates doctors or having any limitations or taking meds other than pain pills.

Hang in there DrMary. You may not think you are "the rock" but to your husband you are. Don't be afraid to get support from a local caregivers support group. You are going through a lot and you need to take care of yourself so you can be there for your husband. Try and get some exercise. I used to belong to Curves and I wish I could go back but it's just not in my budget right now.

Good luck and stay strong.

(((HUGS)))

Skipper

hope0310 said:

I hear ya!!
My mom was dx March 1st of this year w/SCLC w/mets to brain and spine, she fought hard, even went into remission for a fleeting moment....but sadly, she lost her battle on Spet 23rd.

During this time of fast food, junk food, late night eating and all the Bud Light I could find.......I have gained nearly 20 pounds!!!! I'm disgusted!!!!

Just yesterday I began to "take back my life".......

We all cope differently, there is not a right or wrong way. I do not have a drinking problem or solution, and I do not feel that you do either.....we choose our coping mechanisms. Then we brush ourselves off and move forward!!!

My best to you!

Up 10 lbs too
I've gained 10 lbs since April, 2010. I think it is related to the (new) daily glass of wine, and the fact that I've tried to feed my husband more to keep weight on. Then I'm eating with him.

I've kept up the exercise every day EXCEPT when particularly down. I have exercised the last two mornings, as I know it makes me feel better.

Yoga is a big stress reliever. Quiet, stretching Yoga. Breathe!
Nancy

DrMary said:

Food and Other Drugs
Well, now every time I wish I could open a beer or pour a glass of wine, I eat - this is not a solution either. The gym does help and I'm finding more time, so I will try to do more exercise - you have my admiration, Nancy, for keeping it up.

Two things are keeping me on the wagon for now. First, he turned the corner and started to get better (from throwing up all the time to being able to keep liquids down) very soon after I decided I better refrain from drinking for the duration; yes, it could be a coincidence, as I also started him back on dexamethasone at the same time - but to be safe, I'm not making changes to either routine. Secondly, I realized that - since he had to stop taking all his pain meds and all of the anti-anxiety type anti-nausea drugs - he really had no relief from the discomfort and fear. Not really fair for me to have that relief when he didn't (and couldn't).

I'm hoping that I can keep this up until he's able to have his first pain-free glass of wine, so we can both enjoy it. It would be nice if I also manage to lose weight while he continues to gain. While I'm at it, I'd also like a pony. . .

I started
to drink more when my wife was Dx'ed with IDC. My mom had breast cancer most of my life and passed when I was 14, so I reflected back to that period and hit the beer as a way to escape the images of a 12 yr old doing things for his mom that no child should have to do.
Was to hard to see my wife asleep in a chair (because she couldnt lay flat) and thinking that was going to be my last image of her....so I hit the beer. Its hard, been hard.....