Where do I start?

jrmama496
jrmama496 Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
My father just had a biopsy today and has been told by two doctors that it appears he has stomach cancer. We do not yet have the results but information gathered from a scan and visually by the doctor doing the biopsy seems to point in that direction. We have an appointment on Thursday to get the diagnosis and although I still have hope that the tumor will be benign, I have to start preparing myself for where do we go from here. Can anyone give me some hints on where I would start? What kinds of questions should I ask? How many and from what types of specialits should I get a second opinion? How do I find a good doctor for a second opinion? What do I do to make sure I can access his medical records and speak to his doctors? When do you go to a cancer center as opposed to a hospital? Who could I speak to to help me navigate through this? Any help is greatly appreciated.

Comments

  • webbwife50
    webbwife50 Member Posts: 394
    #2
    Good start!
    Well this is a good place for support, and I would pick up the phone and call the ACS, right now! Start asking questions. They will help you immensly, and check out the blue links to the left. When I was dxed my hubby and I made an appt. with our attorney to draw up the paperwork for him to have controll if needed and to have access to all my health care providers information. Hugs to you...alison
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #3
    where to start
    Please make sure the first place you go is to the discussion board on stomach cancer. There are many people there who will help you through these difficult first hours and days as you come to grips with what must be the scariest diagnosis a person can receive about their loved one.

    You are not alone: many people will respond to your posts, especially on that discussion board.

    If you are going to the appointment, when they ask on the paperwork if there are people with whom he wants the information shared, be sure that he lists your name and POC information, as well as anyone else who would be helpful for this purpose.

    Listen to the doctor carefully and take notes - always carry a notebook and pen with you. No doubt you will be given much information in the form of books and pamphlets. Read them and do not hesitate to call the doctor's office with your questions. You will likely be seeing them (and perhaps some specialists) very frequently so keep your questions ready if you prefer to ask them in person.

    Keep an open mind: cancer care has come a long way in recent years and especially over the last couple of decades. Things may not be as bad as you fear - or they could be worse. Just wait until you have all the information and then DON'T PANIC.

    Cancer care is a process: be prepared that you are in this for the long haul if a treatment plan is outlined. Your father may have to see many different doctors before he can start treatment so exhale for now and try to just breathe.

    For now, just hugs to you, jrmama. Come back and let us hear from you.
  • Edward W
    Edward W Member Posts: 30
    #4
    Where to start
    First of all, I am assuming that your mother has passed or not available as a care giver. In which case you have every right to ask questions and that is what to do. My girls were right there beside my wife as much as they could be and I adore them for it. They didn't sign up for the pain.
    What stage cancer is it ? Is he a canadate for Chemo, Radiation and or surgery ? Whether he goes to a hospital or cancer center. I would check insurance and see if he is elegible for a cancer center. I was in City of Hope in California and can only say wonderful things about them. stage IV and my doctor only operated because I was in good health (other than the cancer, ha ha)
    So you see there will be many factors involved which you should tell your doctor you want to know. No holding back. You too will have to be strong jrmama......
    Please feel free to contact me on this discussion board, left me know how your dad is doing etc ? As a 10 year survivor of Stage IV Esophageal Cancer I want to help.

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