I am so afraid I'm going to lose

confuzzled
confuzzled Member Posts: 21
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
My battle. I was told today by my oncologist that after 2 rounds of Doxil, the PPC is spreading in the peritoneal lining. I was diagnosed the end of March of this year with PPC, with the cancer spreading to my lung. At the time of diagnosis I was given a 70 to 80% chance of survival. I went through the 6 rounds of carbo/toxil only to find out that I am plantin resistant. So they put me on Doxil for 2 rounds then did a PET scan last week. I was so hopeful that this was going to work. The only good news I did get today was the cancer was no longer spreading in my lung (yea me). At the end of my visit with the onc he very gently tells me that there is only one drug left to try if this does not work. I think he is trying to tell me something here and I don't want to hear it. I just turned 50 last week I'm not ready to go yet! I'm engaged to be married to the most wonderful man you could ever wish for and I don't want to leave him.

God I am so scared!!!

Thanks for letting me talk this out.

Jane

Comments

  • zinaida
    zinaida Member Posts: 221
    #2
    Oh, Jane! Do not give up
    Oh, Jane! Do not give up with your battle! Maybe it is time for second opinion? (((HUGS))),Zina. Fred: don't forget to talk to doctor about trials.
  • Sandy10
    Sandy10 Member Posts: 80
    #3
    Jane,
    I have to agree,
    Jane,

    I have to agree, PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!! A second opinion would be good. Positive thoughts are what keeps us all going!! please, don't stop your positive thoughts!!!! And keep all your plans with that special man!! We are all scared. It's normal to be scared. Please know that we are all behind you. You are not in the ring alone with this. We are always here!! :) I pray for everyone on this board everyday!! keep those fists up!!!

    Sandy :)
  • nancy591
    nancy591 Member Posts: 1,027 Member
    #4
    Jane
    Doxil takes longer to work! Certainly I am NOT an oncologist but I wonder why they scanned after 2 infusions???? I think 3 is the minimal standard. I had 5 rounds before moving on. There is also clinical trials for platinum resistant ovca. Do your own research. Most advanced ovca has an 20-30% survival, not just you. I've been on chemo for 11 months straight now with LITTLE success. I'm active and have virtually no symptoms. I have twoyoung boys at home ages 7 and 5. I'm doing everything in my power to fight as long and as hard as I can. I know I am not curable. I know I will probably not have a 2nd remission but I'm still hoping. Are you at a major cancer? Please, visit ovariancancer.org. They have a clinical trial finder. Lots of women here are platinum resistant, including myself!
  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #5
    Hang in there. I am just
    Hang in there. I am just starting this journey...the connections I have made are both heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. It is a very scary time. May you embrace some peace and serenity during your struggles to keep you as strong and fighting as possible. Susan
  • azgrandma
    azgrandma Member Posts: 609 Member
    #6
    srwruns said:

    Hang in there. I am just
    Hang in there. I am just starting this journey...the connections I have made are both heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. It is a very scary time. May you embrace some peace and serenity during your struggles to keep you as strong and fighting as possible. Susan

    I am praying
    Honey just trust God, he will not let go of yoru hand
  • Cafewoman53
    Cafewoman53 Member Posts: 735 Member
    #7
    You are young
    I would get a second opinion just to see what another dr says . Ask your dr how many ovarian cancer patients he has treated ? At your young age you can tolerate harsher treatments than say a 70 year old . Let your dr know you are willing to fight and expect him to do the same. Good Luck.

    Colleen
  • beth1465
    beth1465 Member Posts: 63 Member
    #8
    Never, never give up!!
    No one knows the future. Anything can happen. God is the ultimate healer and he will take care of you!! Definitely get a second opinion, and let God lead the way. I also pray for all the ladies on this board daily!

    Beth
  • confuzzled
    confuzzled Member Posts: 21
    #9
    Cafewoman53 said:

    You are young
    I would get a second opinion just to see what another dr says . Ask your dr how many ovarian cancer patients he has treated ? At your young age you can tolerate harsher treatments than say a 70 year old . Let your dr know you are willing to fight and expect him to do the same. Good Luck.

    Colleen

    My onc has been practicing
    My onc has been practicing for years, as a matter of fact he is not only an onc, but also a researcher. He sent me to a gyn/onc before we started the Doxil to see if I was eligible for any clinical trials they may have. At first glance it looked like I was a go for one that's in phase 3, but it turned out I wasn't eligible because I never had the debulking surgery. They won't do it because of the involvment of the lung. As for a second opinion, the one I'm more interested in, is from an gyn/onc who will do a partial debulking surgery so that I have at least a 50/50 chance here. I realize it's not a guarantee, but it would give me more hope.

    I am trying to be positive, but boy is it becoming more and more difficult to be upbeat.

    Thank you all so much for your understanding and words of encouragement.

    Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and your families!

    Jane
  • Disneynutt
    Disneynutt Member Posts: 134 Member
    #10
    Yes, Jane, please don't give
    Yes, Jane, please don't give up yet. There ARE other drugs I'm sure.. I am platinum resistant and just had 6 infusions of Taxotere/Avastin. It worked great for me. Did you have that yet? What about a trial drug? Wow, it seems to me to be way to early to give up. Maybe a second opinion like someone else suggested above?

    Take heart.. you are young. Explore all your options.

    Best wishes forever,
    Kate
  • Lisa13Q
    Lisa13Q Member Posts: 677
    #11
    second opinion
    i don't know where you are receiving treatment, but....Tom Rutherford at Yale, Bobbie Gostout at Mayo-Rochester. they head up their gyn/onc cancers
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    #12
    Dear Jane,
    first congratulations on being engaged! I am a 3 1/2 year survivor of OvCa 3C. My husband always says that he knows that my kids and my goals in life have driven to me to be healthy and survive. You have every reason to not give up. I would definitely get a second opinon.
    Hugs,
    kathleen
  • grammy to bella
    grammy to bella Member Posts: 16
    #13
    many drugs
    please keep trying- there are so many drugs and some can be repeated. I personally would feel better with a gynecologic oncologist. I have had 4 reoccurences in 4 plus years. Keep fighting and god bless you.
  • Hissy_Fitz
    Hissy_Fitz Member Posts: 1,834
    #14
    confuzzled said:

    My onc has been practicing
    My onc has been practicing for years, as a matter of fact he is not only an onc, but also a researcher. He sent me to a gyn/onc before we started the Doxil to see if I was eligible for any clinical trials they may have. At first glance it looked like I was a go for one that's in phase 3, but it turned out I wasn't eligible because I never had the debulking surgery. They won't do it because of the involvment of the lung. As for a second opinion, the one I'm more interested in, is from an gyn/onc who will do a partial debulking surgery so that I have at least a 50/50 chance here. I realize it's not a guarantee, but it would give me more hope.

    I am trying to be positive, but boy is it becoming more and more difficult to be upbeat.

    Thank you all so much for your understanding and words of encouragement.

    Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and your families!

    Jane

    Jane, do you live near a
    Jane, do you live near a major cancer center, like MD Anderson, Dana Farber, Sloan Kettering, etc? My Plan B, should I have a recurrence, is to contact MD Anderson and see if they will at least look at my case, make treatment suggestions, etc. I like my gyn/oncologist, but two (or three, or more) heads are better than one, in my opinion.

    And just an FYI....statistically, women treated by a gyn/oncologist fare better than those who are treated solely by an oncologist.

    I think you are on the right track with the surgery.

    Carlene
  • fearbob
    fearbob Member Posts: 21 Member
    #15
    I'm there for you hun,
    I'm there for you hun, its gonna be a tough road ahead for us, i'm scared everyday with you, but our love and belief in god will help us find a way threw this step in our lives path.
    theres times I can't get my own thoughts together.
    to see you when your sick tears me up inside but i can't tell you what i feel everyday!

    to the members of this board all i ask for is prayers and in return i pray for you all each and everyday that they get this cancer stopped so we can retire together .

    hun you have my full support in this and i WILL do whatever I have to to make you comfy.

    I've seen your strength in the hospital and I'm a wimp compared to what your going threw !

    with full love and support , your future husband

    BOB
  • Sandy10
    Sandy10 Member Posts: 80
    #16
    fearbob said:

    I'm there for you hun,
    I'm there for you hun, its gonna be a tough road ahead for us, i'm scared everyday with you, but our love and belief in god will help us find a way threw this step in our lives path.
    theres times I can't get my own thoughts together.
    to see you when your sick tears me up inside but i can't tell you what i feel everyday!

    to the members of this board all i ask for is prayers and in return i pray for you all each and everyday that they get this cancer stopped so we can retire together .

    hun you have my full support in this and i WILL do whatever I have to to make you comfy.

    I've seen your strength in the hospital and I'm a wimp compared to what your going threw !

    with full love and support , your future husband

    BOB

    Bob
    Bob,

    You are an angel!!! I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful it is to have such a strong and loving partner in this fight!!! My husband is also an angel!! He is there for my at every doctors visit, hospital stay and chemo infusion. Cancer not only affects the person with it. cancer effects family and friends and care givers. It is such a tough fight!! It makes it a bit easier to know that we have such a strong support group. My husand has said that the worst part is seeing me sick and there is nothing he can do to fix it. Stay strong!! thank you for taking such good care of your future wife!! I pray for the members of this board every day. God Bless you!!!

    sandy
  • Tina Brown
    Tina Brown Member Posts: 1,036 Member
    #17
    Hi Jane
    You and I are very similar. I too have PPC and am stage 4 as it has spread to my lungs. I have had 6 chest drains to date and have just come out of hospital and am recovering from the last drain. I have had one round of carbo/taxol which I tolerated well and I had good results from. They tried me on Doxil but it didn't work so I am back on carbo/taxol.

    I too have my days when I think "this is it, I will spend the rest of my life being on chemo and feeling ill" but they are just dark days and it is important to put them out of your mind and concentrate on all the good things in your life. No one knows what is round the corner and there may be something new to come out that might just be the thing for us.

    Keep fighting as so will I and we are in this together.

    Tina xx

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