Robbed

Carrie King
Carrie King Member Posts: 48
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
I really feel this tumor has robbed me of my ability to "see things clearly" and I'm not even the one with the brain tumor.

My husband has/had a left frontal lobe Oligodendroglioma. It was 4.8 cm and we were told 5mm they couldn't retreive. However on the past two MRI's no tumor at all is showing. We do thank God for this each and every day.

I have read way too much on the internet and think I am now paranoid about behavior changes. Every mood the poor guys has I think I may analyze and wonder if the tumor has reoccurred.

He is scheduled to have an Acrylic bone flap put in to replace the bone flap that had to be disgarded. This will be his 6th surgery since June.

He is going great at work and has only one class left to finish his Masters. His grades still are excellent.

I know we are so blessed at this point and just need to lose the paranoia that has consumed me.

Comments

  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #2
    present
    Learning to stay in the present takes a lifetime, maybe more, but it does take much of the anxiety out of life.

    But I must tell you about the guy who came to fix my mother's cable system. She chats away with anyone within talking distance, and found that Bret was 16 years in remission from brain cancer. 16 years and going! These things really do happen.
  • Luv2lunch
    Luv2lunch Member Posts: 270
    #3
    Carrie,
    That is great news
    Carrie,
    That is great news about the tumor not showing up. I can only advise you to stay far away from the internet. I made the same mistake when my Mom was first diagnosed with rectal cancer and it just about made me go crazy. I have learned to listen to her doctors who are dealing with Mom first hand, instead of the internet where doom and gloom will surely await you. I'm not saying the information isn't correct, just that you are reading about things that might or might not happen and it can really scare you half to death.
    Maybe when something is going on with your husband that is really bothering you, call his doctor first to see if it is something normal or something to be worried about.
    I hope things will get better for you. I will keep you both in my prayers.
    Linda
  • Carrie King
    Carrie King Member Posts: 48
    #4
    Barbara53 said:

    present
    Learning to stay in the present takes a lifetime, maybe more, but it does take much of the anxiety out of life.

    But I must tell you about the guy who came to fix my mother's cable system. She chats away with anyone within talking distance, and found that Bret was 16 years in remission from brain cancer. 16 years and going! These things really do happen.

    Barbara 53
    You are so right about staying in the present!

    That is such great news about "the cable guy" !!! I am sure he has quite the testimony !!

    Thank you for your words.

    Carrie
  • Carrie King
    Carrie King Member Posts: 48
    #5
    Luv2lunch said:

    Carrie,
    That is great news
    Carrie,
    That is great news about the tumor not showing up. I can only advise you to stay far away from the internet. I made the same mistake when my Mom was first diagnosed with rectal cancer and it just about made me go crazy. I have learned to listen to her doctors who are dealing with Mom first hand, instead of the internet where doom and gloom will surely await you. I'm not saying the information isn't correct, just that you are reading about things that might or might not happen and it can really scare you half to death.
    Maybe when something is going on with your husband that is really bothering you, call his doctor first to see if it is something normal or something to be worried about.
    I hope things will get better for you. I will keep you both in my prayers.
    Linda

    Luv2Lunch
    You are right about the internet -- my husband has told me many, many times to stop looking up everything !

    This weekend we had a revival at our church. I have never been to one. It was such an awesome, eye opening experience. My husband played the Bongos with the Praise Team as he does a couple Sundays a month. He also bought me the speakers CD set, which I am going to listen to as he is in surgery (very soon) to replace the bone flap.

    The speaker also speak of how we tend to "isolate" ourselves to prove to others that we are superwomen or men and can handle all. Which I am a big offender of !

    Thank you for your prayers! Your family is in mine too.

    Carrie
  • ruthelizabeth
    ruthelizabeth Member Posts: 138
    #6
    Luv2lunch said:

    Carrie,
    That is great news
    Carrie,
    That is great news about the tumor not showing up. I can only advise you to stay far away from the internet. I made the same mistake when my Mom was first diagnosed with rectal cancer and it just about made me go crazy. I have learned to listen to her doctors who are dealing with Mom first hand, instead of the internet where doom and gloom will surely await you. I'm not saying the information isn't correct, just that you are reading about things that might or might not happen and it can really scare you half to death.
    Maybe when something is going on with your husband that is really bothering you, call his doctor first to see if it is something normal or something to be worried about.
    I hope things will get better for you. I will keep you both in my prayers.
    Linda

    Not only for cancer,....
    No matter what you or your loved one is facing, you will always hear terrible things. People tell you horror stories and frankly, whatever you imagine or think is usually worse than what things actually turn out to be. After three surgeries when I was in my early 20's, I vowed that if I ever ended up in the hospital again, I would say it was just for tests. Otherwise, you'll hear things that will give you nightmares.

    If you are seriously worried about something, see a dr. and ask him. That way you'll have some peace of mind.
  • sleepy524
    sleepy524 Member Posts: 20
    #7
    Carrie,
    Something I am
    Carrie,

    Something I am learning... Please first stand up and say it out loud. You have every right to feel robbed. It took me a little while even after people told me to admit that I am feeling things that are absolutely normal. Brian is the love of my life, I do not have his past as we are newly engaged and a week later we get his diagnosis. I was so angry. I have been through hell, as has he, we finally found eachother, that missing piece that completes us and now my future may be robbed. Where are all the memories we are supposed to create.

    Yes cancer robs us all of something. You used the perfect word. Try something silly and simple, now that your husband is of sound mind have him keep a journal, entries being little notes to you about how he feels, how he loves you, etc. If it gets to the point where his attitude towards you changes or he becomes hurtful, be patient and fall back on those notes to keep your relationship alive. I would also have him talk to his employer and his teachers, agree to have them contact you if they see a shift in attitude or performance. But only do this w/ agreement from your husband let him know it is good now but lets make sure they know that if this does happen it is temporary or not intentional.

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