last day treatment depression

cwillnow
cwillnow Member Posts: 12
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi All....Thanks for answering my questions about radiation burn. I appreciate all the comments! New question...My last day of treatment is tomorrow and I'm feeling a little depressed. I know I should be really happy because I have been looking forward to this day for months, but a part of me isn't. Has anyone else experienced this?

Carol

Comments

  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    #2
    Hi Carol :)
    I didn't have
    Hi Carol :)
    I didn't have rads but I had my last chemo treatment almost a month ago, and I am in a depression. Not only from ending treatment, but also because im in ALOT of constant pain from my tissue expanders for breast reconstruction, and also i no longer have the "safety net" of chemo working to kill off any stray cancer cells that might be roaming about. Some people around me also seem to think that I should be right back to my pre-cancer self now that I'm no longer having chemo, and I just can't do that. I get frustrated because my body cant keep up with me, and I still have pretty bad fatigue.
    These feelings we have are completely normal, though, and will fade as we adjust to our "new normal"
    *hugs*
    Heather
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #3
    Heatherbelle said:

    Hi Carol :)
    I didn't have
    Hi Carol :)
    I didn't have rads but I had my last chemo treatment almost a month ago, and I am in a depression. Not only from ending treatment, but also because im in ALOT of constant pain from my tissue expanders for breast reconstruction, and also i no longer have the "safety net" of chemo working to kill off any stray cancer cells that might be roaming about. Some people around me also seem to think that I should be right back to my pre-cancer self now that I'm no longer having chemo, and I just can't do that. I get frustrated because my body cant keep up with me, and I still have pretty bad fatigue.
    These feelings we have are completely normal, though, and will fade as we adjust to our "new normal"
    *hugs*
    Heather

    yes its the uncertainty and
    yes its the uncertainty and different focus away from treatment. then you are faced with the what now.? You spend so much time trying to get through the treatment . also fatique is a huge factor and as you feel better you mood should improve. (not to mention the hormonal part of it too, if you have had chemo or tamoxifen arimedex etc...)
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #4
    mmmm sorry to hear
    THE Only date I remember with all my breast cancer is my last day of radiation! I bought an ediable arrangment for all the staff...

    I THOUGHT i was done with them for ever-little did i know I'd get call time to come back and see us..I LOVED the staff...but Happy to not see them.

    I hope things ease a bit..good luck! feel better
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #5
    Normal Feelings
    I totally understand your feelings........last year after lumpectomy, 12 weeks of chemo and 6 1/2 weeks of radiation, I couldn't WAIT TO BE FINISHED.........BUT....starting the last week of radiation I had a total meltdown in my radiation oncologist's office...I hadn't really cried much during all this but I absoulutely had a sobbing meltdown.....I couldn't help but feel that for 9 months, everyday I was fighting for my life......I was doing SOMETHING to beat bc...It had become my job.....and then boom! It was going to end! My question to my oncologist......"now what do I do?"....I could hardly spit the words out, I was crying so hard. He began by telling me what I was experiencing was perfectly normal......normal reaction to being finished with treatment.......that he would be rather worried if I weren't feeling this way...that all that had happened to me was traumatic...he told me it would take time and as much time as I needed to readjust to my "new normal." I actually never thought I would reach that again.....I felt so scared....But I promise, that will pass.......it does take time, I finished all treatment 13 months ago.....I won't say it was a cake walk but as time passed I did begin to feel somewhat "normal" again. I still have anxiety when I have to have blood work done, my first post bc mammogram and seeing my doctors.....but that passes too, when I receive good news. I have fully accepted that the life I had BEFORE breast cancer is gone...I think that was the hardest to accept...My life has changed because of it, but I have tried to not let it rule the rest of my life..I'm still the same person, but things have changed, most for the good......It's always lurking in the back of my mind, the "what ifs" but I've gotten pretty good at pushing that aside. I don't want bc to define me.......I am NOT BREAST CANCER........I am me....for better or worse!

    All I can add, is, take your time.....Each of us are different in our reactions to all this. Take all the time you need to get over the trauma your body and mind have endured. Don't let anyone tell you, "You should be over this by now." Only you can determine what's right for you.....

    I wish you all the best
    Nancy
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #6
    MAJW said:

    Normal Feelings
    I totally understand your feelings........last year after lumpectomy, 12 weeks of chemo and 6 1/2 weeks of radiation, I couldn't WAIT TO BE FINISHED.........BUT....starting the last week of radiation I had a total meltdown in my radiation oncologist's office...I hadn't really cried much during all this but I absoulutely had a sobbing meltdown.....I couldn't help but feel that for 9 months, everyday I was fighting for my life......I was doing SOMETHING to beat bc...It had become my job.....and then boom! It was going to end! My question to my oncologist......"now what do I do?"....I could hardly spit the words out, I was crying so hard. He began by telling me what I was experiencing was perfectly normal......normal reaction to being finished with treatment.......that he would be rather worried if I weren't feeling this way...that all that had happened to me was traumatic...he told me it would take time and as much time as I needed to readjust to my "new normal." I actually never thought I would reach that again.....I felt so scared....But I promise, that will pass.......it does take time, I finished all treatment 13 months ago.....I won't say it was a cake walk but as time passed I did begin to feel somewhat "normal" again. I still have anxiety when I have to have blood work done, my first post bc mammogram and seeing my doctors.....but that passes too, when I receive good news. I have fully accepted that the life I had BEFORE breast cancer is gone...I think that was the hardest to accept...My life has changed because of it, but I have tried to not let it rule the rest of my life..I'm still the same person, but things have changed, most for the good......It's always lurking in the back of my mind, the "what ifs" but I've gotten pretty good at pushing that aside. I don't want bc to define me.......I am NOT BREAST CANCER........I am me....for better or worse!

    All I can add, is, take your time.....Each of us are different in our reactions to all this. Take all the time you need to get over the trauma your body and mind have endured. Don't let anyone tell you, "You should be over this by now." Only you can determine what's right for you.....

    I wish you all the best
    Nancy

    everyone goes at own pace
    I hope everything is going smoother for all....ONE day at a time..right?
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #7
    The feeling does indeed pass in due time! (((((hugs))))))
    I especially felt that way after chemo~ depression and a bit of fear thrown in..rather like being on a tighrope with no safety net for the first time! SCARY! I finished rads mid-December and I bought cute small gifts for the two techs who were with me every day through the 33 rads. I also took boxes of See's chocolates to the chemo RN's with orders for them NOT to share with the oncologists~ seriously, I saw the RNs more often, found them to be incredibly nurturing, and oh yeah! the docs can better afford to buy their own candy! LOL

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    #8
    chenheart said:

    The feeling does indeed pass in due time! (((((hugs))))))
    I especially felt that way after chemo~ depression and a bit of fear thrown in..rather like being on a tighrope with no safety net for the first time! SCARY! I finished rads mid-December and I bought cute small gifts for the two techs who were with me every day through the 33 rads. I also took boxes of See's chocolates to the chemo RN's with orders for them NOT to share with the oncologists~ seriously, I saw the RNs more often, found them to be incredibly nurturing, and oh yeah! the docs can better afford to buy their own candy! LOL

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    depressed too
    I know exactly what you mean. After I had my lumpectomy, taxol/herceptin ... then radiation ... and continuing herceptin for a year ... when I went for that last herceptin treatment I was really "down." I had spent a year of my life listening to people tell me what I needed to do ... then after a year I was "turned loose" ... and on my own. I didn't feel competent to take care of myself. How was I going to recognize any changes in my body ... what about blood work .. scans etc. I felt totally lost. And ... that's been since March ... and I must admit that I think I still feel a bit lost. I feel relieved when I need to go for my six-month mammogram ... or see the radiologist or oncologist ... or any of the old crew that used to "take care of me." Maybe that's part of why I'm not too anxious to get my port removed. As long as I have my port ... I still have to go in every 6 weeks to have it flushed ... so at least some professional who is familiar with me ... sees me. Even if it is only for 2 minutes ... :-)

    hugs.
    teena
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #9
    It is good that you
    It is good that you recognize what you are feeling. You can tell from the responses that what you are feeling is common among us. We do all sorts of things to help us cope. For some it's therapy; for others it's support groups. Some of us try yoga and meditation and others look to other religious and spiritual support. We exercise; we serve others. Medications can help as well. We do these things alone or in combination. Giving yourself time to heal and to get your energy back is important. Hugs to you, Carol. xoxoxo Lynn
  • cwillnow
    cwillnow Member Posts: 12
    #10
    lynn1950 said:

    It is good that you
    It is good that you recognize what you are feeling. You can tell from the responses that what you are feeling is common among us. We do all sorts of things to help us cope. For some it's therapy; for others it's support groups. Some of us try yoga and meditation and others look to other religious and spiritual support. We exercise; we serve others. Medications can help as well. We do these things alone or in combination. Giving yourself time to heal and to get your energy back is important. Hugs to you, Carol. xoxoxo Lynn

    Thanks so much for the
    Thanks so much for the responses...I love this site! It sucks that BC is what has brought us together, but it's great that we can come here and talk, vent or ask questions to others going through the same thing! Thank you all!!!

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