COMMON GROUND

RE
RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I go to see my onco today so he can check on how my ornery rash and tummy troubles are doing (both are much better). He tells me I am doing well and he is pleased with how things are going, gives me a hug and tells me he will see me in 4 months. I head over to my husbands doctor appointment with his skin doctor secure in the knowledge that today I am okay. As we enter he see's an old friend amongst the always crowded lobby and they chat as I read a magazine waiting for his turn. Suddenly a side door opens (not the normal patient door) and a woman walks out with one of the nurses, she has a large band aid on her nose and she is visibly upset. They walk quietly towards the door which I am seated next to, I listen as the nurse tells her how sorry she is and is there someone she can call for her. The woman say's no as tears stream down her face, then she say's she will call her husband and she walks out. The nurse is obviously disturbed by this and has tears in her own eyes. I know all to well what has just occurred, this woman was told she has cancer and was blind sided by the news. As a three time cancer survivor I cannot tell you how saddened I was to have witnessed this, it took me right back to when I was told the second time that I had cancer and the prognosis was bad. I was at my desk at work, basically alone no loved ones with me. I watched again as the nurse went back out after her, I told the nurse what car she had headed to as I was concerned and considering going out to her myself. She is one of us, she is in the throws of the horror of first hearing those words "you have cancer" and her world may never be the same. It took all I had not to cry right there in that lobby, my husband realized it and came and set with me to deter my mind. He too was touched by the news this stranger had been given, somehow to us she really was not a stranger we had a very common ground. She will be in my thoughts and my prayers.

Comments

  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #2
    I have tears in my eyes as I
    I have tears in my eyes as I am reading this. Re I'm sorry that was so sad. I immediately went back in own mind about the time I was told that I had cancer. I am glad that you are doing better.
    Hugs,
    Wanda
  • webbwife50
    webbwife50 Member Posts: 394
    #3
    Thank you
    Thank you for sharing. I think everyday about how much my life has changed since that day. I am a very positive person and people often comment about "my attitude" or my wonderful husband...but the truth is, it was like being told someone I love died, and I'm still mourning for the parts of me, that I lost to cancer. God bless you...alison
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #4
    Re,
    It is hard not to be impacted by witnessing something like this. It does move us back in time and the flashbacks are not pleasant. It is terrible news to receive and when you are alone as she was and you were when you heard your 2nd diagnosis it is even more difficult. I hope and prayer that she has a great support system when she arrives at home. It is key to dealing with this. I can understand you wanting to run after her and comfort her, it is so you. You have a generous and caring heart and that's one of many things I admired about you. You are a blessing and you are blessed.
    Stef
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #5
    You have such a good heart, dear soul!
    And, yes, I still remember the shock, and then the numbness, and then, well, nothing, that I felt...

    And THEN I got MAD!!!!! How DARE something try to ruin MY life!!!!

    I know that the nurse was touched by your kindness, and why not? You are right, we all have turned to the same page in our lives...and without each other, well, then where would we be?

    BIG hugs to you!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #6
    :-|
    Thank you all for your thoughts, it just struck such a cord within to witness her distress. I found myself soon thinking of all my sisters and brother's here at CSN.

    Hugs to all,

    RE
  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    #7
    Oh, I remember all too well
    how horrible it was when I was told. It came straight out of a scene from some drama movie. Darkened sonogram room...wait for the radiologist, I had minutes to prepare thoughts of possible cancer diagnosis when he comes in very solemn and the first words out of his mouth were "Im sorry, it looks malignant". Man, there is just no shock worse than hearing those words.

    So yes RE, you are so right. We will always be so very empathetic to those being diagnosed. You have such a loving and caring heart.

    Hugs and prayers,

    Sylvia
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    #8
    RE, you are indeed an angel...there is no doubt about it. How can it be said we are not connected when we can so readily feel each other's pain. It brings to mind a time I visited my surgeon before surgery and I was sitting in the hall at the hospital waiting. A young girl blew by me with tears streaming down her face and a look of disbelief on her face. My heart went out to here. I knew she had just gotten the word and it broke my heart, she was so young. In a flash her life had changed. Hugs to you RE for your love and caring heart.
  • ccincin
    ccincin Member Posts: 82
    #9
    RE said:

    :-|
    Thank you all for your thoughts, it just struck such a cord within to witness her distress. I found myself soon thinking of all my sisters and brother's here at CSN.

    Hugs to all,

    RE

    Oh man!
    I remember the mamo and the tech saying I will have the radiologist look at these today and KNEW! It's not what we expect and feels like a kick in the teeth when it does come back. Bless her and her family and pray she finds a site like this.
  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    #10
    phoenixrising said:

    RE, you are indeed an angel...there is no doubt about it. How can it be said we are not connected when we can so readily feel each other's pain. It brings to mind a time I visited my surgeon before surgery and I was sitting in the hall at the hospital waiting. A young girl blew by me with tears streaming down her face and a look of disbelief on her face. My heart went out to here. I knew she had just gotten the word and it broke my heart, she was so young. In a flash her life had changed. Hugs to you RE for your love and caring heart.

    I will never forget....
    when I received the call from my oncologist. She said, "I'm sorry but the news is not good. You have cancer and it's lobular." I thought what's lobular? She said she was ordering a bone scan, mri, and cat scan to see if it had spread. Spread? It was found in a mammo. How could it have spread? I thought mammo's were early detection? "Not for lobular. There's a part that doesn't look good to me so I want to be sure."
    My life was forever changed by one phone call.
    My heart goes out to that poor women. Glad you were there to help.

    Roseann
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    #11
    Yes, it brought tears to my
    Yes, it brought tears to my eyes, too. Hearing the news..."You have cancer." is so devastating. I remember when I was told last June. I am sure your prayers are welcomed at a difficult time in this woman's life. Thank you for sharing your story with us RE.
    BL
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #12
    What a heart-wrenching
    What a heart-wrenching story...and yet, thank you for sharing it. We do indeed have a Common Bond, never to be broken. Having come to know you, not just through this site but at the First Annual California Girls Lunch and Silliness Day, I am not at all surprised that you were so emotionally in tune to what was happening.
    I can only hope that this sister/stranger has a loving, caring circle to nurture her and help her through the scary days ahead. She now has untold numbers of Kindred Spirits here on CSN pulling for her and praying for a healthy outcome.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #13
    chenheart said:

    What a heart-wrenching
    What a heart-wrenching story...and yet, thank you for sharing it. We do indeed have a Common Bond, never to be broken. Having come to know you, not just through this site but at the First Annual California Girls Lunch and Silliness Day, I am not at all surprised that you were so emotionally in tune to what was happening.
    I can only hope that this sister/stranger has a loving, caring circle to nurture her and help her through the scary days ahead. She now has untold numbers of Kindred Spirits here on CSN pulling for her and praying for a healthy outcome.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    So upsetting we all know oh to well
    My doctor said, "it's malignant." I said, "what does that mean." I didn't even know the meaning of the word "malignant." He then said, "you have cancer." I remember the sinking feeling in my stomach, accompanied by sickness. I didn't want to tell no one, not my family, sure not my husband.
    I'm sure no doctor wants to deliver that news to anyone. That lady will manage to fight thru it, just as we all have. Hopefully her husband will be a great supporter.

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