where did everyone go?

bk1950
bk1950 Member Posts: 43
edited March 2014 in Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin) #1
seems as though friends and family are slowly over time drifting away since finding out about my cancer. i think people seem to think, "oh how terrible to have cancer" and they are now waiting for the worst to happen or maybe, "oh well she has had it this long,{19 mos.} it is old news". i don't get it, has anyone else gone through this? these are people i really thought would have kept in touch and i'm very surprised. i heard from them more before i got cancer.

Comments

  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401 Member
    #2
    Where did they all go?
    BK,
    You know you have asked a question that may be difficult to answer. You get right down to it and you find some people are weird. You mention the word cancer and some fly away as if you got a catching disease. Others put on the "I'm so sorry" scene. That word is used all the time when people talk about the destruction of something. Some cancers are real killers and do not have a lot of hope I agree. Others are treatable and can be kept under control like other chronic diseases. I must admit I was at one time the kind of person that thought once a person has cancer then thats the ballgame. I found out later that is not the case anymore. I am assuming those people are thinking the same way. It is all a lack of education with these people with the modern treatments that are available. Years ago when there was no treatment then it was a death sentence. Those people are still living in that era. They probably never had any reason to research it. None of us know what is in store for our future health. We know what we have thru diagnosis,but those same people that turn and run don't have any idea what may be in store for them in the future. We did not ask for this and I am sure they won't either. Just hope they never have to experience it. Maybe it is you that should be feeling sorry for them. John (FNHL-1-4A-5/10)
  • tcvine
    tcvine Member Posts: 174
    #3
    COBRA666 said:

    Where did they all go?
    BK,
    You know you have asked a question that may be difficult to answer. You get right down to it and you find some people are weird. You mention the word cancer and some fly away as if you got a catching disease. Others put on the "I'm so sorry" scene. That word is used all the time when people talk about the destruction of something. Some cancers are real killers and do not have a lot of hope I agree. Others are treatable and can be kept under control like other chronic diseases. I must admit I was at one time the kind of person that thought once a person has cancer then thats the ballgame. I found out later that is not the case anymore. I am assuming those people are thinking the same way. It is all a lack of education with these people with the modern treatments that are available. Years ago when there was no treatment then it was a death sentence. Those people are still living in that era. They probably never had any reason to research it. None of us know what is in store for our future health. We know what we have thru diagnosis,but those same people that turn and run don't have any idea what may be in store for them in the future. We did not ask for this and I am sure they won't either. Just hope they never have to experience it. Maybe it is you that should be feeling sorry for them. John (FNHL-1-4A-5/10)

    Right On
    Hey John,

    Right on with your comments! Nobody's fault, really, just the way life happens.

    Thanks for all your posts.

    Tom (DLBCL-4-710)
  • Chris17
    Chris17 Member Posts: 175
    #4
    tcvine said:

    Right On
    Hey John,

    Right on with your comments! Nobody's fault, really, just the way life happens.

    Thanks for all your posts.

    Tom (DLBCL-4-710)

    John
    You said it very well indeed!
  • vinny59
    vinny59 Member Posts: 1,036 Member
    #5
    gone
    Hey BK, it's really hard for some people, I had the same thing happen with me.... some people really don't know what to say, or how to act. Vinny
  • allmost60
    allmost60 Member Posts: 3,178 Member
    #6
    Hang in there...
    Hi BK,
    Try not to worry about this kind of stuff. We have no control over how others think or why they act the way they do. Put all of your energy into the people that "DO" show up and care, and let the others go. You can usually count on one hand the friends you "KNOW" will be there for you when the chips are down. We always have each other here don't forget...and that, you "CAN" count on.
    Take care...Love...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)
  • bk1950
    bk1950 Member Posts: 43
    #7
    COBRA666 said:

    Where did they all go?
    BK,
    You know you have asked a question that may be difficult to answer. You get right down to it and you find some people are weird. You mention the word cancer and some fly away as if you got a catching disease. Others put on the "I'm so sorry" scene. That word is used all the time when people talk about the destruction of something. Some cancers are real killers and do not have a lot of hope I agree. Others are treatable and can be kept under control like other chronic diseases. I must admit I was at one time the kind of person that thought once a person has cancer then thats the ballgame. I found out later that is not the case anymore. I am assuming those people are thinking the same way. It is all a lack of education with these people with the modern treatments that are available. Years ago when there was no treatment then it was a death sentence. Those people are still living in that era. They probably never had any reason to research it. None of us know what is in store for our future health. We know what we have thru diagnosis,but those same people that turn and run don't have any idea what may be in store for them in the future. We did not ask for this and I am sure they won't either. Just hope they never have to experience it. Maybe it is you that should be feeling sorry for them. John (FNHL-1-4A-5/10)

    where did everyone go?
    thank you to all who responded. god bless

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