New Traditions

hope0310
hope0310 Member Posts: 320
edited March 2014 in Lung Cancer #1
Hey all, I should probably post this elsewhere and may but.....

Most know my story, lost my mom to SCLC 9/23, just dx 3/1. Lost my mother in law to EC 10/24, dx late June.

Holidays are coming. My family ALWAYS got together at mom's, husbands family never had anything....Plus the fact mom's bday is Nov 27th.

I have 2 boys..17 and 21, we need to create our own new traditions, but it is hard and painful this year. Husband wants to have Thanksgiving at our house and invite his estranged family...that really is what it is except his dad. I do not know that I am up to that, the holidays are MY lose more so than his. (sorry if that sounds bad).

Obviously I will be doing something due to the boys, but almost thought of getting a mountain cabin and having a ski holiday or something. Or at least something simple and quiet. My stepdad wants to lay low and my brother is undecided. Other than my Mimi who is 85 in nursing home....that is us...

Any thoughts suggestions or ideas on what to do and how to handle the other side of family would be appreciated!!

Be good to yourself,
Elysia

Comments

  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #2
    I understand
    Elysia,
    I think i've commented on one of your posts before. I know how you feel about the holidays. I'm going through the same thing cause this will be the first holiday season without my husband. I always had Christmas at our house too, but just can't do it this year. Wish I could just skip all the holidays. But have 3 grandsons, so will try and make it through for them and our 3 kids. Take care! If you don't feel like you can have Christmas, don't!!
    "Carole"
  • medi_2
    medi_2 Member Posts: 505 Member
    #3
    hi
    Hi Hope (that's my middle name ;)), If you don't feel like it, don't. It will be a disaster if your heart and strength is not in it. And you always have next year, and the next and the next... However let me say this; I feel that in the aftermath of cancer no one's lives will ever be the same. I think mending fences is a wonderful thing to do during this period. You may be pleasantly suprised and find you have a welcome addition to your family. If not, you can always feel good about trying.
    Happy Holidays
    Medi
  • mamacita5
    mamacita5 Member Posts: 254 Member
    #4
    medi_2 said:

    hi
    Hi Hope (that's my middle name ;)), If you don't feel like it, don't. It will be a disaster if your heart and strength is not in it. And you always have next year, and the next and the next... However let me say this; I feel that in the aftermath of cancer no one's lives will ever be the same. I think mending fences is a wonderful thing to do during this period. You may be pleasantly suprised and find you have a welcome addition to your family. If not, you can always feel good about trying.
    Happy Holidays
    Medi

    Since my diagnosis in May of
    Since my diagnosis in May of this year I have reached out to my estranged Father. We had not seen or spoken to each other in about 13 years. Life can throw some curves at us and we never know what is up ahead. I would rather throw pride and hurt feelings out the window at this time. Family is the most valuable thing I have here on earth.
  • hope0310
    hope0310 Member Posts: 320
    #5
    mamacita5 said:

    Since my diagnosis in May of
    Since my diagnosis in May of this year I have reached out to my estranged Father. We had not seen or spoken to each other in about 13 years. Life can throw some curves at us and we never know what is up ahead. I would rather throw pride and hurt feelings out the window at this time. Family is the most valuable thing I have here on earth.

    I guess I worded this wrong.
    I guess I worded this wrong. Not so much about mending fences, my husband is very close to his father, but there are some other family members who have came into the picture since his mom got sick.

    With loosing my mom recently as well, which is where we always had our holidays, having it at my house, and without mom, will be a big enough change for my kids, I do not want the added people just yet. Selfish? Maybe....(btw, we have just been married 7 years, so this is not the father/grandfather of the kids)

    Idk.....either way, it is going to be tough.

    Thanks guys, always value your opinions and insight!

    Elysia

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