Need to let it out.

Swissgirl
Swissgirl Member Posts: 8
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Hi folks,
I have written here only once before. I have deluded myself into believing that if I stood guard over my father and his cancer, the inevitable could be avoided. He has poorly differentiated neuroendocrine carcinoma of the pancreas - similiar to small cell. As of his July 2010 scan, it has spread to some lymph nodes and his liver. The reason I am writing now has to do with his current hospitalization for sepsis. They are not positive how it originated. He is passed the crisis point, but now it seems his heart does not a a regular rythem and he seems confused and severly irritated (ie. mad) that he's there.

I don't know if this is the end or just a step in that direction. I am so in flux that I figured writing might ground me. Thank you all for you patience.

Comments

  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    sepsis does strange things
    I feel for you, honey, because my saint of a father recovered from a rare cancer only to have extensive pancreatic cancer take him down suddenly two years later. He was gone in a month. Hopefully you will get more time, but meanwhile don't be upset by his confusion. Toxins in the body from the infection have messed him up, and as he improves he should return to himself. If he doesn't, well, you'll find a way to cope with that, too.

    The cancer was never within your control, but looking out for your father, now that's love talking. Good luck with this day.
  • Pennymac02
    Pennymac02 Member Posts: 332 Member
    Elderly?
    Swissgirl,
    Sometimes older folks can get mentally confused when they have infections. I could always tell when my mothers white count went up because she'd be hateful to my sister and myself, and most of all the nurses. Maybe after some more antibiotics he'll get better.
    Penny
  • Swissgirl
    Swissgirl Member Posts: 8
    Barbara53 said:

    sepsis does strange things
    I feel for you, honey, because my saint of a father recovered from a rare cancer only to have extensive pancreatic cancer take him down suddenly two years later. He was gone in a month. Hopefully you will get more time, but meanwhile don't be upset by his confusion. Toxins in the body from the infection have messed him up, and as he improves he should return to himself. If he doesn't, well, you'll find a way to cope with that, too.

    The cancer was never within your control, but looking out for your father, now that's love talking. Good luck with this day.

    Thank you
    Thank you so much for listening. I've been in such a panic mode that I all I can feel is terror. So far, I've had the ups and downs as well as my father. We hope to get him home soon.
  • Swissgirl
    Swissgirl Member Posts: 8

    Elderly?
    Swissgirl,
    Sometimes older folks can get mentally confused when they have infections. I could always tell when my mothers white count went up because she'd be hateful to my sister and myself, and most of all the nurses. Maybe after some more antibiotics he'll get better.
    Penny

    Thank you
    Pennymac02,

    To be truthful, as much as I love my dad, he could be one hell of a grouch even when he wasn't sick. Thank you so much for listening to my concerns and for the tip about the confusion.

    Swissgirl