Bad things happen to good people...

The Greatest Fear of All...
Chriss

This is such heartbreaking news - as I sat here and read this, it brings so many things back to the front burner on what we all go through dealing with a cancer diagnosis.

I've always said, it was never about the Cancer itself - it's always the collateral damage and the side effects past the initial tragedy. A decade ago, we had our home wiped out in an F-3 tornado. But, it was never about the tornado, it was about insurance on the property and your personal possessions, finding a licensed and bonded contractor, who was out to take you and steal you blind, and all the while trying to stay fit in to what the everyday life was.

Years ago, one of my health care nurses told me, "Don't worry, Mr. H., you just worry about getting better." I told her "honey, all of this better happen in 3 months, because they got my job in their hands and were trying to get rid of me before this cancer. If I don't hold onto work, we'll be changing my dressing out in the street."

I think all of our greatest fears are to lose the security of our lives. By that, I mean, being able to meet the monthly payroll and keep our lightbulbs turned on and a plate of cornbread on the table from time to time. When we are threatened with having that taken away, especially from something like illness, it strikes to the very fabric of our being, where we are most vulnearable, especially as we age. So much competition and non-cancer people to choose from, what can we possibly offer? Yet we need some type of income or what will happen. Many of us do not have family that we could stay with or that would lend support, so that means we would be alone. It's a scary proposition.

Kim and I have often shared the same talk you've had with your husband - "when we will get our life back?" After 10-years of tornadoes and all of this cancer for the past 6+ years, we've lost a DECADE of our live 2000-2010 R.I.P. We were 39 and now 49, and those were the good years of our lives - now, just flushed down the proverbial toilet. Now, weakened from illness, with medical bills that would break a millionaire, we too are still fighting as we churn towards our 7th year of this cancer.....and more bills coming. I've stopped thinking about it....I let $$$ get in the way this year and that critical mistake nearly killed me. It took an Angel to knock some sense into my head and got me back on track.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I do understand some of the feelings you are expressing today - my greatest fear is that I will be following in your footsteps. I'm trying to get back to work, but I've left 4x, so you always wonder when they are going to "make a change." And my health insurance and my entire livelihood rides on this job. Now, nearly 50, with a Stage IV cancer, my options are not as bountiful as they once were. I'm trying to tie a knot in it and hang on.

Your story does upset me greatly! That's my biggest rage, is why we have to lose the homes we worked our whole lives for, because we ended up with Cancer?

"Am I a person only concerned with the things that don't really matter?"

Answer: I don't think that you are. You are people that don't deserve to lose what you worked hard for your whole lives....and that's your home and your security. These are the basic principles of life and all of us are scared to lose either of those, much less both.

It's time like this where I wish I had a Foundation, where I could administer direct help to those, who are in need of such help. A real grass roots operation, where mortgage payments could be made and the utilities turned on, with some food on the pantry. I believe these are the big diferences that money could make happen - and provide real help for cancer patients. I've got nothing against big Cancer societies and donating to them, but there is a certain bureaucracy there and all of the money does not get funneled down to those in need.

If I were a philanthropist, I'd love to take care of matters like this - to have the freedom to stay in your house, with a little help from a friend.

There was an old timer here, named Kimby. She was a dear woman - she was dying of cancer and having her house foreclosed on at the same time - she passed away before they could move her out, so she got to stay in there. But her story rang a bell inside me of what's wrong with a society that allows us to lose what we work for due to illness.

I'm sorry to go on so - stories like yours strike a personal note with me, and I fear that one day, it could be us.

It sounds like you got a good offer on your home, so at least you are not having to give it away and take a loss. I'm just so sorry for everything that you are going through today.

((((CHRISS))))

-Craig

You are not alone:
So, so many are in the same boat with our crappy health care system. What I don't get (well most of the time anyway) why it has to cost so so much. With co-pays, deductibles it makes you dizzy. We were looking forward to retirement, a modest retirement, but retirement nonetheless. Well, cancer struck, and it is flying out the window. Sometimes I sit here and think about it and it makes me sick. I told my sister the other day that working for 30 plus years was a waste of time, would be farther ahead just living off the system.

You say it is just a house, but it is your house, and you worked for it, it wasn't handed to you. I'm so sorry you had to sell it.

There was a young woman on here almost every knew, Donna, who I Pm'd with occasionally and one of the last things she told me was she had to hide her van from the repo man, she needed it for treatment. Donna lost her battle suddenly but her message still haunts me. I wonder about her husband and 4 children and how they are doing since one of Donna's fears was leaving her family behind. This is America, these things should not happen. Our government spends so much time worrying about other countries with their hands out they forget about their own. Makes me sick.

So you go ahead and vent all you need to. If there are any people that understand it is the people on this board.

Take care - Tina

I'd like to offer a suggestion
Your words were touching and beautifully written. No one could have expressed better the plight of so many in our situation who've been productive our whole lives,and did our best for our country only to find ourselves in a situation where help is promised but nothing comes of it.If you're up to it, send your beautifully written piece to Mr Obama. Don't change a word, and ask him why he didn't seem to be speaking about you in his speech. Keep plugging and never give up. Sometimes when I get into that 'why me?' mode I try to think of it as a lesson, there's something to be learned from this and if I can figure it out I'll be that much better a person.
Carl

It is very depressing. I
It is very depressing. I lost my job while out on disability from my last lung surgery and therefore am on COBRA. For me and my children, cobra was almost $1100 a month...well who can afford that with no job??? (And what kind of person/employer must you be to eliminate the job of a person fighting cancer anyway???-but that's a different rant). One positive healthcare reform came with the 65% reduction in COBRA payments if you lost your job before May 31st..."lucky me", I lost my job on May 19th!! So now instead of paying close to $1100, I'm only paying about $400. Drawback...that's only good for 15 months. And I think COBRA only lasts 18 months anyway, so I have no idea what I will do for those last 3 months, and even less idea of what I'm supposed to do after my COBRA expires. At least my ex-husband can then carry our children on his employer plan, but me???...don't know. This country is so backwards in it's thinking. I look at so many dollars going over to other countries to rebuild and start their governments, but us over here...just neglected with all the bickering at the top. Yes, having to sell your dream house is depressing all while watching your husband fight cancer among other things. My heart aches for you. My heart aches for us all.

-Sheri

Oh Hun
Oh hun, I only got to where I was, because I did lose everything, and I still haven't "got there", I do my fair share of crying on everyone's shoulders. I lost my home in Ohio to foreclosure this year, I was suppose to die, so I gave away my possessions that meant the most to me. So I'm without, so now I don't worry about losing my home, I lost it, I don't worry about wrecking my car, I gave it away. Those things did matter to me. But it is what it is. My hubby lost his job, and I got cancer, so he drinks too much. I feel my sorrowful moments, the moments I want to give up, and then I just keep on plodding away. My hubby's unemployment ran out two weeks ago. But we just keep plodding on. And yes, I think always, there are people worse off, but guess what? It still doesn't make me feel any better about my situation, I just keep plodding on. My husband used to make 150 K a year, I had weekly maid and gardening services, now nothing, life changes, heck, I get into the mode when I realize I'm 51 years old, and life was going just great and all of a sudden I'm trying to figure out what next to make money.
You're not alone hun, and yes, I'd be asking Obama the same darn thing.
I can only give you a cyber hug hun, and I know it's a struggle we're all having to deal with, but we have each other, I've got big shoulders, you can cry on them anytime.
Winter Marie

I'm so very sorry for your
I'm so very sorry for your troubles. I too wish I was rich and could help those that truly need it. We will be praying for you to have the strength.
Linda and El