struggling today

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  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #22
    cancer center therapist
    I had a great one at my center...I am sure most have some staff for venting..

    I HOPE you find something...but we'll listen here for sure
  • Betsy13
    Betsy13 Member Posts: 185
    #23
    ladyg said:

    Glad you found us.
    We are here and always willing to listen, be supportive and answer questions. Have you asked at your treatment facility if they have a Support Sister Program. That is someone you can talk to that has been through all of this. I was offered this when I was first dx'd but choose not to use it since I had the support I needed. Just remeber you are never alone. Don't know where you are but maybe there is a sister on here that is close by.

    Hugs,
    Georgia

    Support Sister Program
    I called the place my rad onc suggested I call and it was an effort in frustration. The gal I spoke with couldn't help me at all. She had stage 2 and had chemo. She didn't have an MRI or radiation, nor did she go through anything I went through. She tried and I know she was just as frustrated as I was.

    I have looked and looked and looked, there is nothing in my area, and besides my rad onc, no one to vent to. I spoke with the social worker at the cancer center and that was another effort in frustration She told me they have a cancer support group that meets once a week at 1p...that doesn't do me any good because I work. I ended up in tears...I even called my area Susan G. Komen and ended up in tears.

    I have never felt so alone and lonely. I know there are others in the area that are going through this. I took out an ad in my local newspaper and had zero responses. Please keep the ideas coming. One of them has to work!

    Thanks,
    Betsy
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #24
    disneyfan2008 said:

    cancer center therapist
    I had a great one at my center...I am sure most have some staff for venting..

    I HOPE you find something...but we'll listen here for sure

    I know we must be driving
    I know we must be driving you nuts, I dont really have any peers with BC either and dont attend a support group. I do find if I walk or do something physical it helps me too. hugs!
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #25
    carkris said:

    I know we must be driving
    I know we must be driving you nuts, I dont really have any peers with BC either and dont attend a support group. I do find if I walk or do something physical it helps me too. hugs!

    where do you live?
    We will meet in person. Somebody will drive and support you in person. I have never attended any groups, therapist was nuts and stupidas for bulling probably you need legal help,hugs
  • Betsy13
    Betsy13 Member Posts: 185
    #26
    New Flower said:

    where do you live?
    We will meet in person. Somebody will drive and support you in person. I have never attended any groups, therapist was nuts and stupidas for bulling probably you need legal help,hugs

    major meltdown
    I had a major meltdown Friday night. I have been asking for help at work and I met with the science department coach on Friday. She told me to stop complaining. I had had enough and said that I am not complaining that I have been asking for help...she said she hasn't had time to get to me. Nice, huh?

    My regular principal is on a leave of absence. We have an interim principal who is GREAT, AWESOME, INCREDIBLE. He gave me Thursday out of the classroom to work on lesson plans. I go about a weeks worth done for math. I teach both 8th grade math/science. I am receiving NO help from the other teachers yet I send them everything that I do.

    I am working on my Master's also and have put that off because of work. NO MORE. After I get done here, I am looking at science, will write my interim principal an e-mail letting him know what happened Friday and then work on my paper. I have one part almost done, one part that needs to have changes made. I am taking time for my husband and myself. All I have been doing is working and I FINALLY feel appreciated by one person.

    Some of my students appreciate me! I can see them hearing what I am saying because they are doing it and being successful! This is why I teach. I do love what I do! It's all going to be fine.

    God is in control.
    Again, ladies, I thank you for your support!

    I live in Southwest Michigan. Anyone close?
    Betsy
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #27
    WE are here!!! 24/7!!!!
    The only thing missing is 'real' hugs...but we give PLENTY of cyber ones!! And sometimes even have 'get-togethers' where we actually meet, face-to-face!!

    Now, in my best 'mama voice':

    After reading your replies, I see that you are busy, busy, busy....hummm! IMHO...maybe a bit too scattered? I, too, am working on my masters...in healthcare infomatics...but I take "me time" too, time to just sit and stare at my belly button, or take a walk, or whatever.

    Your life has changed forever. Try getting angry at cancer, instead of the people at work. Again, my 2cents, if hubby is facing a layoff, you need to keep earning! Otherwise, you both should seek unemployment...

    Remember, NO ONE can make you feel bad, unless you let them...your boss may have a hidden agenda...try explaining your situation in a calm voice...no one likes to do things for someone who is acting badly toward them (even if the b**** deserves it, keep it to yourself).

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Betsy13
    Betsy13 Member Posts: 185
    #28
    KathiM said:

    WE are here!!! 24/7!!!!
    The only thing missing is 'real' hugs...but we give PLENTY of cyber ones!! And sometimes even have 'get-togethers' where we actually meet, face-to-face!!

    Now, in my best 'mama voice':

    After reading your replies, I see that you are busy, busy, busy....hummm! IMHO...maybe a bit too scattered? I, too, am working on my masters...in healthcare infomatics...but I take "me time" too, time to just sit and stare at my belly button, or take a walk, or whatever.

    Your life has changed forever. Try getting angry at cancer, instead of the people at work. Again, my 2cents, if hubby is facing a layoff, you need to keep earning! Otherwise, you both should seek unemployment...

    Remember, NO ONE can make you feel bad, unless you let them...your boss may have a hidden agenda...try explaining your situation in a calm voice...no one likes to do things for someone who is acting badly toward them (even if the b**** deserves it, keep it to yourself).

    Hugs, Kathi

    time for me...
    I would love to take time for me. I just can't right now. My husband did get laid off and will start collecting unemployment.

    My principal is on leave so we have an interim principal. completely different person. Very caring and supportive. And he's a man! (obviously) Somewhere I have lost my sense of humor. We have a new curriculum at school and I was to be given unit assessments at the beginning of August. Well, I didn't get them until the middle of september after school started. I wrote some lesson plans in August and had to toss them all because I didn't do them right. Nice. I was 9 weeks ahead of schedule in both math and science. 2 weeks ago the person in charge of science told me that I did all of those wrong. Nice. She was the one I had the ocnversation with on Friday. I am mad at the people where I work. They are supposed to be sharing. I received 2 math lesson plans from 1 person at the beginning of September. They weren't there last year when I went through radiation, either.

    Shame on my boss for allowing people to get away with this type of behavior. Fortunately, the interim principal cares. He gave me a day out of class to work on lesson plans.

    I went to him and said that I worked 25.5 hours over the past 2 weekends and I can't do that right now. I shouldn't have to do that at all. He agreed. He said he couldn't do anything until after MEAP. That was at the beginning of Oct. and the next day he told me the teachers could get together Nov. 10. That's great. Then I went to im after MEAP and told him that I was drowning and no one was sharing. I have being a problem/burden. I like to be a problem solver. That's when he gave me the day and I was able to write a weeks worth. This week I have a day and a half plan for math and the science person is meeting me tomorrow. Their treatment of me is inexcusable...especially when they tell me I'm complaining. No, I'm asking for help and making sure I am heard this time.

    Last year when I went through radiation, I asked the science teacher for what she was going because I didn't have the energy to write lesson plans, she gave me 4 answer keys. Wow, that was a huge help.

    Regardless of whether I had cancer or not, the situation at work would have been the same. The cancer just made me sick and tired of them treating me like crap and being allowed to get away with it. I have been very clear with my interim principal, if the regular principal comes back, he can write me a letter of recommendation and I am gone. I will no longer tolerate this type of treatment. I have done nothing to deserve it. Their only complaint about me is that I am an overachiever and I make them look bad. Well, I was hired to be a teacher and I make sure my students learn. If they think I am an overachiever, maybe they need to look at themselves and change what they see instead of picking on me.

    I will no longer complain. I have had numerous conversations with my interim principal, he is very well aware of what is going on. I'll let him handle it or not and decide whether I stay when we come back from Christmas break.

    Thanks for letting me vent. It's hard to keep it to myself when I just want to blast them.
    Betsy
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #29
    Betsy13 said:

    time for me...
    I would love to take time for me. I just can't right now. My husband did get laid off and will start collecting unemployment.

    My principal is on leave so we have an interim principal. completely different person. Very caring and supportive. And he's a man! (obviously) Somewhere I have lost my sense of humor. We have a new curriculum at school and I was to be given unit assessments at the beginning of August. Well, I didn't get them until the middle of september after school started. I wrote some lesson plans in August and had to toss them all because I didn't do them right. Nice. I was 9 weeks ahead of schedule in both math and science. 2 weeks ago the person in charge of science told me that I did all of those wrong. Nice. She was the one I had the ocnversation with on Friday. I am mad at the people where I work. They are supposed to be sharing. I received 2 math lesson plans from 1 person at the beginning of September. They weren't there last year when I went through radiation, either.

    Shame on my boss for allowing people to get away with this type of behavior. Fortunately, the interim principal cares. He gave me a day out of class to work on lesson plans.

    I went to him and said that I worked 25.5 hours over the past 2 weekends and I can't do that right now. I shouldn't have to do that at all. He agreed. He said he couldn't do anything until after MEAP. That was at the beginning of Oct. and the next day he told me the teachers could get together Nov. 10. That's great. Then I went to im after MEAP and told him that I was drowning and no one was sharing. I have being a problem/burden. I like to be a problem solver. That's when he gave me the day and I was able to write a weeks worth. This week I have a day and a half plan for math and the science person is meeting me tomorrow. Their treatment of me is inexcusable...especially when they tell me I'm complaining. No, I'm asking for help and making sure I am heard this time.

    Last year when I went through radiation, I asked the science teacher for what she was going because I didn't have the energy to write lesson plans, she gave me 4 answer keys. Wow, that was a huge help.

    Regardless of whether I had cancer or not, the situation at work would have been the same. The cancer just made me sick and tired of them treating me like crap and being allowed to get away with it. I have been very clear with my interim principal, if the regular principal comes back, he can write me a letter of recommendation and I am gone. I will no longer tolerate this type of treatment. I have done nothing to deserve it. Their only complaint about me is that I am an overachiever and I make them look bad. Well, I was hired to be a teacher and I make sure my students learn. If they think I am an overachiever, maybe they need to look at themselves and change what they see instead of picking on me.

    I will no longer complain. I have had numerous conversations with my interim principal, he is very well aware of what is going on. I'll let him handle it or not and decide whether I stay when we come back from Christmas break.

    Thanks for letting me vent. It's hard to keep it to myself when I just want to blast them.
    Betsy

    Betsy
    You are a good teacher. You have been teaching two different subjects at 8th grade which requires a lot of knowledge and dedication. I am glad that interim principal supports you. Sorry for your husband's situation, unfortunately economy has not been improving.
    Wishing you success with you Master's paper and receiving degree.
    Please keep us updated.
    Hugs,
    New flower
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #30
    Betsy13 said:

    time for me...
    I would love to take time for me. I just can't right now. My husband did get laid off and will start collecting unemployment.

    My principal is on leave so we have an interim principal. completely different person. Very caring and supportive. And he's a man! (obviously) Somewhere I have lost my sense of humor. We have a new curriculum at school and I was to be given unit assessments at the beginning of August. Well, I didn't get them until the middle of september after school started. I wrote some lesson plans in August and had to toss them all because I didn't do them right. Nice. I was 9 weeks ahead of schedule in both math and science. 2 weeks ago the person in charge of science told me that I did all of those wrong. Nice. She was the one I had the ocnversation with on Friday. I am mad at the people where I work. They are supposed to be sharing. I received 2 math lesson plans from 1 person at the beginning of September. They weren't there last year when I went through radiation, either.

    Shame on my boss for allowing people to get away with this type of behavior. Fortunately, the interim principal cares. He gave me a day out of class to work on lesson plans.

    I went to him and said that I worked 25.5 hours over the past 2 weekends and I can't do that right now. I shouldn't have to do that at all. He agreed. He said he couldn't do anything until after MEAP. That was at the beginning of Oct. and the next day he told me the teachers could get together Nov. 10. That's great. Then I went to im after MEAP and told him that I was drowning and no one was sharing. I have being a problem/burden. I like to be a problem solver. That's when he gave me the day and I was able to write a weeks worth. This week I have a day and a half plan for math and the science person is meeting me tomorrow. Their treatment of me is inexcusable...especially when they tell me I'm complaining. No, I'm asking for help and making sure I am heard this time.

    Last year when I went through radiation, I asked the science teacher for what she was going because I didn't have the energy to write lesson plans, she gave me 4 answer keys. Wow, that was a huge help.

    Regardless of whether I had cancer or not, the situation at work would have been the same. The cancer just made me sick and tired of them treating me like crap and being allowed to get away with it. I have been very clear with my interim principal, if the regular principal comes back, he can write me a letter of recommendation and I am gone. I will no longer tolerate this type of treatment. I have done nothing to deserve it. Their only complaint about me is that I am an overachiever and I make them look bad. Well, I was hired to be a teacher and I make sure my students learn. If they think I am an overachiever, maybe they need to look at themselves and change what they see instead of picking on me.

    I will no longer complain. I have had numerous conversations with my interim principal, he is very well aware of what is going on. I'll let him handle it or not and decide whether I stay when we come back from Christmas break.

    Thanks for letting me vent. It's hard to keep it to myself when I just want to blast them.
    Betsy

    I'm (and we are) here for you!
    Yup, sounds like it started WAAAAAAY before the cancer...sigh...this stuff at work.

    And you have special skills!!!! I could NEVER do what you do!!!!

    I am sorry to hear about your hubby...sigh...but the pragmatist in me says it's even more important for you to keep your insurance right now...even though you would love to punch these lazy teachers straight in the nose!!!!

    Hang in there, dear soul...and, if 'time for you' is spent in getting your masters...and it makes you feel good...then DO it!!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Betsy13
    Betsy13 Member Posts: 185
    #31
    KathiM said:

    I'm (and we are) here for you!
    Yup, sounds like it started WAAAAAAY before the cancer...sigh...this stuff at work.

    And you have special skills!!!! I could NEVER do what you do!!!!

    I am sorry to hear about your hubby...sigh...but the pragmatist in me says it's even more important for you to keep your insurance right now...even though you would love to punch these lazy teachers straight in the nose!!!!

    Hang in there, dear soul...and, if 'time for you' is spent in getting your masters...and it makes you feel good...then DO it!!!!

    Hugs, Kathi

    Thank you...
    I am beginning to feel better. I caught a cold and took Nyquil to help me sleep. I didn't take any of my other medicine. I think part of it, I did to myself because I didn't take my anti-depressant at night. I can't get rid of this cold...it keeps lingering. I think it's because of still healing from radiation. If I was healing from one thing ok, but two...

    Tomorrow I am in an all-day PD (professional development) with 2 other 8th grade teachers thanks for my interim principal. He did listen and made it happen...not just for me but for ALL the math teachers. They are just as frustrated as I was. I am looking forward to it. Prayerfully, we will get a lot done. The three of us get along very well. Hopefully, the 4th person who is going to be there won't be his usual jerky self. He hasn't spoken to me since last spring (I called him on not doing his job twice...bummer). I don't really care any longer but my interim principal does. He is going to have all 3 of us sit down and take care of it. He finds the beavior and the way I have been treated by these people inexcusable. Wow. He even validated my feelings of frustration, anger, marginalization, and feeling left out. He said no more. Wow. What a stress reliever. He also had a conversation with the 'jerk' today. I don't know what was said, but finally, I am starting to feel better about work. I love to teach. It is so rewarding when they 'get it'. They are great young people with so much to offer. I feel fortunate to be a part of their lives for a short time.

    I told the interim principal that if the principal came back, would he please write me a letter of recommendation because I would only be staying until the end of the year. I don't want to leave. I like the school, a few of the people [ok, very few but you gotta start some where :)] trying to be positive. We'll have to see what happens, but for the first time, I am feeling optimistic.

    Thank you for the support and listening to me. It seems to me that people think that once you're done with treatment you're good to go. Not quite. The emotion is overwhelming. You can heal physically, but the emotional takes so much longer. At least I don't feel like I'm going to break down and cry any more. That is a good thing.

    Hugs back at you, ladies ~
    Betsy

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