My story

In July of 08 I packed up my children & left a horribly abusive man. My 3 children all boys, 1 disabled & I started a new life, raising them alone, no help financially or emotionally. Not long after this I met Brian. Starting as friends, I always remember thinking, Why can't I find a man like this? It all changed 1 night, he confessed his feelings for me & I knew I'd have married him that very day. I cant explain it, just knew that this felt right & nothing in my life had ever felt right before. I knew that Brian did motivational speaking for Amer Cancer Society. I'd heard his story was so inspired by him. I knew he lived with an ostomy after surviving colon/rectal cancer. I did my homework, learned what an ostomy entailed, about the medical supplies, what it looked like, how it functioned. He kept asking me, "Are you sure you want me, I'm a broken man, you realize that?" There was no doubt. My every waking second I thought about him. Sometimes we would talk on the phone till 5AM when it came time to go to work, then text all the next day.

Our biggest struggle was the distance he lived 11 hrs away & couldn't find work in FL. He flew down & proposed on a dirt road. I couldn't say yes fast enough, loud enough. A week after proposing his PET scan was done & the results were spots in his abdomen. I sobbed, my heart broke, I cried so hard I couldn't stand. I didn't want him spending that night alone so I flew out immediately we held onto eachother and cried together. We left the next day to move him to FL. Doctors wanted to wait several months to recheck him before starting treatments.

We often laid there next to eachother, in awe of what we had found, the strength of our feelings, the passion, the bond. We hold onto eachother & cry. But we were optomistic still planning our future. Wedding plans started, we bought a home. The kids adore him. We spend every waking second together. Simple trips to get gas or pick up milk we stay together. Still flirting with eachother like teenagers. Everyone in our lives has been amazed at the difference in us, at our happiness, admired our affection.

Time went on & CEA numbers climbed. Tumors tripled in size. Doctors said treatable but not curable. Said he'll possibly continue his fight throught out his life. He cried, I held it in, explaining to the kids what to expect w/ treatments. Spent time disinfecting, researching, anything I could think of. One day he said if you don't let it out, when I need you to be strongest you won't have any strenght left. I smiled & nodded, went on about my business. I was cracking, hurting 24/7, terrified is a good word. This was the first time I had felt complete my entire life, I miss him when I pull out of the driveway for work. I can't lose him, it just cant happen. I begged & bargained with God. That night as I swept the floors after hours of cleaning, Brian closed our bedroom door, took the broom away, pulled me close & began dancing slowly to music playing in the background. I had nothing left, I broke down, sobbed, clenching onto him for dear life. Begging him not to leave me. I felt like the dam had broke and the pain was pouring out.

Today we are at advanced Stage III Colon Cancer. Chemo every other week, radiation every day. Today we are even closer then yesterday. He still lays next to me, touches my face and asks "How did I ever land a woman like you?" I still think I have found the type of man every woman dreams of. I blush at how he looks at me. Miss him the second he leaves the room. We were voted Tampa Bay's Most Romantic Couple on Facebook and won free wedding photography. Pictures have become priceless to us. No second is taken for granted. He is my every dream come true. I will marry him soon, even in a hospital bed if need be. I'm exhausted, I'm consumed, I'm hurting but I'm incredibly blessed.