Despair.

Sarahsvet
Sarahsvet Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am a 25 year old daughter of a strong woman who is currently battling staqe 4 breast cancer which has metastasized to her bones and liver. She was diagnosed two years ago and during the last two years her marriage of 32 years has fallen apart. We found out my dad was cheating on her and basically sucking her dry (financially and emotionally) for the last 4 years. Their divorce was finalized a few months ago. She is now alone living in her one bedroom apartment and was forced to go back to work today due to the financial situation my father has left her in.
At night she becomes so lonely and her anxiety is so high that I am afraid she will do something to harm herself. It has been a year since my dad left but it has only become worse. My sister and I are always there for her and do the best we can, I even moved two minutes away from her to make sure we are always close enough. Yet, nothing we do or say helps her. Her self-esteem is lower than dirt and she has never been on her own her entire life. This divorce has affected her more than the actual diagnosis of cancer. She has seen therapists and psychiatrists and nothing has helped so far. Please let me know if or anything there is for me to do and if anyone knows of a support group out there for women battling cancer and divorce in Los Angeles. I am desperate.

Comments

  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #2
    I am so sorry that you and
    I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this ordeal. I am in TX, so I have no idea about resources in your area. You might try contacting your local branch of the American Cancer society to see if there might be a support group. You might also contact local churches for support groups for divorced persons, or single adult groups that she could get involved with, just to have some people to do fun stuff with. Maybe you could see if she would like to volunteer to do something like reading to children in a library or local school, or taking care of animals in a shelter, or fostering pets....something to get her busy thinking of someone or something outside of herself. Many people find that kind of thing helpful. Maybe her cancer treatment center could get her involved in a cancer survivor support group. If she is able to drive, maybe she could drive other patients to her treatments, or find someone to trade off with.

    I hope you are able to find help for her soon, seof
  • Marsha Mulvey
    Marsha Mulvey Member Posts: 597 Member
    #3
    sarahsvet
    I'm very sorry to hear of the situation your mother is in. Stage IV is hard enough, add to that a recent divorce and financial problems and it must sometimes seem hopeless. It's not! And there must be some group or organization out there to help her through. So keep searching.

    Actually, I believe that returning to work may "work" miracles for her. It gives you something to get out of bed for, something to look forward to, and a feeling of self-worth. This is my personal opinion. I have Stage IV breast cancer, was divorced a year and a half prior to diagnosis, and am working. My children are also grown, though I see them frequently, I don't expect them to give up their lives to always be with me.

    Please come back and tell us her progress. We'd like to hear from your mom too, if she'd like to join in. God bless you and your family.
    Marsha
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #4
    Marsha Mulvey said:

    sarahsvet
    I'm very sorry to hear of the situation your mother is in. Stage IV is hard enough, add to that a recent divorce and financial problems and it must sometimes seem hopeless. It's not! And there must be some group or organization out there to help her through. So keep searching.

    Actually, I believe that returning to work may "work" miracles for her. It gives you something to get out of bed for, something to look forward to, and a feeling of self-worth. This is my personal opinion. I have Stage IV breast cancer, was divorced a year and a half prior to diagnosis, and am working. My children are also grown, though I see them frequently, I don't expect them to give up their lives to always be with me.

    Please come back and tell us her progress. We'd like to hear from your mom too, if she'd like to join in. God bless you and your family.
    Marsha

    We have a big group in Los Angeles
    Several very active members of this board live in Greater Los Angeles area (at least 20 people). Where exactly does she live? I live in Torrance. Wellness community foundation has chapters in, Santa Monica, Torrance, West Hills. You can look up on line. UCLA has a support group as well as other big hospitals. We can also put her in touch with any of us. Can she join CSN it will be very helpful. Also Chat room is available too.
    Please let us know. I can call her if you like.Please write me PM/e-mail.
    New Flower
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
    #5
    I'm so sorry to hear about
    I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom, Maybe you can try contacting the American cancer society. I don't live in your state so I don't know what is there. You could try researching it on the Internet. I hope your Mom feels better soon. It is very hard to have your husband walk away from you especially when your sick. ( Jack A$$ ) Does your Mom like her work or just some thing she has to do? Maybe she can take up some thing she really loves. this is the worst time in her life, But she is blessed to have two daughters that are there and love her. You Girls are her life,Love her all the way through this. You are all in my prayers and thoughts. Take care Kay,
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #6
    I am so so sorry for your mom and your family
    NO words of wisdom just sending good thoughts your way!

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