Has Cancer Been ALL Bad For You?
Comments
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Annaarmaiti said:Cancer was a wake up call for me
When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer last year, it felt like a wake up call. My beloved partner had died on July 28, 2006, and I had never got over it. I realized in some ways that I was yearning to join him so badly that I had to make a choice about wanting to live or die. I chose life and had the surgery and chemo. And found that I could love again after three and half years of thinking that I'd be alone the rest of my life. It certainly wasn't an enjoyable lesson to learn, but I feel some good things did come out of it. One was seeing just how much support I had in my community, with folks coming over to clean my house, bring me food and just sit with me and make sure I was ok. I learned the humor of dealing with wigs (I opted for a variety, including a 30" dreadlock wig). And I went for the free stuff that could help, like the "Look Good Feel Better" program where I walked out with over $300 of free cosmetics.
Now, unfortunately the cancer has returned, though it's small and treatable. It's a little harder to figure out the lesson this time around, and I've found myself having a lot more issues with having the re-occurrence, especially since I was so healthy and happy after I finished chemo last year. But it is what it is. I can lay around all day feeling sorry for myself, or I can do my best to take my supplements, do all the alternative practices and treatments I can, while dealing with a monthly Doxil treatment. My spiritual teacher told me "whoever comes to your door, that is your teacher". This one's been a harder teacher to deal with, as I still don't know the outcome. My doctors are optomistic that we caught it so early, and that I have a lot of good years left (I just turned 55). So we will see. Each person has to handle the feelings about their cancer in their own way.
I wish peace, harmony and healing to all of you.
Blessings,
Anna Armaiti
Thank you so much for your comments on this topic. You have such a a great attitude and had a wonderful response. I can see that is what makes you are such a good writer!
-phil0 -
chenheart said:
Well phooey then! If you are
Well phooey then! If you are going to make perfect sense and give me nothing to take issue with, what's the point?! LOL LOL
I know! I know! May I exchange my cancer(or yours) for the grass??? Now we're talking!
Love ya, Joe!
Hugs,
Chen♥
You can in Cali.
Take care my sweet friend,
Joe0 -
Evilunknown said:This comment has been removed by the Moderator
I've said this exact thing more than once, and long before I myself was diagnosed with breast cancer. I lost a sister to lung cancer. She was diagnosed at Stage IV with secondary tumors in one leg and her brain. I then lost my mother-in-law, who was my best friend, to brain cancer. She was diagnosed with a grade IV tumor. My sister's cancer was my first "up close and personal" encounter with the disease. I have often called it evil since. I think it is one of the most horrible things that anyone can encounter, whether as a patient or as a loved one as a patient.
However, I completely understand the entire concept of looking for and recognizing the "good" that has come from it. What comes to mind is the Tim McGraw song, "Live Like You Were Dying."
My mother died unexpectedly when I was 17. She was just there, and then gone with no warning at all. That was the life experience that taught me to live each day as though it might be the last. Honestly, there have still been times when I got... complacent, just going through the motions I suppose. But I have always made it a point to let the people I love know it. Losing my father (non cancer), sister, and mother-in-law on reinforced that habit.
So, now that I am the patient, I cannot specifically think of something in my life that I think I could give cancer credit for helping me understand. I know that so many others out there could not say the same, though. The whole point of McGraw's song is a former patient telling someone else that he hoped they got the chance to live like they were dying. No one would wish cancer on anyone. No one would wish the self-revelations many cancer patients come to on anyone else either, if they only way they could get there was by having cancer as well. But while I would never have wished anyone would endure the grief I have known in my life, I often wish others could learn the lessons I have learned. Just like a parent who tells their child not to touch something hot. We so desperately want others to benefit from what we already know. We want to spare our child the pain of being burned because we already KNOW it will happen if they touch the stove or whatever. But ultimately, the vast majority of the time, that child does not fully learn that lesson until they put their hand or finger on the stove and experience the pain first hand. It's the same way with the way we live our lives and the appreciation we have for that life and the people & things we love.
Most people won't appreciate it fully until they're confronted with the reality of losing it. I think Cancerite may have been one of the rare ones who already knew what really mattered in life. I just wish, for her, that she could cease mourning for what is gone (and honestly isn't ever coming back) and live her "new normal" life with the same appreciation and zeal. I guess I spend a fair amount of time recognizing how much worse it could be for me. Yes, I have breast cancer. At the moment, it isn't life threatening. We caught it early and my prognosis is good. But, I will spend the rest of my life wondering if it will come back. Still, it could be worse. I'm not dead. I'm not dying. The fact is (as I think Phil pointed out earlier) I could be on my way to the grocery store and get hit by a truck and find myself paralyzed or with the kind of brain damage that would make living outside a facility impossible. It happens. To me, the cancer is no different that that. It is what it is. I will carry it with me for the rest of my life, whether that's a week, a few months, or fifty years.
Life itself is a gift. Every single day is a present. To let cancer - or anything else - turn us into someone who does not appreciate that gift is to let the disease win. I will NOT do that! It is evil, but I know that it can open a person's eyes as well. Too few people life their lives to the fullest. Some need cancer or another equally difficult trial to help them do so. We aren't all like that, but I think most of us are.
I hope I don't offend anyone. It certainly isn't my intention. I have considered myself blessed to find this site. It wasn't here when my sister died, and not like this when I lost my mother-in-law either. Having others who have been through or are going through the same things I am is a true blessing. I am thankful that I have this resource. And while I would never wish this on anyone, I am grateful for those of you who have walked the road ahead of me.
Blessings to everyone,
Jenn
PS: sorry I was so long-winded! 0 -
Thanks for your response Jennwinsomebulldog said:Evil
I've said this exact thing more than once, and long before I myself was diagnosed with breast cancer. I lost a sister to lung cancer. She was diagnosed at Stage IV with secondary tumors in one leg and her brain. I then lost my mother-in-law, who was my best friend, to brain cancer. She was diagnosed with a grade IV tumor. My sister's cancer was my first "up close and personal" encounter with the disease. I have often called it evil since. I think it is one of the most horrible things that anyone can encounter, whether as a patient or as a loved one as a patient.
However, I completely understand the entire concept of looking for and recognizing the "good" that has come from it. What comes to mind is the Tim McGraw song, "Live Like You Were Dying."
My mother died unexpectedly when I was 17. She was just there, and then gone with no warning at all. That was the life experience that taught me to live each day as though it might be the last. Honestly, there have still been times when I got... complacent, just going through the motions I suppose. But I have always made it a point to let the people I love know it. Losing my father (non cancer), sister, and mother-in-law on reinforced that habit.
So, now that I am the patient, I cannot specifically think of something in my life that I think I could give cancer credit for helping me understand. I know that so many others out there could not say the same, though. The whole point of McGraw's song is a former patient telling someone else that he hoped they got the chance to live like they were dying. No one would wish cancer on anyone. No one would wish the self-revelations many cancer patients come to on anyone else either, if they only way they could get there was by having cancer as well. But while I would never have wished anyone would endure the grief I have known in my life, I often wish others could learn the lessons I have learned. Just like a parent who tells their child not to touch something hot. We so desperately want others to benefit from what we already know. We want to spare our child the pain of being burned because we already KNOW it will happen if they touch the stove or whatever. But ultimately, the vast majority of the time, that child does not fully learn that lesson until they put their hand or finger on the stove and experience the pain first hand. It's the same way with the way we live our lives and the appreciation we have for that life and the people & things we love.
Most people won't appreciate it fully until they're confronted with the reality of losing it. I think Cancerite may have been one of the rare ones who already knew what really mattered in life. I just wish, for her, that she could cease mourning for what is gone (and honestly isn't ever coming back) and live her "new normal" life with the same appreciation and zeal. I guess I spend a fair amount of time recognizing how much worse it could be for me. Yes, I have breast cancer. At the moment, it isn't life threatening. We caught it early and my prognosis is good. But, I will spend the rest of my life wondering if it will come back. Still, it could be worse. I'm not dead. I'm not dying. The fact is (as I think Phil pointed out earlier) I could be on my way to the grocery store and get hit by a truck and find myself paralyzed or with the kind of brain damage that would make living outside a facility impossible. It happens. To me, the cancer is no different that that. It is what it is. I will carry it with me for the rest of my life, whether that's a week, a few months, or fifty years.
Life itself is a gift. Every single day is a present. To let cancer - or anything else - turn us into someone who does not appreciate that gift is to let the disease win. I will NOT do that! It is evil, but I know that it can open a person's eyes as well. Too few people life their lives to the fullest. Some need cancer or another equally difficult trial to help them do so. We aren't all like that, but I think most of us are.
I hope I don't offend anyone. It certainly isn't my intention. I have considered myself blessed to find this site. It wasn't here when my sister died, and not like this when I lost my mother-in-law either. Having others who have been through or are going through the same things I am is a true blessing. I am thankful that I have this resource. And while I would never wish this on anyone, I am grateful for those of you who have walked the road ahead of me.
Blessings to everyone,
Jenn
PS: sorry I was so long-winded!
This is a tough topic to get across for me because it seems easy to sound like I took everything for granted or didn't give a $hit about things before cancer which is so far from the truth. I always appreciated everything that I've had. Maybe it has made how I prioritize my time change where before cancer I might have had a different set of priorities and worried about things that in the scope of the bigger picture are really just not that important. So what if such and such a thing does not get done today. Other people may freak out and I might have before but now I don't. I've always been very thankful for my family and friends though and also that I have all of my marbles. I don't see cancer as good or as evil. It's not capable of having those qualities that are unique to people. It's like a lion that kills a person, the lion isn't evil, it's just being a lion. That is something we project on to it. It is what it is and it is what we make of it. It's like the saying that no one can take advantage of you unless you let them. So to me cancer can't be evil unless I give it the power to be so. It has been an eye opening event in my life though and not all of it has been bad.
Again, thanks for your response0 -
" I like to see the flowers springing up..."mariam_11_09 said:I guess I don't see cancer
I guess I don't see cancer as 'bad' or 'evil' but rather a natural part of life (probably what you call a neutral force Joe). It has been around for very long time and up until recently there hasn't been an effective way to deal with it. Hence my gratitude for being born today as opposed to hundred or more years ago. Death is also a natural part of life that people don't take on unless they have to.
I would never have willing signed up for cancer nor death nor some other things that happen in life but since it occurred I like to see the flowers springing up in spaces where the bombs are not falling. I dunno seeing a little more of the bigger picture, we can't have life without death. Call somethings good, somethings bad or whatever but as soon as we start labeling it, it affect our experience of it and as you said Joe, makes it worse than it has to be.
.
What an elegant way of putting it, mariam!
Take care,
Joe0 -
Being blessed
Cancer is bad but I feel you have to find the good out of everything. My Husband taught me that . yes I hate that I have Cancer and can't believe that it happened to me (neither can the doctors.) But the silver lining is . I found god again, found out how many people I am blessed with. How many people I have in my life praying for me daily. And I also don't take anything for granted. Enjoy everything my kids are doing and saying. My husband and the world around me. I am in Gods hands. Even though sometimes its a dark road I always come out on the bright side. The lord god will hold your right hand , saying to you Fear not, I will Help you. When life gets scary, God is with us, We can hold His strong Hand. you will never walk alone, Jesus will be right beside you all the way. He walks alongside us and holds our hand at the scary Parts. I always keep this in mind....0 -
Great SpiritEdward W said:Great Spirit
I think it is phenominal that Native Americans knew of a "Great Spirit" even before the first Europeans got here
I'm certainly no theologian but from what I do know so many cultures dating back thousands of years (pre-Christianity) believed in a "Great Spirit" or some "Higher Power". It's been a theme throughout mankind, I think it's something we need. People like to have reasons for why we are here and things like that.
Maybe (just maybe) they are all talking about the same thing. I think the Native American's Great Spirit was a more forgiving Spirit with fewer rules than the European's version.0 -
Gettng it right (or closerPhillieG said:Great Spirit
I'm certainly no theologian but from what I do know so many cultures dating back thousands of years (pre-Christianity) believed in a "Great Spirit" or some "Higher Power". It's been a theme throughout mankind, I think it's something we need. People like to have reasons for why we are here and things like that.
Maybe (just maybe) they are all talking about the same thing. I think the Native American's Great Spirit was a more forgiving Spirit with fewer rules than the European's version.)
I get your point, I guess, but you are missing a lot. To begin with, even the Chrisian tradition I think you refer to with your "European' mention is actually not European at all. Christianity and its precedents begin in the deserts of the Middle East. We are talking about Arabs and Jews and those who preceded them. While white people, especially, in America, think it is their religion, Christianity was actually born in the Middle East among people of different colors and languages, whether we like it or not. We may not like them on our airplanes, but they established our religion.
It is simplistic to compare Native American religion to European, if your intent is to slam Christianity (and you know, Phil, where I stand on this one).
Of more glaring omission is the absence of Oriental religioun, which is as old as just about anything you can think of and probably influenced all others, especially given the notion that it was migration of Orientals to North America that established viable populations in this land.
In addition, while Native Americans may have believed in a "Great Spirit" (at least on television), they were pantheistic: they, for the most part, believed that there were gods (or spirits) in everything. As far as I know, and chenheart can correct me on this if I am wrong, they did not celebrate one god but many, on many different days, in many different ways.
But enough ranting from me
Take care,
Joe0 -
Has Cancer Been ALL Bad For You?
Thanks for the chance to think about this subject. I found out I had breast cancer in October 2010. Had a bi-lateral mastectomy and now I'm facing a year of chemo/Herceptin. I know many would disagree with me, but it has not been ALL bad. Cancer stopped my preoccupation with this world and its little problems that seemed so big before. When I heard my diagnosis it was like I had a sheet of paper in front of me with "Important" and "Not Important" columns clearly defined. After I was over the shock, God moved into my life with comfort and care and all sorts of things that were truly necessary for my health and wellbeing. I wouldn't want to have to face cancer without God's love and peace, and thanksfully I don't have to. Will I get better and live? Will I depart this world, and if so, when? Don't know. All I know is that either way I don't have to do it alone. Thanks be to God.0 -
WelcomethanksbetoGod said:Has Cancer Been ALL Bad For You?
Thanks for the chance to think about this subject. I found out I had breast cancer in October 2010. Had a bi-lateral mastectomy and now I'm facing a year of chemo/Herceptin. I know many would disagree with me, but it has not been ALL bad. Cancer stopped my preoccupation with this world and its little problems that seemed so big before. When I heard my diagnosis it was like I had a sheet of paper in front of me with "Important" and "Not Important" columns clearly defined. After I was over the shock, God moved into my life with comfort and care and all sorts of things that were truly necessary for my health and wellbeing. I wouldn't want to have to face cancer without God's love and peace, and thanksfully I don't have to. Will I get better and live? Will I depart this world, and if so, when? Don't know. All I know is that either way I don't have to do it alone. Thanks be to God.
Welcome to the site and thanks for the insight. I am one of the (few) resident agnostics on this site, I think, but always look forward to fresh voices.
I wish you the best in your survivorship!
Take care,
Joe0 -
Thank yousoccerfreaks said:Welcome
Welcome to the site and thanks for the insight. I am one of the (few) resident agnostics on this site, I think, but always look forward to fresh voices.
I wish you the best in your survivorship!
Take care,
Joe
Thanks Joe! I appreciate your comments and wish you the best as well. It's such a comfort to have companions on this long, strange trip called cancer.
Take care, Beverly0
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