I hate cancer

Dear Kelly - the Long and Winding Road
I don't know how long you have been coping with this, but I can certainly validate the challenge of it all. My mother was diagnosed in July 2009 III-C...and yes her life (our lives) have changed. We live with cancer (a roommate none of us wanted). We all HATE it. I can't decide if the doctors who treat it are heroines or sadists... Despite the beast being in the car with us, you know what, we are doing ok...Mom and I have mended fences....we have had laughs at the stupidest little things....and then I get angry at the monster who has changed everything...deep down your mother is still the same person...and you do adjust....and yes it sucks BIG time,,,,and it is sooooo normal to be angry....and I am sorry you have to go through this...thanks for sharing and venting. It helps me and other caretakers as well to know we aren't the only ones, and that we aren't alone. Your Mom is lucky to have you, and you are doing a great thing in helping her navigate through this...Please keep us posted. Lisa

srwruns said:

Lots of emotions lately on
Lots of emotions lately on various posts, and also within me...I'm wondering if the seasonal transition is excaberating emotions...and with Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner. I have been feeling down also. I've dealt with the shock of the diagnosis and starting to feel pretty well post surgery...only to subject myself to chemo starting Friday. I too, wonder, will I ever be the same? I suspect in many ways, not. I have heard many refer to the "new normal". That is what I am reminding myself. I also recently heard a sentiment that resonated with me...it went something like this: "bad things, horrible things happen to us; they become a part of us; but they don't define us"...so I work hard everyday to revisit who I am as a person, and while cancer may consume my body, I will not allow it to consume ME.

I like that "bad things"
I like that "bad things" sentiment...I'll write that down. It is hard to not be a cancer patient and be normal. As I begin my second round of chemo, I'm trying to work and just do all the things I normally do as much as possible. I refuse to let cancer steal any more of my life. My mom told me I didn't have to cook anything for Thanksgiving since I'm getting treatments. I told her no, I want to. I want to do all the things I normally do!! I get tired of "It's ok if you don't do that, you have cancer". No, I want to do everthing!! Sorry, just ranting...

beth1465 said:

I like that "bad things"
I like that "bad things" sentiment...I'll write that down. It is hard to not be a cancer patient and be normal. As I begin my second round of chemo, I'm trying to work and just do all the things I normally do as much as possible. I refuse to let cancer steal any more of my life. My mom told me I didn't have to cook anything for Thanksgiving since I'm getting treatments. I told her no, I want to. I want to do all the things I normally do!! I get tired of "It's ok if you don't do that, you have cancer". No, I want to do everthing!! Sorry, just ranting...

Back to normal
My surgeon pronounced me in remission on 11/03 and although I feared I would be dwelling on recurrance, I have not. I gradually started feeling like my old self. I began driving for the first time since March. I started going places by myself. On the way to the the nail salon to get my "teal toes" I suddenly said to myself, "I am back." One day as I was going out the door I heard my mom tell someone on the phone, Karen is going to the store; by herself. I am 62 years old but my family has gotten used to taking care of me the last several months. I felt like a teenager taking the car for the first time. But it feels so good to return to my normal(okay, abby normal)self. Yes, the possibility of recurrance is in the back of my mind but I will not let it dictate my life.

Karen